December 21st, 2012

When all is said and done and gone,
We'll pack our souls away,
When our whole world turns upside down,
And night becomes the day.

When none but death and grief are left,
We'll stow our hearts in, too,
And keep them safe until the day,
The world begins anew.

We'll leave this blackened earth behind,
Our Mother, sick and cold,
A poisoned land with hot, cruel hate,
Caught fast in Satan's hold.

We'll lie in wait among the stars,
The moon will wax and wane,
Time will still run on and on,
Until we're born again.

Author's Note

This is sort of an idea for the whole "apocalypse" that will be occurring in about a week and a half or so. I don't really believe the world will end, but it certainly makes for a playful topic to toy with haha. Any criticism is welcome, thank you! :-)

Reviews

[SM Davis]

your meter is perfect. The third stanza is my favorite. I like the images. The only question I have is the second stanza, what will we store our hearts in? I must have missed it. It caught me up a bit going back to find out. The use of the word too, I think, is what got me.

Otherwise your mechanics are fantastic. Your imagery is crisp. Your poem is lovely.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you for the ind review! Sorry for my late reply here, I don't check in as much as I should. For clarification on the second stanza: in the first stanza there's the second line "we'll pack our souls away". The second line of the second stanza was intended to be a continuation of sorts, where "we store our hearts in, too" means that we put them in the same place we put our souls. Sorry this was a bit confusing!

[Revolutionary]

Happy solstice and glad you are still here.Born again

[saunved]

Quite a playful read it was! :-) Its 20 December 23:34 here...and nothing is shaking or breaking around me...but well...let us see...yet...! I WANNA COMPLETE MY SCHOOLING at least! Its my last year, man! Ah well...lovely poem, lovely words and lovely meaning behind the words. Full appreciation! Thank you.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :-)

[Onyia-Ali, Kingsley Chu..]

Certainly, when we have this in mind, the end of the world, there would a need to amend our ways; if we must "Lie in wait among the stars." the world is never a resting place, we come and go. The world has be overwhelmed by the deeds of the satan. I so much believe in this new World (paradise) where all lost would be regain by them that believe. Thank for this poem. It remain me all I believed.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Shellie]

Thanks to Tate for the RR. Loved it- the flow was superb and your phrasing is fantastic. Very good writing!

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Relic]

This is great writing. I love the rhymes which run smooth as glass. Excellent poem.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you! :)

[Relic]

You're welcome Katie.

[Tunder]

beautiful poem! The idea of the world not ending, but being reborn is an interesting new take on the concept! Lovely job :)

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you :) I just don't like to think that everything the world has become will just vanish. I like to believe we will all be starting over.

[jwenjwen]

wow!! i love the last para :)

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you :)

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

brilliantly written. Well done

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you, Neva

[Tarry Franck]

You did a great job on such a talked about subject around the world. Very well done!
Bravo - Take a bow.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it. :-)

[quinfinn]

i am always impressed with the many interpretations of this whole Mayan apocalypse issue. without delving into religious principles, let me state that i think we will never see the rift if indeed the world as we know it is near the end...but, being somewhat pagan in my leanings, i prefer to think that we will slowly begin to witness a transformation of both our galaxy and our planet which will profoundly effect us. i find your write to be very light hearted and yet poignant, which is effective and resonates my opinions...you have created a gem here...let it shine.

[Katie Lynn]

Thank you very much for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[quinfinn]

decidedly so!