The Most Exciting-Terrifying-Super-Exstatic-Fun-arific-Ultra-Scary-Adventure

The world is meant to be fun. That’s the way I look at it. If you aren’t having fun, you would just be wasting your time, right? There’s no point in wasting your life doing things that don’t really make you happy- unless it hurts other people. Because that would be a no no, you hear me? A No. No.

Unfortunately, living in the boring, monotonous world that we do, it is quite easy to lose interest or get bored...particularly if you are often referred to as “having a smaller attention span than a goldfish.”.....I would just like to point out that that is not true…..most of the time….

……………...Ok, Some of the time………….

I’m just a little scatterbrained is all- other people just can’t think as fast as me. I think super fast. Like, faster-than-a-speeding-bullet fast,...ninja fast. And in a boring world like ours, fast thinking isn’t exactly….understood very well. I grew up without many friends, home schooled by my protective mother, and reading books almost nonstop because...to be honest? Sometimes it seemed like they were the only things that could ever truly understand me, or would ever really be there for me. People?....People were unreliable. Sometimes they left you and they didn’t come back….Sometimes they would hurt with words in ways you never thought they could….

But back on track!(I apologize, that may happen a lot…) Growing up like this, I had to make my own fun a lot of the time. Not that I really minded. I was an imaginative little girl, and I loved to put my imagination to use. I still do, I’ve always loved using it to spread smiles and laughter, even though I knew deep inside that the laughter would only last for a moment, and then I would just be “that girl” again. Honestly, maybe I became such an overly happy person because I didn’t want to be that insanely sad person. “You decide who you are” my father had always told me. And that means nobody else can choose that path for you, I choose to be happy because the alternative is just….depressing. And I can’t even begin to imagine myself as a depressing person.

And once again I’ve strayed from the point- So I believe I’ll just “get on with it”. That would be nice, hm?

I’m a storyteller of sorts, and I would just, perhaps, if you were interested, like to share a little story with you that may make you smile. If that would be ok? It’s a story about my day of adventure- and how seeing things through a different lense? Well, It really can make the world a whole lot more interesting….

This is the story-

About the most Exciting-Terrifying-Super-Exstatic-Fun-arific-Ultra-Scary-Adventure of my life.

. . . . .

Every adventure starts with some mind shattering occurrence- Something that makes the hero ready to fight against all odds and obstacles, something that rocks said hero’s foundation right to the core. Well, I was seven years old when I went on the biggest-most-absolutely-real adventure of my life. We’ve already covered (I think?) that I was an only child, and most of the time my father was away- he was in the army. And to this day, it is something I do not hold against him. I was happy for him, to find his own adventure to go on, to have the courage to protect what he loved… But still….it hurt...being just Mom and I all of the time….

And that day, that day of my greatest adventure, we were in a strange place. A place foreign and yet familiar to me, a place I did not understand. It was there that my mother was taken from me. At least, that is what I assume and am assured truly happened. She had to of been taken, because I turned around- and through the bright colors and swarms of people, I could not see her….I was both terrified and mortified. My mother? The only one who had constantly been there for me? The only one who loved me, Gone? I could not stand for that!

I remember sitting there, scared to tears on the ground. The sun was shining through the forest leaves around me and I could feel the grass under my feet. If I listened hard enough, between the clamor of the people and other ruckus- I could hear the chirping of the crickets and tune-like calls of the songbirds. They seemed to encourage me to get up- to be strong, like my papa always was. And so I did. I got up and looked around again, it was confusing at first- the bright colors swirling around me, all of the sounds- It made me dizzy. But once I became accustomed to the confusion- I was able to think more clearly. I looked around carefully, and I pushed my way tediously through the people, towards the edge of the clearing- Where a map lie trampled on the ground. Perhaps my mother’s kidnapper had left it behind? Well, I was little, and I certainly believed that it was.

I beheld the map- it depicted a scatterbrained image of trees, a cave, and other pictures I didn’t quite understand- a bear? Flowers? But at the end, there was an ‘X’. I tried my hardest to memorize it, not daring to pick it up- for even the thing itself looked horribly dangerous, and I went on my way. I was finally going to get to be the knight from my stories, the knight my father had always been. I was going to save my mother from the hands of the evil one who had taken her.

