The Mosquiteers

My mother's extreme hatred for mosquitoes = instant inspiration.

Preamble: 

One summer my mother entered a phase of paranoia about mosquitoes. Since they seemed to take a particular liking to her, she insisted on keeping her and dad's bedroom door closed all the time, to lessen the chances of them getting in. I always thought this was taking it just a little too far. Indeed, one day when she got quite upset at me for leaving the room door open for the space of 2 seconds, I told her "Mum, it's not like they're waiting RIGHT outside the door waiting for the moment it opens." 

"They ARE!" she insisted. Really, she was quite convinced they had a personal vendetta against her. 

And so, quite amused by all this, I decided to write this little piece....

***********

   Dusk found the three tiny figures at their usual post.  They were waiting, hovering to one side of the majestic expanse of the white surface, their wings beating raplidly in anxiety. 

Of course the door was closed - it had remainded so for their entire stay; even now they spared the religiously still doorknob a baleful glance, only to observe that nothing had changed. Of course it hadn't. Indie was catching on to them.  From now on, the game was going to be more challenging. She was upping her hand - so would they.  One of the figures had recently taken to flitting nerviously in a pacing manner, muttering incoherent curses until in a sudden fit of irritation, it paused in midair and broke the relative silence of the vigil.

"For heaven's sake! You mean to tell me that NO ONE has needed ANYTHING from that room the whole day?"

"Relax yourself Solomon" another of the winged creatures said calmly, "I'm sure Scarcity  will redeem us - she would need to borrow the black vine for her typing device, which is currently in the room."

"Boris," another said in an exasperated tone, "Can you at least ATTEMPT to live in present times? It's called an adapter. And her 'typing device is called a computer, sheesh."

"Ziggy, just because you spend the better part of your day flitting about around that big box outside - "

"TV..." Ziggy corrected.

"Whatever. Just because you gain what you deem as a wealth of useless facts from this 'tee vee', does not mean the rest of us must slave ourselves to, what you do say, 'catching up with the times."

"In any case you two," Solomon interuppted, "Scarcity has once again made herself scarce - I believe she has gone to her relative's house for the weekend."

Ziggy mimicked a fainting motion in mid air and groaned in frustration.

"Well, there goes THAT plan..."

"Don't worry," Boris reassured, "I think I heard her mutter something about coming back for her eye pad before she rushed out."

"Ipod!" Ziggy rolled his beady eyes, "Where are the others ANYWAY? Wings has been gone for ages..."

"The Chief told Wingman to recruit as many as he could...that's no small task, Zinger." Solomon said gravely.

Ziggy shuddered at the use of his full name

"Geez, no need to go formal on me. I'm just saying that in the UNLIKELY event that this door opens soon, we need to have at least two of the crews with us, don't you think?"

"Better to get more than less," Boris replied, "We saw what happened to the last couple of teams..."

   There was a brief silence as all three recalled the previous evening when they had sent in two teams and kept watch outside.  Everything seemed to be going well for the first 15 minutes...several vials of their precious cargo had been transferred to the service team. But that was before there was the sudden harsh hissing noise, several screams, gagging gasps, and then silence. Only one choking comrade was able to drag himself under the crack of the door and tell the tale of the sudden attack by the deadly gas from the long yellow can.  He died moments later.

"We're going to have to exercise more caution," Solomon broke the silence.

"' Sol, we're gonna have to exercise a lot more than that if we wanna survive the next attack," Ziggy muttered gloomily.

Just then, a faint buzzing could be heard....

Author's Note

I know it's not finished, but I'm wondering if I should wrap it up soon after that and end it there, or take it further and make it a little mini series?

Reviews

[Priya]

Haha, oh my god, I've been reading a lot of good fiction on here lately, but this takes the cake! This is so witty and charming. Quite amazing that you made those pesky little mosquitoes into something that can be liked! I almost died laughing. You should definitely make this a mini series. You have one reader guaranteed! :D

[g]

This is just brilliant, I was so into it the entire time! Most of all I love the idea itself, I really hope you finish this (if you haven't already)!

[Wendy Seames Garner]

So funny and inventive, yes, make it into a mini series. I can just see one of the little guys making it through and getting swatted just as he is acquiring some of the precious cargo - thus he becomes a martyr.

[Carmen-Rose McGill]

Haha, this was great! It's been a long time since a piece of fiction on a writing website has made me laugh. And it was a strong belly laugh, too! The banter between Boris and Ziggy cracked me up. Good job with this, and I encourage you to continue it!

[AK]

Wow! Cool story! Really creative piece! I loved it!

[patricia]

this was extremely well written, i enjoyed it a lot, it would make a great cartoon piece. loved it. thanks.

[E. Ryan Miller]

I love the humorous personification of bugs that we generally hate. Their elevated diction and banter cracked me up.