Amongst The Evergreens

We met amongst the Evergreens
There beside a flowing stream.
The Sun peaking through the trees
Wind, a whisper of everything.

Our souls bare and beckoning,
We shared a path and reckoning.
And as the moon began to rise
Our Love unfurled, welcoming surprise.

Sauntering side by side, we knew
Holding hands, enjoying the view.
Amorous thoughts and tranquility
Opening minds and vulnerability.

The elements raged beyond our grasp
But still our hands, tightly clasped.
And as the storms began to subside,
There we stood side by side.

We found ourselves in those old woods
And in each other, we understood.
Souls and hearts, entwined and in gleam,
We met amongst the Evergreens.

Reviews

[Rynn]

"We met amongst the Evergreens
There beside a flowing stream.
The Sun peaking through the trees
Wind, a whisper of everything. " - Good imagery, very serene setting that I can very easily picture as I read.
The only thing I caught here, and noticed that you do throughout, is capitalizing. If it is intentional, then pay me no mind. Otherwise, be sure you punctuate the way that you want others to read your work. As is, each line is a new sentence. Read it out loud if you are having any trouble deciding.

"Our souls bare and beckoning,
We shared a path and reckoning.
And as the moon began to rise
Our Love unfurled, welcoming surprise." - I like your use of alliteration. The sounds of words make this a really enjoyable piece. The rhyme scheme, while I don't usually enjoy it, works very well here. Well done.

"Sauntering side by side, we knew
Holding hands, enjoying the view.
Amorous thoughts and tranquility
Opening minds and vulnerability. " - I really like your word choice here, again, it's just so smooth.

"The elements raged beyond our grasp
But still our hands, tightly clasped.
And as the storms began to subside,
There we stood side by side. " - I didn't think the word 'rage' fit here too well. It was jostling and sharp against the bigger picture. I like the repetition as well.

"We found ourselves in those old woods
And in each other, we understood.
Souls and hearts, entwined and in gleam,
We met amongst the Evergreens." - Here I think you could change some words up for the sake of avoiding cliche. Souls and hearts are all well and fine, but I think with your use of language, you could surprise us more. Find something new to say out of a well established saying.

Overall, I think you did a great job with imagery and flow. All suggestions for word choice and changes are completely up to you, the author, and are solely based on my interpretation of your work. I like the way you've organized the stanza's as well. Well done, thank you for the read. Write on.

-Rynn

[Giulia King]

A beautiful heartwarming poem :)

[heartspeaks]

This is very graceful... beautiful depiction of everything...I loved the way you described the natures role here...awed..Good read

[DanTheMan]

Amazingly beautiful poem. It brings out the beauty of love and nature.

[EcstaticEuphoria]

So Beautiful! Loved the rhymes and visual sensuality. Thank you for sharing!

[Hebe]

A very beautiful and touching poem, we always remember those special places... lovely imagery.

[wordman]

love and nature go hand in hand,lovely romntic piece

[Surya]

Haha, That's a smile on my face...A lovely write..I enjoyed..:)

[Paradox]

Very very beautiful. