I was a child

I was a child

 

I didn’t understand why

She hid me in the basement

 

I was a child

 

I didn’t understand why

She looked so scared

As she told me not

To make a sound

 

I was a child

 

I curled into a tiny ball

In a corner and pressed

My lips together and

Stayed that way in the dark,

Even when I heard the screams

And the cries for help

Even though I knew that my

Mother was in pain

 

When the screaming stopped

And all was quiet

I didn’t move

I stayed perfectly still

Crying, knowing that

Things would never be the same

Knowing that the person I loved

The most was gone.

 

Reviews

[Ruth]

Beautiful poem love!
Really emotive and sad, wonderfully done!
xx

[Bridget Mcmaken]

wow you wrote this well! so much emotion in this piece, I love it.

[Richard Bachman]

I like the emotion, but I want more emotion. Nice rhythm, but your imagery is too simplistic.

[Alex Thomas]

Very dismal. Steady rhythm. The language is a bit simplistic, but it adds to the innocence of the poem like the repeating line. I have nothing to be critical of. Excellent use of emotion.

[R E Tree]

This reminds of a old movie called Child of Mine. You probably wouldn't have seen it but it's about a girl who is made to watch her mother get murdered sounds dreadful. But this poem reminds me of that movie as the girl is so young she was only ten. I find this poem not very deep as a childs mind isn't very deep when it comes to situations like this because they will be begging for it to end. So thats clever that the poet has jumped inside a mind of young child to write this poem.

[deeps]

Emotional and moving write here.
I like this, feelings well expressed.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a moving write~ eerie and chilling as it's told from the perspective of the huddled child~

[Gianna Perry]

Very dark, very powerful. Well written, no grammatical errors that I see...This has so much emotion to it, it made me feel sad, like I knew this child and her mother. Very good job, I really like this. I sincerely hope you have no connection to this...