Clawing Back The Clay

I've been staring at this white blank page for 2 weeks

willing my pen to dance

instead

it rebelled against me and screamed "F**k You Dude!!"

 

I've been combing the book stores of my heart for anything,

one drop of honey

2 tea spoons of cream

anything to help me dance,  help me scream

 

I end up drinking rain water from over flowing gutters

I end up getting washed down the street unseen

I walk through Silence, and feel a crisp ice

glace my face

 

Is my heart hollowed and bankrupt?

 

exposed to this cold,

my body burns with iced spears.

 

I find my way to the work field

and spend hours clawing back the clay

I try to empty my mind

but there's a monster in there screaming at me

telling me to die

 

I try to flow

but there's a monster in there

clawing away my hopes

 

Back off I say I don't have time today

the monster replies in growls and snarls

I use his energy to fuel my work

clawing back the clay

thick with unforgiving, heavy texture.

 

I see the monster's baneful eyes peering at me

his long breathing surrounds me with freezing fog

the monster roars,

mad I'm still alive

I keep steady, keep moving

 

combat compression with objection

work the field

clawing back the clay

there's gold out here somewhere

clawing back the clay

there's sticky piles of it now stacked high above my head

 

trench it out

bleed and lift

struggle and smile

search for something authentic

assimilate your life

I'm bleeding tons to undo these cuffs

 

a gold fiber forged from the heart of a star

starts to reach my tongue

shine and shift

patch up wounds and drift.

 

Blaze beyond the backlash

fire is welcomed to dance here

use it to scorch the monster, and end his growling for now, knowing

He'll be back

 

blaze

beyond

the

back lash

 

break through chains that hold contempt

 

I run toward slopes of my desire

slide down forward to flows I thought expired

 

A voice from the sun beams down

penetrates

returns to me my hope

the light perches on a limb

'Look" it demands.

I look.

 

endless poems reaching to be written

I alone aching to write everyone cannot keep up

 

5000 electric stallions i cannot catch

escape back up slopes of my desire

on this thunderous ground I bounce

 

a poem streak surging before me

unable to move, coma-gripped

I stand bewildered

 

I look to the light perched on a limb

"What are You holding on to?" It asks.

 

I look down, Ice frozen to my feet

"Fear and Rage" I reply.

 

"Let me Help You."

 

Rays of hot light begin to shoot down melting my icy shackles

"Thank You"

"Go now and be your dream"

 

New vision lands me on horse back

one voice from the sun

screaming wild

along a river road I gaze out

 

Everything is flowing

 

I can stream the paints of endless pieces

and stalk a free born wing

 

I can flow the river's current and burn in blood from beauty's knife

 

I can skim treetops swaying, rush their green towering dreams

 

I can storm through leaves with screaming gales and make them fly to anywhere

 

I can splash these waters and splatter

the air with temporary rainbows

to give a poor man hope

 

Clawing  back the clay I can stretch to reach the gold

to believe in the power of your own heart

and merge it with the sun.

 

Across and through the moment,

the moment is pounding Now Alive Awake

jet fast and wild with urgent song

 

Across and above the rocky cliffs

I soar on wonder's free surprise

 

Up and through an unexpected cross wind

I feel the tree's roots giving praise and singing strong

 

take me    lift me    sing me now

across blazing dazzled water

 

rinse me   shake me    feel me   alive

skating wind-rushed with the swallows

 

know me   taste me  throw me

 

  I'm banging stones on my head

to stay awake and dive the ocean planets

 

Everything is flowing

clawing back the clay

turning sweat and earth

 

Everything is flowing

fear no more to reach it.