Cold Clarity

Tell me why the distant moon burns

in a halo of radiance I dare not disturb

with my fragile hands, so lifeless and numb

in the wake of what I can only call home.

Yet again I find myself where I tried to run

every road leads to a place that takes me nowhere.

On blood-soaked wings, stripped to the bone

I'm here again, without the strength to breathe.

Self-medicated on truths dressed up like hope

self-conscious their deception may not prevail

over this wounded heart that knows so well

the lies I've sold to buy my plastic smile.

It's these little blanks I leave in the page

that tell the better story beyond my eyes.

Lines that dare mock your sensible lives

all because my fantasy is less than divine.

But what else am I supposed to do

when white is the pillory and black is the key.

Writing breaks my heart just as eloquently

as the emptiness that inebriates my arid soul.

Consumed by one madness or the many others

like a corpse thrust into the lion's den.

Torn so thin as to be devoured easily

when at last They descend for the final blow.

When it comes down to it, it seems to me

this keyboard isn't so much a place to share

but the knell for which I'll pay my respects

for a life so readily, so shamelessly destroyed.

The only thing that really calls my tears

is that I can't even find a way, after all this time,

to make this desperate confession worth the effort.

There's just no beauty to be found here.

No rhymes to make my deprived chords sing.

No music to lift my spirit unto the sky.

Not even a memory to sail upon the clouds;

just this tasteless, monochrome reverie.

Truly, the worst part of it all,

more so than the desolation I've burned in ink,

is that, even now, when I needed them the most,

the lovely words have left me to my cold clarity.

Author's Note

...

Reviews

[The Girl on Fire]

That was so touching and heartfelt....
this is so true~
"over this wounded heart that knows so well
the lies I've sold to buy my plastic smile."
Well I loved it. The beauty of your words and the feelings expressed through them was extraordinary indeed.
However, it could have been somewhat more gripping if you'd made it rhyme a little more.
Anyways, great job! :)

[Sazaku]

I'm really glad you enjoyed this. I admit, I didn't think it'd have much of a positive effect on anyone; just some sleep-interrupted venting. Consider me pleasantly surprised.

I tried something with this poem I'm calling an anti-rhyme, for lack of a better word yet. Basically, I wanted it to FEEL like it should rhyme, only to end the line on a jarring note, to hopefully create a sense of dissonance. It's entirely likely that I failed and your suggestion is right, that I should've tried a real rhyme scheme instead. I'll keep that in mind if I try this again in the future.

Thank you for the kind review.

[The Girl on Fire]

Oh, the pleasure is mine.
Well, I didn't see it that way, and yes, if we consider it that way, it was a good try indeed. I'd like to read some more writings of yours with such jarring notes, to completely understand what you wanted to express.
Anyways, always welcome!