Chapter Two: Responsibility and Morality, Choose One.

“The….truth?” I swallow, slowly stepping towards him. Why is the room so dark…? Why does he have a video screen set up…? Why is he staring at me like this…? Like I am a wild animal….like he is almost...scared of me. Scared and hostile towards me….

“Yes. The truth. About our people. About the Valorous. Come. My daughter.”

I very reluctantly stride forward.

“But I am confused...I already know the truth...about everything. Remember? I’ve been in Social and Psychological study classes since I was eight…. The Valorous are inhuman creatures that can take on human forms...they have a mutated gene that makes them unstable and gives them the ability to turn into beasts, they can’t control it…we shouldn’t feel bad about fighting them, because it is akin to putting down a wild dog…”

“You have been taught so well.” My father smiles, and a bit of my worry dissipates. His approval, while rare, is something I crave. If he is smiling- then clearly I have simply overestimated this situation. He likely wants to show me some top secret information, like a side by side comparison of Perspicacious DNA to Valorous DNA. He will show me the best strategies to protect our territory, the best generals to rely on, how often to call on council, and how best to disperse funding to our very numerous and vital research foundations. Yes...I’m sure that must be it….

“What is it you wish to show me?” I ask, now eager for the knowledge he wishes to bestow upon me. New knowledge is something a Perspicacious will always crave, like an appetite that can never quite be sated.

“Watch the screen, Astraea. Then I will answer your questions.” He places a heavy hand on my slim shoulder. I notice that his knuckles are swollen, his arthritis must be acting up something awful today. I slowly place my hand over his comfortingly, his hands are cold beneath mine, terribly cold. I leave mine atop his, giving him some of my warmth. I wish that I could take away all of his stress and pain. Father is simply worked to the bone...he is not heartless....he does not deserve to suffer…

As he presses a button on the screen, a video starts to play. Right away I can tell that this video is ancient. I can actually see pixels- a quick indicator that the film is at least five hundred years old, likely more, because I can see a sort of timer counting how long the camera has been recording in big blocky numerals. The room in the recording is white, pure white. There is a metal table in the center of the room with an unconscious man strapped to it, he is wearing a white shirt and dark blue trousers- the colors of the Perspicacious people..

“Father…?” I am confused...I don’t understand…

“Please, continue watching. Then all will be revealed to you…”

A doctor moves into the otherwise blank scene. He also wears the colors of Bellathus- dark blue and prim white. This does not aid in my confusion, in fact- I am even more lost than I was mere seconds ago.

The doctor carries a tray, but the quality of the video is so poor that I can’t make out anything atop it except for a blurry green something which I assume to be a syringe full of a green fluid. My curiosity is raging inside of me, but at the same time, some part of me starts to loom with a sense of dread.

“We will now begin injecting subject 17, formerly known as a Mr. Kieran Jameson, with 20ccs of transition fluid.” The doctor’s fuzzy voice comes out through the speakers. A nurse, who apparently had just been out of range of the camera’s shot previously, steps forward and swabs down the tender inner part of the man’s elbow with a sickly orange substance. The man starts to wake as the doctor proceeds towards him with the large syringe of green solution. Suddenly- the sense of dread overwhelms my curiosity. I want to plead with the doctor to stop, though I know he will not hear me. Even though I don’t know what will become of Subject 17- something deep within my soul tells me that it will be completely and utterly horrible.

“Beginning injection.” As soon as the needle pushes into the man’s arm, he starts to shake horribly, as though he is having some sort of seizure. It grows more and more violent as the level of green fluid in the syringe drops. And then- the man starts screaming, howling in pain and absolutely shrieking in agony. The doctor and nurse attempt to hold him down, and it works for a few moments- but not long enough.

Before my eyes the man starts to change. His mouth turns into a muzzle, I can hear his bones crunching and see his entire being shift agonizingly into something it was never meant to be. After what feels like an eternity, but according to the timer in the corner was only fifteen seconds, I am staring at a lion with white streaked fur and glowing red eyes.

“Abort! Abort!” The nurse and doctor start to scream and run for the door, but they are cut short as the lion pounces on them, snapping their backs with its heavy paws. Then the lion looks up at the camera, and it suddenly clicks to black, the words ‘Test Failed’ in tiny white print in the center of the screen.

