Would you care? Would you notice?

If I died,
You wouldn't know.
If I died you wouldn't care,
would you?
If I killed myself?
Would you shrug and ignore it?
Would you be happy?
Sad?
Filled with everlasting joy?
If I starved myself
what would you do or say?
Probably nothing.
You know why?
Because nobody gives a f**k.
I'm just a lone person in the shadows,
the bushes, anywhere that's hidden.
I might as well just go now.
I might as well save you all the trouble and
end up in the hospital again.
I might as well say goodbye now and
save you the trouble of having me as a burden.

Day after day passes.
The clock strikes, it ticks endlessly.
I have nothing to do.
I never have anything to do.
My parents are like beasts.
They keep me cooped up in the house,
like a prisoner of some sort.
Sure, I go places! But I'm so accustomed
to life living in my house I never have the energy
to breathe, live, have fun.

You'll all probably dismiss this as being
a trick of some sort. But I don't care anymore.
Because when that final, dark day comes,
where I can't take it anymore, I'll
leave you wondering what went wrong.
But don't worry! You're humans.
Humans forget, if not now then eventually.

Flame this, yell at me, God knows I deserve it.
Tell me how pathetic I am for saying such things.
Say that I'm dumb. Dismiss this, because I know you will.
Shower me with criticism or "constructive criticism" if you please.

When that dark day comes I'll be gone like the wind.
Sure, you might miss me or say you will. But, Hey,
There are other girls out there like me. You'll
befriend them soon enough. Tell them I said "hi".
They may not know me but tell them anyways.
It might remind them not to end up like me.
It might remind you not to end up like me.

Say the usual about how you can't change
my mind about how I feel.
Think I'm joking.
Laugh about it.
But it ain't no joke.
Pray that I won't do it.
Hope I don't get pushed too far.
Your choice.

Author's Note

I wrote this a year ago. I know, it has an emo, teen angst to it. I was really sad when I wrote it.

Reviews

[Rachel 6sixtrümper]

not only can i feel the raw energy and emotion behind this, but the word choice and flow is just so powerful!

[Bridget Mcmaken]

Your words are strong yet your feelings stronger. This is a great work. As I was reading this I had tears in my eyes, for many feel like this and they too live in a world of lonlyness. Again great poem.