Gone

I like this one, but not much inspiration came from it.

I close my eyes

I try, but I’m blind 

You aren’t there. 

Your touch so sweet

I can’t hear and I can’t see

Your gone. The man I need. 

I close my eyes

I try, but I’m blind

You aren’t there. 

Author's Note

I can't tell if I like this one or not....

Reviews

[Bare trees]

Hm, you say you like it, but then you say you can't tell. Personally, this really doesn't do much for me unless the lines are switched.

You aren’t there
The man I need
Your gone
I close my eyes
Your touch so sweet
But I’m blind, I can’t hear
I try, but your ghost...
Is silent, unseen.

Just my take. Doesn't mean I'm right though.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the strong desire that came out of this short poem. Sometime we learn we need someone when they are out of reach. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Mark]

I would cut off the last two lines