December 21st, 2012

When all is said and done and gone,
We'll pack our souls away,
When our whole world turns upside down,
And night becomes the day.

When none but death and grief are left,
We'll stow our hearts in, too,
And keep them safe until the day,
The world begins anew.

We'll leave this blackened earth behind,
Our Mother, sick and cold,
A poisoned land with hot, cruel hate,
Caught fast in Satan's hold.

We'll lie in wait among the stars,
The moon will wax and wane,
Time will still run on and on,
Until we're born again.

Author's Note

This is sort of an idea for the whole "apocalypse" that will be occurring in about a week and a half or so. I don't really believe the world will end, but it certainly makes for a playful topic to toy with haha. Any criticism is welcome, thank you! :-)

Reviews

[SM Davis]

your meter is perfect. The third stanza is my favorite. I like the images. The only question I have is the second stanza, what will we store our hearts in? I must have missed it. It caught me up a bit going back to find out. The use of the word too, I think, is what got me.

Otherwise your mechanics are fantastic. Your imagery is crisp. Your poem is lovely.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you for the ind review! Sorry for my late reply here, I don't check in as much as I should. For clarification on the second stanza: in the first stanza there's the second line "we'll pack our souls away". The second line of the second stanza was intended to be a continuation of sorts, where "we store our hearts in, too" means that we put them in the same place we put our souls. Sorry this was a bit confusing!

[MrKnowAll]

Optimistic I'd say. The best part I liked is the first line "When all is said and done", something we also hear once in a while. The connection here is strict forward. Everything will vanish. But after that, you shed light upon the story. You give hope by saying that it's all just period, giving us the sensation of a new world at ends.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you, I like your interpretation.

[Butch Decatoria]

wonderful flow to this, and i believe that there is no end--just transformation or transcendence. great poem.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you

[David Lewis Paget]

Very clever, Katie, full kudos for this one. In the light of the Mayan Calendar, climate change and religious contention it's very apt.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you very much, David. I'm so glad you liked it.

[Emerald Seas]

This is a wonderful write! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it - and as someone else posted this doesn't just have to relate to the Mayan prophecy looming over us. It is well written and speak to (our) Christian beliefs.
Excellent!

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you! I personally don't believe the world will end in the next week, but it surely makes for an interesting topic.

[Epipsychologist]

This works without the coming faux-pocalypse too. I also see some neo-platonic reincarnation going on, but that may just be what I want to see. Your words have a really nice flow and none of the rhymes feel forced. Excellent poem.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you, I'm happy you enjoyed it.

[Rene Velez]

Interesting concept I wrote one called apocalypse about a year ago about the day after, well done and fun to read, hey ya never know and if so hope to meet you on the other side LOL.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you, I'd love to check yours out too lol

[william keepers]

No criticism from me Katie for your understanding of 21/12/12 is so much like my own. I think of this time as the dawning of a new consciousness, and sadly I must agree, there is likely to be a great deal of turmoil before this new consciousness is truly realized.
I really don't believe in the end of the world either, yet as you say "Our Mother, sick and cold". In my opinion, She will now take the time to heal. In a way She will release some built up preasure, then perhaps go dormant for a short while I believe. Sadly, many will suffer through this. Not because She is vengeful, but rather because she is loving. Her purpose is always to nuture and She just needs to rest awhile.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you, I don't really believe the world is going to end either, but I do think that it will get sick, and possibly uninhabitable. But this is because the limits will be reached and humans will take every last thing they can from the earth, which may lead to their own destruction. But it will leave room for a "rebirth" of sorts. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Clayton Bardwell]

I'm with you on this one. We humans are but a virus on this land. Tantamount to a pack of fleas on a dogs back, taking what we can and polluting what's left behind. One day mother earth will shake us off and heal her wounds. The earth will live on in spite of us.

[Clayton Bardwell]

Gosh, that sounds dreadful. I am hopeful we can change our evil ways.

[Katie Lynn]

Hoping for a better future is the least we can do. But I do not believe the human race will be completely annihilated. At least not until well after our lifetime.

[Clayton Bardwell]

You may be right about that. I read somewhere, a long time ago, archaeologists believe that a zillion years ago, (not an exact date), we humans nearly went extinct. The number 60,000 sticks in my faded memory. They called it the hour glass effect.
That doesn't change the fact that this is an interesting and well written poem.

[Clayton Bardwell]

Found it. Not the same cause, but the same idea.

Here's the link:
http://ice2.uab.cat/argo/Argo_actualitzacio/argo_butlleti/ccee/geologia/arxius/4Gathorne-Hardy.pdf

[william keepers]

Can't help but pipe back into this conversation! There is a story that begins the Hindu holy book, the Bughavad Gita (not sure of the spelling) That tells of an explosion that nearly brings mankind to an end. It is not refering to a future event, but one from the past. Ironically, there is an area in India (so I have read) that has unusually high levels of radiation that was not caused by modern man. Could be a site where a nuclear bomb was detonated tens of thousands of years ago by an advanced (un) civilization of humans. Only speculation, but it's worth contemplating I guess...

[Clayton Bardwell]

That's interesting. By the way, the article in that link argues that there wasn't a bottle neck as formally believed.

[Katie Lynn]

That article is very interesting. I read the first few paragraphs of it but I am on my lunch break, so I am pressed for time. But I will certainly read it later, thank you for sharing!

[Pitta S Dev]

Hi Katie, essence of poet's thought written in melody

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you. :-)

[Pax]

wow, I'm blown away with your rhyming... great flow...
and you painted the apocalyptic scene really well...
awesome write!

[Katie Lynn]

Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it.

[Tate Morgan]

Katie Loveed this poem it is what I expect from you beauty !!!

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you! :-)