But what does every good knight need? Armor of course! So I looked as hard as I could- and I saw a woman set down a large tortoiseshell. It looked bigger than any man had ever been! What a mighty tortoise must have bore that shell! I seemed to have remembered something about tortoise shells being valuable, so that means they had to be strong- right? And strong stuff is great for armor...at least- I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes. I approached the woman and looked up at her with amazed wide brown eyes,

“May I have this?” I asked, as sweetly as I could. The woman looked down at me. She had warm auburn hair that fell in waves down to her chin, and sweet green eyes that glinted with little flecks of amber. There were a few sparse freckles spread across her face, and her skin was of a warm hue that definitely could not be found in my crayon box. ‘Elf’, I remember thinking, She had to of been an elf. She was so pretty, and to have been strong enough to steal the shell from such a strong tortoise? Only an elf could do that. I’m absolutely certain.

“Of course little girl.” She beamed. “Might I ask what you need it for? And what your name might be?” She shook out her hair, and I could almost swear I saw little pointed ears.

“I’m Annalise. I’m gonna be a knight.” I stood up straight and huffed out my chest. “And I require your mighty tortoise shell to craft the armor I require for my dangerous venture.” I say seriously.

“Ok Annalise, If your venture is really that dangerous- you may go ahead and take it.” SHe laughs, rubbing the top of my head and mussing my already messy golden blonde hair, She’d made my bold black rimmed glasses skew slightly. “You’re quite a smart little girl aren’t you?”

“Mm-hm!” I agreed, nodding enthusiastically. “My mom says I read too much….She also says I shouldn’t talk to strangers. But you’re an elf. And you’re also a nice stranger. So that’s ok.”

The woman just laughs, but she gives me the large tortoise shell- and it was quite lighter than I had expected it to be, I must say. I then crafted the tortoise shell into the finest armor that man has ever seen, using only the greatest tools ever known to such species. I slid it on and trumped around for a few moments, reveling in my accomplishment before getting serious. Well…..as serious as a hyperactive brainiac seven year old could get…

First matter of business- was the forbidden forest. Surely I would have to trek through the treacherous terrain if I were ever to see my dearest mother again. Was I frightened? Yes. But no good hero ever let fear stop them before. And I was Annalise! The first child hero of Epic Proportions!

As I approached the looming trees- I could feel the dread they seemed to pulsate, even through the safe shell of my tortoise armor. The branches were all blackened and desolate, like a fire years past had charred them into their now hideous and scary forms. They used to be beautiful, I would say- but they had been robbed of life, and now one could almost swear they could hear the howling of anguished souls as they passed through those tortured branches. I was quite literally quaking in my little boots as I approached them- and as I passed that first line of trees, it seemed like all of the light there could ever possibly be in the world vanished, It seemed like the entire world had been swallowed up in the darkness of that forbidden forest…..

But light helped me move onward. Light- and the hope that I would be able to see my mother again. And when you harbor light inside of you- It can chase away nearly any darkness. Just like we choose to be happy, we also choose whether to harbor our own light, or discard it. And honestly, bit of advice? Keep it. Keep it because nobody wants to turn into that hermit-troll-thing under a bridge that DESPITE the word ‘hermit’ does NOT have a really cool man size shell…..because lets face it if becoming a hermit meant you got to grow a really cool hermit crab shell of your own? Yankee-doodle-doo,  yeah we’d all become hermits.

The trees were thick and seemed to ooze malevolent shadow as I pushed my way through the branches. I could see horrible pale hands with claws like wolves reaching out of the trees and clawing at me as I tried to rush past, glowing red eyes watching me as their slippery voices called after me- ‘Are you lost little girl…?Do you want to go home…?Come over here and I can help you…..’. But I didn’t stop for them- I wasn’t afraid (Even if I was….), I just told myself that it was like Voldemort coming after me, with those slithering voices and red eyes (they probably didn’t have noses either), and if I didn’t turn around- he couldn’t get me. So long as I didn’t show fear….they wouldn’t be able to hurt me. And even if they did- my superior tortoise shell armor would protect me.

I was nearly out of the dreaded forest when I tripped over something- I let out a startled yelp and rubbed my head as I stood up, looking around for whatever had been such an inconvenient roadblock. I jumped back and let out another startled outburst as I noticed a little bear cub at my feet. But not just any bear cub. This was a rainbow bear cub. Never before in my life had I ever seen anything so magnificently majestic…..

“Ow!” It had woken up and started to cry, bawling like a little baby. “That hurt!!!” It exclaims. Even it’s voice was childlike and amusing- I wonder what a grown-up rainbow bear would sound like….

