Suicide Note

He loves me? He loves me not?

The last petal falls and suddenly I’m hot.

Hot all over, the room is spinning,

I’m fighting to stay up, I’m certainly not winning

My legs are shaking,

My heart is aching

The knife is close, oh so very near

It’s right on the table; don’t you see it, dear?

Time is running out fast,

Rest assured, this breath will be my last

No one has to worry about me and my crap anymore

I’m sinking to my death, my blood decorating the floor

Then, when I die, Let us dance, darling, in the depths of this Hell

Our souls festering, burning, do not dwell

And then, finally, we shall break this venomous love spell.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please, keep in mind that this isn't a suicide note for myself. Thank you. Enjoy!

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I like this piece as well. I believe that you will become a published author one day as well. I know this was not for yourself, but it felt so real and it shows that you can connect with your audience. The way you wrote it made me feel like how the person was feeling. I liked this. I am going to put it in my favorites as well. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Gianna Perry]

The rhyme and rhythm are incredible. No criticism at all.

I hope this isn't based on anything from life...? :/

Another great job!
-Shayna R.

[Jack Inthebox]

I absolutely loved this piece :)

[Alex Thomas]

Nice rhyme. Nice rhythm. There's excellent language in this too. I think it would sound better if you took out "shall" in the last line.

[Sports Girl]

I like this a lot. Nice job.

[Veronica]

I like it, I really really like it. It shows temptation, and then she follows through, thinking of how it's all over....I like it since it's not like all the other "dark" poems I've read, but this is a little different. I'll rate it too!

[(JR) Joshua Hernandez]

hm, very emotional, its dark, but its good, good job