Chapter Six: Ice that Never Yields, A Winter that Will Never Fade...

Once again I am going to speak my mind, even if, in the long run, it will only cause me trouble. And so, here it is- Humans are unimaginative creatures. Even the most “creative” of them are just building off of things that already exist. It is an insult to watch their portrayals of what they perceive and their grotesque displays for pity and dramatic influence. Kurai and I got into this argument on the way home, seeing as we always find a new target to argue about every day on our way home from the training center. As usual, I was unyielding in my perception. He argued that humans possessed the ability to create something unique, I counteracted that, yes, they may be able to create something that, at first, would seem otherworldly, but it is not unique, certainly it is a sort of plagiarism. To build off of what already exists. Even if one did not know that such a thing already existed.

“Do you listen to people when they talk or do you just stand there with that face and repeat what you think over and over?” he asks, as I pull my keys to the apartment from my right boot. It has been a few months now, and the layer of ice that has glistened on the sidewalk ever since my arrival has started to melt and deteriorate into lopsided patches and gaps. The air however is still brisk, and it stirs our surroundings with it’s gentle breath. There’s the slight clinking and slushy breaking sound of melting icicles as they collide with the hard earth. Cold fading into warmth…..Winter is dying….to make room for spring….But can’t winter stay forever…? Winter….I do so love Winter….But it dies….it makes room for spring….death must make room for life….just as life must make room for death….a neverending cycle we live in, every day. But then- is Winter the only thing dying from within? As we stand here, in front of this door? Can I honestly say that the cold of Winter is the only chill that is losing it’s bite?

No. No- I am still strong. I am just as I was when I arrived...I am still Aurora...I am still a Slayer...still me…..

“A weak minded man is no man at all.” I state, twisting the key in the knob. “But that’s a lesson for another day. If you want me to answer truthfully, yes. I do listen when people talk. But no, nobody has ever been able to make such a convincing point that has been able to make me doubt my own mindset. In short, yes,  I  hear you, but I don’t care.” I open the door and push it open, clicking on the lightswitch with a small crack.

“When do we get to go on a real job?” He snaps, always pestering me with this question every chance he gets. He says I don’t listen, was he not listening to me when I explained myself to him before?

“You want to go on a job?” I throw my hands up, about an inch from actually hitting him in the face.

“Yes. Yes I would. Your training is useless. I want to prove that I can do fine without it.”

“That is stupid thinking.” I emphasize. “You’re such a fool, do you want to die? Is that what this is about? You don’t even trust me. What on earth makes you think I’m going to trust you to not screw something up?”

“Well maybe if you trust me, I’ll trust you.” He snaps.

“Idiot, do you really think trust works that way? I’m not giving anything to you. You earn it. Have you learned nothing?” I brush off my leather jacket and hang it up by the door, stripping off my boots and stacking them right underneath my jacket.

“Well maybe you should. Maybe if you gave anyone anything people wouldn’t hate you so much!” He shouts after me. I whirl around and throw my satchel at his face, the damn sonofabitch ducks and it slams into the wall, leaving a slight indentation.

“What did you say?!” I stand there, glowering at him and giving him a chance to rethink his phrasing- but he doesn’t. He stands up and crosses his arms stubbornly.

“Everybody hates you. You’re mean and heartless- you don’t care about anybody except yourself! I ask you for something and you don’t even listen to me! I still don’t understand why you won’t even look at me like I’m an actual person!” He shouts at me. I take a deep breath and steady myself before replying.

“Ok Princess, you want to play with the big dogs? Well, Don’t come crying to me when you get bitten.” I hiss, giving him an absolutely venomous glare. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you are a hands on learner. But then- just remember that I may also be right, Think of that when you’re torn into pieces in the belly of a savage beast!” I snap, “Now give me back my satchel!” I bark, he throws it at my face, but I catch it and whip him with the leather strap.

“Set your alarm. Four pm sharp.”

“Four pm?!” he cries incredulously.

“Demons and Monsters don’t wait for us, we go after them. The sooner we get out there the better. This is going to be your first real hunt, Sissy Pants. So it’s time to put on your big boy shoes and walk like the rest of the soldiers.” I go into my room and crack open my ‘laptop’, one of those newfangled modern inventions that accesses the ‘internet’. Really all I use it for is checking recently posted missions and jobs on the Muortum Forum. Of course it has an alias incase humans stumble upon it, but do you really think I’m going to tell you what it is?

“You don’t even have a job picked out and you’re telling me to wake up at four pm?!” He stands in my doorway, protesting avidly.

“Yes. I am. Because from experience, I am right. And you are wrong. End of story. Stop acting like the idea is so god awful.” I tap my fingers as the machine thrums to life. The soft glow it projects casts odd shadows in my perpetually dark room.

“I don’t think you understand the boundaries of being ‘within reason’.” he complains.

“Being within reason never changed the world, for the better nor for the worse.”

There’s silence for a moment as he takes in what I just said.

“That’s actually a pretty good point.” And he just walks away. I feel the distance between us, I can feel how I don’t care, I feel how it is no different from anything else I do, I can feel how this should matter, how he should matter, how we should be closer than whatever one would call this fractured relationship we have- but I also feel the walls both of us have put up. We will never be closer than this. We can never be closer than this. Sometimes Winter refuses to make room for Spring- for warmth and balance. Some ice will never melt. No matter how agonizing the heat of Summer and frustrations. Frustration is born when push comes to shove- and what shove can be greater than the force that meets when ice clashes with flame? His heat of emotion, of reason, of love and happiness- and me, with my numb core, with my unyielding strength and mind, with the affirmation deep inside of me that I will never need nor want the heat of Summer or Spring to chase away the Winter that I am. I loathe and fester inside with my own thoughts. He doesn’t listen, I listen but I never yield. And because of that- it makes him upset.

Because he hates it when I make a viably good point.

He hates it when I make any point at all.

Because he hates me.

And I hate him.

Don’t I….?

Of course I do….

I must…..don’t I…?

After all….I’m the Ice Queen….And I always will be…

My Ice melts for nobody….

The only way I can survive…..

Is if I am strong enough to hold at bay the fire that seeks to destroy me.

Reviews

[Jared Grace]

Well, it was bound to happen. I just wonder how Kurai will handle things with his girlfriend. These things usually lead to a love triangle.
This chapter is probably a set-up for something big in the next chapter. So far so good

[Catherine Frain]

Such a powerful end to the chapter. Brings more light to their relationship.