“What….what was that…?” My voice shakes. It is hoarse, as though I have been crying. It almost hurts to speak, considering that for once, I don’t really know what to say….

“What do you think it was, Astraea?” My father prompts, always one for making you solve things yourself. Supposedly it builds character.

“It looked like....like a Valorous…”

“Go on.”

“But he wasn’t a beast before...they were both wearing the colors of Bellathus...they were both Perspicacious...but that one man on the table...they did something to him...they changed him….they-” Suddenly I feel the overwhelming urge to throw up as it hits me, bile burns in my throat and each beat of my stiff heart causes a painful ache to pierce my chest. We did this to them. We created the Valorous. It wasn’t some rare recessive gene mutation- it was a failed genetic experiment that left them forever scarred. The Valorous- they used to be us...we used to be the same people...and we turned them into the beasts they are today….

“Wh-Why?” I manage to force the word out, suddenly the hand beneath mine feels like something foreign, something repulsive and frightening.

“You’ll have to be more specific than that, Astraea.” He says curtly. His hand on my shoulder feels less like a hand and more like a brick, slowly crushing me and incredibly uncomfortable.

“Why….Why did they- we- do that to them…?” My lower lip quivers. I thought I knew the truth, heck- maybe I even thought I knew everything, but this? This was….this wasn’t the truth, it couldn’t be. This caused a war inside of me between the intellectual scientist society has trained me to be, and the moral person my mother tried to teach me to be. It felt like it was tearing me apart from the inside, and oh god how it hurt...Please...this has to be a lie…

“It was an accident. A horrible and tragic accident. Samuel Slade-”

“Samuel...Slade…?” My body goes rigid- Samuel Slade was a great scientist, someone who was revered amongst the likes of gods in our society. But he was the monster that did this…? How much of my life is truly immoral and corrupt…? How much of it must break away before I fall apart…? How much of it will be left when it finishes crumbling…?

“Yes. Back in those days there was more than just Bellathus, there were in fact many countries. Many countries that seeked to fight and destroy us. We were outnumbered, outmatched. We only had our vast intellect on our side. And so Samuel Slade conducted research on beasts, he looked and decided which traits were exponentially superior to human traits. He then looked for viable subjects- they had to have certain genes, a certain blood type- there were numerous factors that had to be met. He then took these citizens and-”

“He abducted them….?” My voice squeaks out. No….these horrible things….can’t have really happened…

My father just gives me a placated, numb look. One that almost looks like disapproval. His bleak light blue eyes look icy, impatient...like they are stifling anger inside.

“It is the duty of every man and woman to do what they can for their country.” He says sharply and slowly, as if saying it this way will make me understand. No….I would never...would never want to understand such terrible things….

“So yes, he then took these subjects and attempted to graft in the superior traits of the beasts he had observed. But every time the results were disastrous. The subjects could not control their transformations, and they sought only to harm anything that moved.” My father sighs, taking in the horror and bewilderment in my violet eyes, like a bird when it breaks its wing and falls to the earth- flapping uselessly. “We forced the now beastial and tainted subjects outside of the walls, and surprisingly they did as they were meant to. They fended off all of the nations that sought to destroy us, until we were the only ones left. We thought this would have been the end of it, that they would die off. But we did not anticipate them to procreate. We did not anticipate them to continually try and destroy us after everyone else was taken care of.” He shakes his head.

“Do you see, Astraea? The Valorous are still beasts, and they still seek to destroy our kind. We must kill as many of them off as we can to avoid this fate. Beasts know no such thing as forgiveness. They only know hatred.”

“We did this to them…” I slowly back away, picking my father’s hand off of my shoulder with disgust.

“We did this- and we forced them outside of our gates, we painted them as enemies and monsters and beasts to try and make ourselves feel better- but really…”

“Astraea, you aren’t thinking clearly.” He presses his lips into a thin white line, but I am not afraid of his anger- I am revolted by it. How dare he say I am not thinking clearly?! Obviously I am thinking more honestly and logically than he has in years! Perhaps in all of his life! His anger cannot keep my words inside.

“But really we are the beasts! We are the monsters! We did this to them and didn’t even try to help them! We just accepted it and moved on!”

