Chapter 1

Aiden sat up in his bed. Sweat ran down his face and he turned his head to look at his clock. 3:27a.m. He sighed and laid back down on his bed.

“I can never get any sleep,” He grumbled to himself, before he flung himself over and jammed his face into his pillow.

 

That following morning, he was up and getting ready for school. As he looked into the mirror in the bathroom, he sighed deeply and wiped his hand over his face, “Another day.”

 

Aiden was 16 and a junior in high school. School was the last thing on his mind but he still was top of his graduating class. He had never really cared for school, but after the recent nightmares that he had starting having a couple of weeks ago, school was really a nuisance. He had weird outbursts randomly in history class everyday and that had begun to create a huge problem for him. He had one friend that he could actually trust with his life secrets and that was Eric. Eric was his right-hand-man. He had other friends but Eric was the only one that he would ever tell any of his problems to.

 

“Aiden! Hurry up or else you’re gonna be late,” His mother called from the end of the steps.

 

“You make it sound like that’s a bad thing, mom”

“Oh, hush! It’s your third year of high school, you should be happy to go to school”

 

“Yeah, should be but I’m not”

 

Aiden’s mother swatted at his head and pushed him out the door. Aiden began to walk down the sidewalk. He heard his mother call out to him and he gave her a casual wave, he hated it when she treated him like a baby. Halfway down the sidewalk, Eric caught up with him.

 

“Hey man”

 

“What’s up?”

 

“Dreadin’ the fact that it’s Monday.”

 

“Heh, you’re not alone there. And on top of that I didn’t sleep for s**t.” Aiden grumbled, looking down at he sidewalk

 

“More nightmares?” Eric cocked his head to the side.

 

“Tch, yeah!”

 

“Dude, how long has it been? Like what, almost a month now?”

 

“Yeah, I think so. You’re not the one havin’ em’ though. It’s a pain in the a*s! It’s pain in my a*s! By second period my eyes are gonna start to burn already.” Aiden sighed

 

“I feel for ya but I wouldn’t want to be in your place. What are the nightmares even about?”

 

“I’ll tell you later, I feel like if I talk about it now, I’ll start to fall asleep.”

 

Their bus pulled up and they got on.

 

Each class period seemed to drag on forever. Aiden could barely keep his eyes open. The bell rang for fifth period and he grabbed his things and launched out of his seat. He had fifty minutes to catch up on his sleep.

 

Eric blabbed on and on with a piece of his sandwich in his mouth. Aiden’s head was down and his face was one with the table.

 

“Hey Eric?” Aiden said peeking his left eye through his arm.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Well, geeze. Someone’s grouchy” Eric mumbled before taking another bite.

 

Aiden sat up and held his head up with his hand, “Well you would be too if you had stupid nightmares over some dumb girl”

 

“The nightmares are about a girl? Is she hot”

 

“Uh, no! She has blue hair and she’s really short.”

 

“Eww, that doesn’t sound attractive. But go on and tell me about it,” Eric took another bite out of his sandwich.

 

“Well long story short, this guy started off being followed or something and then he ended up in this city where he met that girl and then the girl goes missing.”

 

“That’s it? How is that a nightmare?” Eric asked.

 

“I keep seeing things like blood and s**t. It’s like the girl is getting tortured or something. The only thing I keep seeing after the girl goes missing is this big a*s mansion. I don’t know what happened to the guy but the only thing I know so far is that he’s like going crazy or something.” Aiden explained dazing off a bit.

 

“Creepy,” Eric said and shuddered. He hated hearing about blood.

 

Eighth period came around and Aiden had almost survived the whole day but eighth period was history. They were learning about mythology and legends. Aiden loved this class and loved this topic even more but this was when the outbursts always came out.

 

“Now going back to the legend of the shadow thieves….”

 

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Aiden shouted before he covered his mouth and closed eyes to try and block out the tons of eyes that he knew would be looking at him.

 

Laughter broke out and Aiden could almost feel his face turn red from embarrassment. The bell rang and he slowly walked out of the room, trying not to look too eager to leave. Before he got to the door, his teacher asked him to stay for a bit. Aiden slowly turned around and reluctantly made his way to the teacher’s desk.

 

“Aiden, what’s been up with you?” His teacher asked with concern in his eyes.