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there!” I panic, the little bear sat up on it’s haunches and rubbed it’s sparkling eyes with it’s tiny little paws. “What’s your name? I’m Annalise!” I say hurriedly, trying to mediate the situation between myself and the clearly upset little bear.

“What’s a name?” It sniffles and snuffles, crying like I had just stolen his limited-edition-boxed-set-first-print-and-signed-by-JK-Rowling Harry Potter books. Man- I guess if that happened to me I’d be crying like a little baby too…..

“It’s you know…..what people call you. A title.” I explain, picking up the chubby little bear and rocking him soothingly like I had seen my mother do with her friends’ children at a baby shower.

“I don’t have anything like that…” It whines, sniffling again. “I don’t remember anything...I just woke up here when you tripped over me….What are you doing here anyway?”

“I’m on a super-duper-top-secret-extra-special-knock-your-socks-off QUEST!” I state proudly, huffing my chest out again and standing up straight. “I’m a knight yah know.”

“That sounds fun…” The baby bear cub looks up at me, “Can I come with you, Annalise the Knight?”

“Sure! I can knight you and give you a name! And you can be my awesome sidekick!”

“Do knights have sidekicks?”

“They do now!” I exclaim happily.“I can knight you too- and you can have an epic title!”

“Can you be knighted by a knight? Like, really?”

“Well by laws of logic that’s the only way you can be knighted. Duh.” I roll my eyes and scrunch up my face as I think real hard. “I dub thee….erm….” I grab a nearby tree branch and touch his forehead, “Sir Snuffles. There. All done.”

“Sir Snuffles? Really? You couldn’t have come up with anything else?”

“It was kind of short notice. Now silence and march forward in an epic fashion my loyal sidekick- Sir Snuffles!”

“Well when you say it like that it does sound a little more cool….”

. . . . .

We came to a cave then, and it would have been dark as pitch- had there not been these twinkling flowers inside, releasing the glow of magic in hues of violet, blue, and pink. It was beautiful- but I was skeptical. How often does one come across glowing magical flowers? They could be venomous, they’d probably release some super-duper-concentrated laughing gas (Which actually sounds fun but I’m pretty sure after a while it wouldn’t be so fun anymore).

“It looks pretty.” Sir Snuffles says, looking up at me with his round black eyes. He had seemed afraid of everything so far, but the glowing flowers didn’t seem to frighten him. I could understand that, they were pretty freaking cool.

“Just be cautious, ok?” I buried my fingers into his soft colorful fur, stepping into the shimmering cave, my tortoise shell armor giving off soft clinking sounds. The moment we crossed through the first line of flowers, wading through the thick field, a dust arose from their petals and leaves- a sort of shimmering powder that I recognized as the flowers hummed out a beautiful tune.

“Glitter!” I exclaimed in hyperactive joy of oh-my-god-its-so-beautiful-I’m-gonna-die-ness.

“And Music!” Sir Snuffles wiggled his little fluffball of a tail.

“It’s so beautiful…”I mused.

“This isn’t scary at all! I could stay here forever!” His voice echoed through the cave as we waded through the knee-high flowers that sang and shimmered as we walked past, seeming to be glad to have some company, someone to listen to their songs at last. How lonely they must be in this cave….

“Can we take one with us?” Sir Snuffles asked pleadingly.

“No. I don’t think the flowers would like that very much….” I wasn’t very sure which way to go in the cave, so I continued to go straight…..and then left….then right…..thenleftthenrightthen leftagain, then right, then straight again. But hey, my sophisticated system of eenie-meenie-minie-mo must have worked much better than Sir Snuffled was giving me credit for, because we could see the end of the cave before long.

“Told you so!” I chimed, but he rudely cuts me off with a shriek of terror. “What is it? What?” I look around, and I gasp in my own terror as I see a pack of wolves descending on us, entering the cave from the exit we were approaching.

“Annalise! Do you have a weapon?!” He frets in a worry-wart way.

“Um...No?” I stumble, walking backwards through the shimmering fields as the snarling beasts slowly approached.

“What sort of knight doesn’t carry a weapon?!”

“Um? This one?” I ask, not really knowing why I was saying that as a question at all, and not really knowing who I was expecting to answer either. “Just trust me!” I assure him, swallowing, even though my throat had run dry.

“They’ll rip me to pieces! How do you expect me to trust you?!” He shrieks at me, and I start to panic.

