The Chimes

The Chimes

Do you hear the chimes

That mark your end in time

They sound in rhythm and rhyme 

As they take your worth in dollars and dimes

And you lie dying still with that last chime

Because they said the thoughts you keep are a crime 

Reviews

[FlamingPhoenix]

Miss reading gems like this from you

[A. Amos]

Small but extremely deep poetry, 2nd line was amazing...great write my friend!

[Savannah Bly]

Thank you so much for your kind words! :)

[Sami Khalil]

I'm chiming now with this sweet poem...Excellent...:)....................

[Savannah Bly]

Thank you so much Sami!! :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome:).....

[C. Rose]

Ominously sweet.
I like the alliteration.
I like that nearly all the lines rhyme, that was hard to do.
My favorite lines are the 2nd, 4th, and 5th.

[Kamari's]

,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

[Kamari's]

,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

[Kamari's]

,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

[Kamari's]

,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

[Kamari's]

,This reminds me of school I a way the first bell to let you go the second to call you to the next class the third for
When you are late now with the chimes of life I may say the first is to bring you in the second to go to the next phase of life and the third of your death or final use of tardies this diffently made me think bravo

[DaughterNature]

It's an interesting theme, and I like that you stuck to one end-rhyme (even if there is one repetition). The rhythm you have in the first 3 lines is good, it runs forward with a little "aggression" in the music of the poem, which fits the theme, but the last 3 lines lose any sense of rhythm. Also, two small wording notes: in line 3 "in" might be replaced with "like" or "out," although it is fine the way it is; in the very last line, the verb "is" does not agree with the plural noun "thoughts," so either the noun needs to be singular or the verb needs to be plural ("are" instead of "is").