 

“I….I just haven’t been getting much sleep,”Aiden lied before looking away. He was afraid that if he looked his teacher in the eye that he would be able to tell that he was lying.

 

His teacher eyes him a bit before finally speaking, “Ok, if this behavior continues then I think that we should arrange a meeting with your mother.”

“Ok….thanks.”

 

Aiden walked out of the room and let out a breath that he didn’t know that he was holding. Great, just great. His teacher was already on his back, he was tried and it was only Monday!

 

The walk home was cruel to Aiden. Eric wouldn’t stop talking and his head was spinning. When they came to the intersection that Eric lived on, they said their goodbyes and Aiden continued walking the rest of the way home by himself. Thankful for the silence, he began to mistakenly close his eyes. He bumped into someone but before he could look up and apologize, the sweetest voice that he had ever heard spoke, “I’m sorry.”

 

Aiden blinked twice and finally looked to see that the person he had ran into was already past him. He quickly turned around to catch an eyeful of shocking blue hair. His eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat for a moment. The girl looked both ways before she crossed the street. When she turned her head to the right, Aiden caught a glimpse of her eyes. Blue. Her eyes were blue. Just like the girl in his dreams. He caught a hold of reality and began to walk into the street.

“Excuse me…”

A car came zooming down the street and blocked his sight of the girl. Aiden rubbed his eyes from the wind and looked around frantically for the girl. She was gone. Aiden’s mouth was slightly open and he could feel his heart pounding. He stood in the middle of the street until a car honked at him. He jumped and began to slowly walk back to his house. He slowly climbed up the stairs to his room. Aiden ignored his mom when she asked him if he was all right after she saw the look on his face.

 

Aiden was in shock. He had never seen a girl with blue hair, but it confused him even more that he had been dreaming about her. And where did she go? Aiden sat on his bed with his lips slightly parted. His breathing was starting to even out when he noticed a note on his desk. He got up and walked over to his desk in a sluggish manner. He took a deep breath before finally convincing himself that he had no reason to be scared. Sure, he had seen the girl that he had been dreaming about. No, that wasn’t it. That couldn’t be it! It was just some sort of coincidence. Maybe it was just a girl that had dyed her hair blue because she liked blue and her eyes were just blue because that was their natural color. Agreeing with his thoughts, he shook his head and unfolded the note.

 

I’ve been waiting to see you. I know that you can help me. They’ve kept me locked up for years now and I know that he’s been looking for me. Tonight at 11:57 you must go to the highway bridge and stand on the right side. You cannot be there any later or earlier than that time. You are able to tell one person where you are going before you leave but you must go to the bridge alone. If you choose to keep this a secret then you will be rewarded. I’m counting on you.

 

Aiden’s eyes widened again and he knew that it was the blue haired girl. Not knowing what else to do he began to pack a bag. He didn’t have time to think. He didn’t know who to tell but he knew that he had to do something. If he was thinking clearly he would sit and think out everything but his brain hurt and his heart was beating like it was going to fall out of his chest. His feeling of fear turned into worry. The blue haired girl had disappeared earlier but he had written him a letter. Maybe when he bumped into her she was coming back from being at his house. No! No, that didn’t even make sense. If that was true then how did she get in? If his mom knew then she wouldn’t have wrote him a letter. If anybody knew about this then….then she wouldn’t need his help.

 

Finally feeling the overwhelming pressure of the whole situation, Aiden sank down to his floor and rested his head in his knees. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to help her but was he really the right person now?

 

After sitting and thinking he looked up at the clock and saw that it was 11:30. He slung his bag over his shoulders and made up his mind. He left a note on his door saying that he was going to stay with Eric. He called Eric and told him to cover for him. 11:36. Aiden climbed out of his window and turned off his cell phone.

 

Halfway there it began to rain but he didn’t care. He let the rain soak him and he took deep breaths with each step. He was really going to do this. 11:49. His mind was relaxing and he felt confident about his choice.

 

When he got to the bridge, it was dead. There was no traffic. He began to cross the street. He took another deep breath and let out a sigh. He crossed and stood on the right side of the bridge. 11:57. He looked around. Nobody was there. Nothing was around. He turned around and looked again. Nothing. He sighed deeply and ran his hand through his hair. He kicked at a puddle and cursed at himself. Maybe this had all been a joke. Maybe someone was trying to be funny. Aiden dropped his head and sighed again.