“Stop yelling at me! I can’t do anything with people yelling at me!” I stomp, looking around desperately, and I yank up one of the glowing flowers by it’s roots. It’s stem turns into a surprisingly hard crystal substance, that glints and sparkles maliciously in my hands. I was right, the flowers didn’t like to be picked.

“You’re going to fight with a flower?!” he wails.

“Do you have a better idea?!” I retort snappishly. Hey, who was the knight here and who was the knight’s surprisingly whiny sidekick? Well I was the knight, and henceforth that meant I knew everything and exactly what I was doing absolutely 100% all of the time. At least, that’s pretty much how it went in all of the stories. I mean who’s ever heard of a STUPID knight? Exactly. I rest my case. In essence- Don’t question me, I know what I’m doing! All. Of. The. Time.

“YaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!” I shriek, charging into battle, wielding my mighty staff of magical flower power. The wolves seem taken by surprise and halt their growling for a moment and whine, intimidated by my relentless strength and bravery. …...Or maybe it was just the deranged seven year old charging at them…..yeah….looking back that was probably it….

But I don’t hit the poor little canines with my staff of magical flower power. No, no I do not. Because that would be mean. And a Meanie I am not.

“Boop!” I say with a bright smile, stopping just before I would bash at them and I bop them on the head with my amazing staff, they let out sleepy yawns and collapse right there! Right into a great big pile! Had they not been so scary before- I might have even called it adorable!

“See? You should totally trust me more often.” I roll my eyes at Sir Snuffles as we continue onward.

“I guess so.” he sniffs, “But that really was scary….”

“I’m sure it was. For you, who has very little faith in your knight of all people.” I say, humming that little catchy tune the flowers had been singing as I skip along, carrying my mighty staff and prancing to the tune. But before you know it….

“Halt!” A terrifying figure emerges in the middle of the path, he wears armor black as pitch, his head is bald as an egg, and he has a handle-bar mustache that makes me want to both laugh and cry at the same time….Man I bet children sure didn’t like this guy….at all…..even on a good day….and I’m guessing today was not a good day- because he looked like the grumpiest grumper grumpypants I had ever seen. Needless to say- I screamed. Hey, that man was terrifying! He made me want to cry and scream and throw things just to keep him away from me. In short- he was a pretty satisfactory warrior of darkness.

“Come with me, little girl!” the fiend sneers.

“Never!” I retort, stomping my foot and bending down like a bull, making quite convincing snorting sounds. This sinister mister needed to know that just because I was little, I would not be going down easy. I remember what my papa told me, ‘If a man ever threatens you Anna, you go right for the nono.’, and he pointed. I had gasped and covered my mouth. ‘Really?’ I squealed. ‘Yup. Right there. But only if you feel as though you are being threatened.’. Well- if then didn’t qualify as being threatened, I didn’t know what did. So, I charged. I charged him hard.

I didn’t think men could sing opera like that.

“What did you do?!” Sir Snuffles called out.

“Just Run! Run Fast!” I shrieked, fleeing as fast as I could, passing the felled evil fiend.

Well, the thing about running in terror is that it’s sort of hard to stop. As in- we kind of reached a village before we stopped fleeing…..and we were both panting for air and coughing something awful. Luckily there was a tavern, and I scooted into one of the tall bar stools. A kind woman gave me a lovely goblet of cider, a much welcome token. I looked up and the woman just winked at me, “On the house.” she smiled.

“GOOD GRACIOUS ANNALISE THERESA RINALDI!!!!!” An oddly familiar voice screeched…

. . . . .

“Mom?!” I squeal elatedly, rolling out of my tall bar stool and going to embrace her. She was safe! My mother was really and truly safe!  But her arms were crossed over her chest, and her posture stated that she was clearly Not. Pleased.

“Mama! I went on an adventure to find you! I made my own armor!I went through a forbidden forest! I knighted a rare rainbow bear cub! I went through a field of singing flowers and put a pack of starving wolves to sleep! AND I took down an evil warrior of DARKNESS!” I beamed, bouncing up and down with elation.

“No! Annalise!” She snaps at me. “You did not go on any magical adventure at ALL!”

“Yes I did!” I protest avidly.

“No, Annalise! You did not! You got lost in the MALL! You made your ‘Armor’ out of a cardboard box that you decorated with your crayons like a TURTLE-”

“It was a tortoise.” I stated seriously.

