Doubt

i don't talk about you anymore

i often wonder whether they can tell

that i'm telling but not all

that i'm hiding behind my smiles and time tables

and that you're still on my mind

am i a fool?

am i kidding myself enough for the both of us?

did you not have to do anything in the end 

because i lied to myself enough 

did i do your work for you?

it doesn't hurt me anymore, you know

I lie

but seeing your face so distorted makes my hands shake

and hearing your voice, destroyed, beaten

makes my heart ache

and feeling my blood run faster makes me angry

and in general something in me feels like it'll break

you can't make me run like this anymore

you can't continue making me feel this way anymore

i'm hurting and i'm yearning, but worst of all 

I'm hoping

for you to turn around, for you to clear the fog, for you to finally respond

for you. to come back the way you left

abruptly. unexpectedly. quietly. quickly.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i understand the doubt expressed by the speaker...because does anyone come back the way he or she left?
i sense not...
no matter how much we yearn for that person to do just that.
j.