 

Then a sound of a train was heard. Aiden’s head popped up and he looked around. He didn’t see anything again. Then the sounds of people chattering startled him. Aiden took a step back and looked around for the second time. Nothing. The sounds of bells chimed in and Aiden stomped down his foot and screamed, “Why am I even here!”

 

All three sounds were playing again. Aiden turned and narrowed his eyes at a light that was further down the bridge. Aiden began to walk towards the light, hoping that he would find something. As he began walking towards the light the bridge seemed to look farther and farther away every time he turned around to look back at it. Aiden continued to walk. He got to the light and walked a bit faster, praying now that he would find something.

Aiden covered his eyes and peeked through his fingers. He was in a city. The sun was shining and people were everywhere. The three sounds made sense now. Aiden’s mouth was now hung open and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The longer he looked around at the city the more he began to frown. He had seen this place somewhere before but he just couldn’t remember. He tapped a stranger on the shoulder and asked where he was. The stranger smiled widely and giggled,"Why you're in Shadow Town!"

 

Author's Note

Something is weird with the font,but enjoy!

NEW EDIT:I'll be making the changes on this chapter most likely today,as well as the prologue.

Reviews

[Weaver]

comma after "down his face"
"laid back down" - "lay" (Yeah, I know it's a weird verb, but "laid" applies to the object of a sentence, not the subject - If you'd said "he laid his head on the bed," that would be grammatically correct.)
"He grumbled"- "he" (don't capitalize the first word of a dialogue tag - it's still part of the same sentence)
no comma after "to himself" although I'd delete those two words entirely
period, not comma, after "over his face"
"Aiden was 16" - "sixteen"
(Can't believe my spell check doesn't recognize that name, since I have an Aiden in my stories, too. He's rather older than sixteen, though.)
comma after "on his mind"
"after the recent nightmares that he had starting having a couple of weeks ago" - important information, but awkwardly phrased - could you shorten it to "after the nightmares of the last couple of weeks" instead?
"weird outbursts randomly" - okay as is, as long as you give more detail/explanation about these outbursts at some point
"class everyday" - "every day" - comma after
comma after "his life secrets"
"right-hand-man" - "right-hand man"
comma after "He had other friends"
" only one that he would ever tell any of his problems to" - "only one whom he would..." or "only one to whom he would ever tell any of his problems" - depends on where you want the emphasis
comma after "Hurry up"
"His mother called" - "his"
period after "bad thing, mom"
period, not comma, after "year of high school"
period after "to go to school"
ALWAYS use some kind of end punctuation in dialogue.
comma after "should be" - period after "not"
comma after "call out to him"
period, not comma, after "casual wave"
"Hey man" - comma after "Hey" - period after "man"
comma after "And on top of that"
comma, not period, after "s**t"
"at he sidewalk" - "at the sidewalk" (I make that typo a lot, too - that, or I type "teh" for "the" - hazard of having a brain that is faster than the hands)
"Eric cocked his head to the side" - Good description of "business" (minor action going with dialogue)
The conversation between Aiden and Eric is well-written. It sounds very natural, and it progresses the story.
"the one havin’ em’ though" - "the one havin' 'em, though" (for ease of reading, you may want to change "havin' to "having" - move those apostrophes apart a bit)
comma after "By second period"
comma after "I feel for ya"
period, not comma, after "tell you later"
" I feel like if I talk about it now, I’ll start to fall asleep" - These nightmares are bad enough to keep him from sleeping at night, but they're so tame that talking about them would, instead of making him anxious, make him fall asleep? Doesn't seem likely. Maybe he doesn't want to tell Eric right now is because the nightmares are too weird/complicated to get into.
comma after "Their bus pulled up"
comma after "for fifth period"
"launched out of his seat" - if he's so tired, maybe "stumbled" is a better verb, or "lurched"
"a piece of his sandwich in his mouth" - Lunchtime, yes? There needs to be a transition here, or readers will wonder "Where the hell did the sandwich come from?"
comma after "Aiden's head was down"
"Hey Eric" - comma after "Hey"
comma after "Aiden said"
comma after "Someone’s grouchy"
period, not comma, after "with his hand"