“You cannot help a wild animal. This is solid fact. The Valorous will tear anyone and anything apart. Any who ally themselves with such beasts deserve only the swiftest death.” He says shrewdly. And suddenly- I remember mother. Her death didn’t make sense, not really. That morning she had been in perfect health, and then that afternoon she was gone...Even at her funeral the casket was closed, we never got to see her body….

“Oh my god….” I positively jump back. “Oh my god, Oh my god, oh my god…” I can’t even seem to form a comprehensive thought.

“For goodness sake, Astraea- spit it out!” He shouts.

“You killed her, didn’t you?” My voice barely comes out as a whisper. As the years have passed, I can scarcely even recall my mother’s face, but I remember her kindness. Her incredible compassion….

“I am sorry, my daughter. I couldn’t allow Miela to-”

“You killed her!!!” I scream at him, my hands are clenched so tightly. I want to punch him over and over, I want to make him feel the pain I am feeling right this moment. In that instant, I am completely certain I want to destroy him.

“She was going to expose the truth to the people. Do you know the sort of anarchy that would have caused? The crown would have fallen in an instant. I simply reunited her with the beasts she sympathized with.”

“You….You can’t do this….you can’t just lie to people...kill people...”

“This is the responsibility that comes with the crown. It is a heavy one. But soon it won’t be me who has to lead them this way. You will.”

“No….No no no.” I shake my head. “If this….” I gesture to the flickering screen, “If lying and killing people and pretending to stand for something that makes me so mad I can’t even see straight- if that’s what makes the person who wears the crown, then I don’t want it!!!” I scream like a little child throwing a temper tantrum. Tears flow down my face, unhindered. The tears of everyone who has ever been hurt by this stupid concept, the long overdue tears finally shed for the Valorous. For those who were robbed of their humanity by our hands.

“You are the firstborn.” He says calmly. Like this alone would cease the emotions raging inside of me. “You cannot simply decline the throne.”

“I can, and I will! Watch me!” If I didn’t want the throne, as the logical side of me was always trained to want, and the only thing I was really raised for- what did I want? This drew a blank for me. The moral side of me was stampeding all over the logical side of me, what did it want…?

“Where will you go? What will you do? You aren’t thinking this through.” He turns his nose up ever so slightly.

“I’m going to….I’m going to….” I grapple for something, anything. Really- what would I do now?....

“I’m going to expose you! I’m going to make it so all of the people know the entire truth! I’m going to destroy you and this entire lie you’ve forced everyone into living!!” I shout at him, and he laughs as I turn towards the door.

“Where will you go?” He asks again, I can hear him shaking his head.

“I don’t know yet.” My face flushes red. “Away from here. Far away. But I’ll come back. And I’ll make things right.”

“Who decides what is right and wrong, Astraea? Nobody. There is only logic. You don’t need these morals that give you such a false sense of righteousness. Honestly, your mother-”

“Don’t you dare talk to me about her!!!” I scream. This man, who killed the woman dearest to me, was now so audacious as to speak of her right in front of me. My world was spinning, I swear I could even see red.

“Well then.” I hear it finally click inside of his head that nothing he can say will change my mind. “If you are so dead set on leaving- I suggest you get a head start, and never return.”

“I will! I have to come back-”

“No. You won’t. Because these morals of yours will also be your undoing. You take one step within three hundred feet of these walls, and I will see to it that the ones you hold dear are punished severely for your impudence. Thanos, the maid, Wilma, and even the one you hold dearest of all- Nymphaea.” My skin crawls and my heart stops. Could he really do that? Could he really get away with threatening the ones I care about…?

“What happened to your conviction, daughter?” He laughs.

“I. Hate. You….” I hiss between grit teeth, I can’t even turn around to look at him.

“I have no need for useless emotions. Now either be gone, or see reason and submit yourself to your birthright.”

There was no way I could take the throne now...No way I could go back….No way to pretend everything was ok and go on living this repulsive lie...I just couldn’t.

So I ran.

I pushed the doors open, and I ran as fast and far as I could.

“Princess Astraea…?”

“Your Highness…?” The confused voices followed after me as I shouldered past citizens and servants alike. My god it hurt so much….the tears steaming down my face...the non stop ache in my chest...

The truth burned like acid.

The truth destroyed my life.

The truth killed my mother.

The truth was so potent, so corrupt, that it was making me flee from the only life I had ever known.

The truth was changing me into something unrecognizable.

The truth was sending me on a mission that would forever change my life, and the lives of my people...