“WhatEVER! You decorated it like a TORTOISE with CRAYONS and cut eyeholes in it with your SAFETY SCISSORS then walked around making ‘clink!’ing sounds all day! Your ‘Forbidden forest’ Was just you forcing your way through all of the CLOTHING RACKS in JC PENNY! You knighted a PILLOW PET with an empty COAT HANGER! Your ‘field of singing flowers’ was you wading through the flower beds in the center of the mall that are right across from the MUSIC STORE! Your ‘starving wolves’ were the PUPPIES in the pen at the pet store right next door! And you just ASSAULTED the nice MALL COP that has been trying to find you for me ALL DAY!”

“In my defense he was scary.”

“Just stop talking and let’s go home before you can cause any more trouble…”

“It was still real.”

“It was not.”

“He was scary.”

“He was NOT.”

“You went missing.”

“I went to go get your coat! You had wandered away by the time I got back!”

“And who’s the bad parent for making that terrible decision?”

“Don’t you try to turn this on me.Just….Just stop talking. Don’t look back….and just Stop Talking….”......

Reviews

[Scott Metro]

Seems like a great story for young ladies.
Well written...imaginative...

Enjoyed it.
Scott

[POETIC SOUL 2013]

This was so genuinely cute and awesome. Wonderful story!

[Aarea]

Incredible! I loved it from the very beginning! You captured a little girl's imagination perfectly and I loved the explanation at the end! She assaulted the mall cop! Oh my gosh hilarious! This was one of the best stories I have read on this website!

[RedRozeNinja13]

Oh- thank you so much! Do you really mean that? I wrote this short story for a competition, but at the last minute the competition was cancelled _ _lll

[Aarea]

Of course I really meant that! This is really superb writing! Try another contest if that one didn't work! I'm sure you will win!

[Kevin]

Wow...yet ANOTHER amazing story by the one and only RedRoze...or Saundra...or whatever. Time to shred some more of my stories -_-

[Mittens]

I kind of wish there was a way to leave audio feedback, because I'd like start a slow clap. This is absolutely fantastic. The humour is impeccable, the events are all too real, and Annalise is simply lovable.

All of the characters you've written are very well structured. V is determined and driven; Aurora is rugged, straightforward, and steely. But Annalise is by the far the most charming.

In regards to the story itself, this is an excellent piece of work. You know how I always bug you about adding details? That was done masterfully here. Everything down to Sir Snuffles rainbow coats, the singing flowers, the terrifying mall cop, and even a philosophical discussion of how we would all be hermit crabs if we could grow a shell are just some of the golden nuggets found here. The structure and the pacing are perfect. But most important thing is something the one-of-a-kind humour; this is a story that has the reader smiling and laughing the entire time.

I know you're looking for a short story to show off, and I would highly recommend you choose this one. Don't get me wrong, Song of the Nightengale is good, but this one has the individualistic flare and a great standalone appeal. And I don't just mean as a short story for children; this one is good reading for everyone.

[RedRozeNinja13]

So if this were in a competition, would you vote for it?

[Mittens]

If you're going to enter this in competition, I think you'd probably start writing your victory speech.

[RedRozeNinja13]

I'm glad you like it,because on another site I got an absolutely heart-shattering review on this piece. I was accused of being high while writing it, was informed that the reader was disappointed, and that I was "trying way too hard". It's a major blow to my self-esteem as I writer. I've never gotten a truly horrendous review before, especially on one of my best works...

[Mittens]

Aw, I'm sorry, Saundra. That's definitely rough but negative experiences are part of the trade. But one way to look at it is this: Annaliese had the adventure of a lifetime here and enjoyed it; her mother, on the other hand, was not nearly as impressed. The situation is analogous to what you're encountering with the other site.

One thing to remember is that you're never going to make everyone happy; someone out there will find something wrong with everything. Not everyone likes Harry Potter, not everyone likes George R. R. Martin, not everyone likes Charles Dickens. In this case, I would say your other reader was not exactly attuned to this thing humans know as a 'sense of humour', but there are a lot of those out there. Never change your writing to try to appeal to 'everyone'. The way you balance it out is by knowing that your fans love your writing and the enjoyment they get from it far outweighs the other end of the spectrum. Write for you fans, not your critics (although, never block out negative criticism entirely because it can be a valuable learning tool).

[Catherine Frain]

WOW. Her mom is such a imagination spoiler. -_- but at Annalise can at least think happily about stories like this even with her mom. It's a really goood short story that anyone who is a fan of Annalise should love. :D