"Well you would" - comma after "Well"
period after "some dumb girl"
question mark after "Is she hot" (Ah, realism in dialogue... Of course a high school guy is going to ask that first.)
comma after "She has blue hair"
(The blue hair thing makes me think of Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Great movie... Weird, but great. On the other hand, "really short" makes me wonder if YOUR blue-haired girl is a fairy or something.)
period, not comma, after "tell me about it"
"Well long story short" - comma after "Well"
comma after "followed or something"
comma after "met that girl"
"like blood and s**t" - Under the circumstances, perhaps "and stuff" would be clearer here.
"big a*s mansion" - "big-a*s"
comma after "happened to the guy"
comma, not period, after "crazy or something"
comma after "Aiden explained"
comma after "came around"
comma after "whole day"
comma after "this topic even more"
comma after "Now"
"the legend of the shadow thieves" - This strongly suggests to me that, appearances aside, Aiden's world is not quite our own.
"Aiden shouted before he covered his mouth and closed eyes to try and block out the tons of eyes" - awkward - try "Aiden shouted, then closed his eyes to block out the hundreds of eyes" ("tons" doesn't fit here)
comma after "Laughter broke out"
"could almost feel" - No, this is something that people actually feel, not just seem to feel
comma after "The bell rang"
"Before he got to the door, his teacher asked him to stay for a bit" - This would benefit from being shown instead of told: "Aiden, wait a moment," said the teacher, and Aiden shrank in dread at what he knew was coming..."
"His teacher asked" - "his"
comma after "in the eye"
comma after "behavior continues"
"was cruel to Aiden"- bland description
comma after "wouldn't stop talking"
comma after "goodbyes"
"he began to mistakenly close his eyes" - what?? - at the least, I don't think "mistakenly" is the word you want here
comma after "bumped into someone"
period, not comma, after "ever heard spoke"
"he had ran into" - "run"
comma after "eyes widened"
comma after "slightly open"
I don't understand what the big deal is with the blue hair. Why doesn't he just think, "Oh, look at that odd girl who dyes her hair blue..." and leave it at that? Do people never dye their hair non-natural colors in this setting?
"convincing himself that he had no reason to be scared" - Show the internal debate...
comma after "she liked blue"
comma after "for years now"
comma after "Tonight at 11:57" (rather precise, isn't it?)
comma after "before you leave"
(And since there's only one person he really trusts, he'll tell Eric...)
comma after "this a secret"
comma after "widened again"
"blue haired girl" - "blue-haired"
comma after "else to do"
comma after "who to tell"
(Um... Eric? His "one friend that he could actually trust with his life secrets"?)
comma after "thinking clearly"
comma after "think out everything"
"blue haired girl" - "blue-haired"
comma after "disappeared earlier"
"but he had written him a letter" - "but she had"
comma after "bumped into her"
comma after "If that was true"
comma after "If his mom knew"
"have wrote him a letter" - "have written"
comma after "knew about this"
comma after "wanted to help her"
comma after "sitting and thinking"
comma after "Halfway there"
comma after "began to rain"
comma after "rain soak him"
comma after "mind was relaxing"
The initial description of the bridge is good - good use of repetition and sentence fragments (yes, sometimes those are the RIGHT way to write)
"Then a sound of a train was heard" - "Then he heard the sound of a train."
comma after "head popped up"
"He didn’t see anything again" - "Again, he didn't see anything" (same words, different meaning)
comma after "chimed in"
"a light that was further down the bridge" - delete "that was"
"Aiden began to walk towards the light..." - Stay away from the light! :)
" As he began walking towards the light the bridge seemed to look farther and farther away every time he turned around to look back at it" - awkward and repetitive - try "As he walked, the bridge seemed farther and farther away every time he turned around to look back"
"Aiden continued to walk"- delete "to walk" (we get that he's walking)
comma after "sun was shining"
"Aiden’s mouth was now hung open" - "Aiden's mouth hung open"
period, not comma, after "open" and delete "and" from start of next sentence
comma after "at the city"
comma after "somewhere before"
Interesting story, but some of the narration clunks. Dialogue, you seem to have down pretty well except in the punctuation. In fact, more dialogue would strengthen the story, as would more detail of actions and character's emotions.
Good cliffhanger end to the chapter.