I Was A Virgin

I was a virgin, carefree and blithe

Strong, agile, with an open heart.

Innocent, young woman, full of life!

Such passion for life; a wondrous art.

 

I was a virgin, disciplined and true

So determined to please all above me

And listened to all who told me what to do.

I never anticipated false or negative doings.

 

I was a virgin, cute and loving,

So eager to care for the crying helpless

And dying to aide in their recovering,

Thus resulted in my desire to be selfless.

 

I was a virgin, once independent and mindful

Discovering the new and tasting the unique,

Trying out my new wings, trying to be careful,

Somehow, left me in a strain of harmful critique.

 

I was a virgin, ignored by family and misunderstood by friends,

Caught in the clasp of a vulture’s talons

Trapped in a friend's home for hours, forced by his exploitations,

And slowly stripped of pride by the felon.

 

I was a virgin, fighting to keep what was mine,

Struggling to keep what was sacred in my core,

Knowing I was fading away, my spirit had resigned,

Still knowing my soul still could survive more.

 

I was a virgin, frightened of his wrath and hatred,

Dying under his rule over me, still trying to behave,

Trying to protect what little was left, while naked,

Feeling his claws in my skin--not willing to liberate.

 

I no longer was a virgin, never to be pure in any way seen,

Burning inside with pain, in constant fear, knowing I have failed,

The promise I gave to myself was broken! I am vile and obscene,

I died inside as that neon sign shines above me, away my virginity sailed.

 

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Oh my dear girl .. (((((((((((((((YOU)))))))))))))))

I quote your words: The promise I gave to myself ... YOU HAVE NEVER BROKEN A PROMISE, NEVER, NEVER .. what happened was not your fault.

Think of it this way, please ..If you were an unripe apple hanging on a tree and someone came along and ripped you off the branch .. would that be the apple's fault? That beautiful fruit had all of nature's promise inside it .. just as you had and still have, Nicole.

This is the saddest, most beautifully courageous post I've read In WC. You have so much courage .. use it, please, please use it.

Your friend, Emma xx

[Ellen Hammond]

You constantly amaze me! This is such a deeply personal poem you have shared. Your strength of character shines through it. Your body was defiled by a felon, but you are still you, deep inside, even though your soul has felt buried under all the pain, unjustified guilt, etc. But you have fought your way back and your sweet spirit is shining through.

[Eagle Cruagh]

There are many ways to lose what is
precious, your soul, your character,
your reputation.
There are many worse things that happen
to us in life.
We can lose faith in our God, in ourselves.

This is a brilliant poem, it is inventive, interesting
and carries a moral.

Brilliant writing.

------ Eagle Cruagh

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Powerful , very good writting ... as for you losing it, it was not in your hands, and I personally dont think something has been change ... i can relate to the feeling of lost .. thats not the way you would like to lose your virginity , but its was not in your hands ...

I was a virgin, cute and loving,

So eager to care for the crying helpless

And dying to aide in their recovering,

Thus resulted in my desire to be selfless.

You stayed the same !