Prologue

The Beginning

A blanket of night and ice slowly settled on the little village of Driftwahl, bleeding the color from the sky and leaving the cottages to trail smoke into the growing gloom. The townspeople shuttered their windows and shooed their livestock into the barns for the night, sensing the oncoming blizzard that was sure to sweep over their small community sometime during the night. If the howling of the wind wasn’t a solid clue, the steeply dropping temperatures were a dead giveaway.

A small girl, no older than five years of age, happily ran and frolicked through the building snow, dancing and catching the falling flurries on her little pink tongue. Her ebony black hair glimmered softly in the fading light as she played her game, her father watching solemnly from their doorstep.

            “Laila, come inside before it gets too late,” her father gently chastised her.

            He was a kind and knowing man, though he always had too many wrinkles for his otherwise young face. He seemed to always know what she was doing before she knew it herself, though he was never harsh or rough. Laila always wondered if there was ever a time that he didn’t look forlorn, but if there had been, it was from long before she could remember.

            “Yes, Papa,” she replied sullenly. Trudging quietly through the open door, she cast a backwards glance at her father. He stood tall though his shoulders slumped forward with an unseen weight. His dark eyes stared at a fixed point somewhere in the distance, though whatever caught his eye remained lost on her.

            Inside the small cottage, Laila’s mother was busily preparing dinner for the hungry mouths of her family. As she rushed about the tiny kitchen, her knotted hair began slipping from the bun she had hastily tied up. Small pieces of honey and gold spilled across her shoulders, and though she looked disheveled and weary, Laila was amazed at how beautiful she still looked. Watching her with curious eyes, Laila stood just inside the sitting area as her mother finished cooking a stew that filled her home with an alliaceous aroma.

            In one corner sat a small crib, where an even smaller babe lay softly crying, hungry for a dinner of his own. Laila’s mother set her wooden spoon aside and bustled over to the crib. As she softly crooned to the upset infant, she asked, “sweetheart, would you please set the table for us while I nurse your baby brother?”

            “Yes, Mama,” Laila replied before scampering off to do her chore.

            Before too long, the little family was seated and enjoying dinner. Though the cottage was warm and bright on such a cold night, Laila couldn’t help but notice something amiss. The air was heavy, and a dark light seemed to shine in her parent’s eyes. Something almost haunting was hiding behind their smiles and laughter. Though she was but a child, and she wanted everything to be right with the world. She could never have known the darkness and fear that she was to face in the coming years.

Author's Note

This is an introduction.

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

Good Katie. You have built up an effective feeling of impending doom. Your descriptions are good but I wonder where and when it is set although it is only a brief intro.
I would say that, like me, and I guess all writers, it is worth going through it carefully to pick up mistakes and look for improvements. The typical mistakes I make are using too many words - for example 'A small girl, no older than five years of age' could be abbreviated to ''A small girl, no older than five'.
Also I feel the phrase 'dead giveaway' seems a bit out of place as I think it is a modern expression. You mention 'an even smaller babe' at one point. Is there another baby?
It is best to keep the language simple - I'll admit I didn't know 'alliacious' although my vocab' is pretty good - perhaps just the word garlicy might be better.
I hope you find this helpful - I have appreciated the help from lots of writers on WC that have allowed me to improve my writing (I don't always agree with them!)
All the best ,
Alan

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you for your feedback! This is actually the first draft of the prologue that I wrote, I have gone through it several times and finished off this particular section however I have not uploaded the changes here yet. I work a lot and find I do not have enough time to get everything done. Hopefully I will have this updated and have more added before too long though. Again, thank you!

[Teja]

A kind of perfect start for a story . You have done a great work . Nicely written .
Enjoyed reading it .

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you for your input, Teja :)