Gift of Gaze

Gift of Gaze

A Poem by sayandeep kundu

Two sides of sorrow to savor a sane,
One side is open to step on to fame.
There ain't a posture to live up n gain,
And we can't open to erase our pain.

'Cause we know we live and we fail to pray for the tumbled thoughts n grace,
'Cause we know we leave and we fall a prey to a grief of gift of gaze!

Two rules of rebel to fire a fear,
One kills and comes back,seeking this share.
And no love wins there,no hate to play;
No soul of sin there and no rules of reign.

© 2010 sayandeep kundu


Author's Note

sayandeep kundu
One of the few songs i wrote once....check it out.. after i had finished writing it, I found it altogether a weird stuff...:P

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I'm guessing from the staccato nature of the rhythm and the complexity of the sentences this is performed in a rap style... You have some good imagery in here and I like the similarity between the first and second verses (two sides/rules). I'm no expert on the genre but noticed you've changed the number of beats per line in the first verse and the second (10 going to 9 and then finishing on a 10 syllable sentence) - I'm not sure if this would work so well when being performed as the genre seems to be a lot about consistency and the staccato nature of the performance. Interesting nonetheless and you may find one of the resident lyricists able to provide more professional advice.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Interesting...I could see this being performed in a rap style similar to Eminem's, though I personally felt it could a bit more rhyming aspect to it...but thats mostly me...I love rhymes....but I enjoyed this all the same

Posted 14 Years Ago


I like the style of this poem. I can tell you worked hard at this write. I can imagine this being performed because it's something like what eminem would rap to or any other rapper. I'm no expert at writing lyrics or poems what you could rap to but this poem impressed me

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice rhythyn here, got a little hung up on the last sentence of the first stanza. The chorus part was really cool and the last stanza brought down the house. Nice job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I would love to hear the music accompanying this. Speaks volumes about the human condition.
Light,
SiddARTha


Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is great! I imagine an acoustic piece with a nice twelve string guitar loll

Awesome words hon!

xx

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm guessing from the staccato nature of the rhythm and the complexity of the sentences this is performed in a rap style... You have some good imagery in here and I like the similarity between the first and second verses (two sides/rules). I'm no expert on the genre but noticed you've changed the number of beats per line in the first verse and the second (10 going to 9 and then finishing on a 10 syllable sentence) - I'm not sure if this would work so well when being performed as the genre seems to be a lot about consistency and the staccato nature of the performance. Interesting nonetheless and you may find one of the resident lyricists able to provide more professional advice.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

165 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 11, 2010
Last Updated on June 11, 2010

Author

sayandeep kundu
sayandeep kundu

Kolkata, West Bengal, India



About
I'm a student..more specifically an engineering student..but beyond something akin to a social compulsion owing to which i had to resort to engineering machinery in stead of engineering my own mind i'.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Succubus Succubus

A Poem by Bubo


Nepenthe Nepenthe

A Poem by Bubo