Hatred

A Story by Savannah

freewrite, true story

When Erin was younger, the word "hate" was not in her vocabulary. As she aged into junior highschool years, hate was more than a word, it was a feeling; a strong emotion she felt for a family member. She felt guilt for her feelings of hatred, and thought, "If I hate anyone, it should be a terrorist or someone like that--not my grandmother." Later in life, into her twenties, she entered into her first real, serious relationship, and hate became something fueled more and more every day.

It was for another girl. Erin had much in common with this young woman, the most obvious being they had dated the same man. Now, she probably never would have met or grown to hate this person had it not been for Erin's boyfriend. The girl had broken him, and Erin was left to pick up the pieces of his shattered self-esteem and heart. Erin felt so strongly for this man that she wanted to help him, and wanted to sweep the pieces up and put them back together. But with her love for him came hate for her.

He told Erin constantly that she shouldn't fret about his ex, and to just forget about her; but that seemed near impossible. His family members still welcomed the ex into their gatherings, threw her birthday parties, and the like. Pictures of her remained in his mother's house and on his sisters' computers.

And she felt hate. Stronger than she had ever felt the emotion before. When she saw the ex, she felt sick. When she thought about the ex, her stomach tied up in knots. How Erin felt was irrational and uncomfortable, as well as completely unnecessary.

She decided to seriously try forgetting about the ex, and when she was forced to think about her, she would blow it off completely. The ex was not worth Erin's time, thoughts, or stomachaches.

It didn't exactly work like a charm, but with time, she moved past her bitter anger and resentment towards an ex that wasn't even hers.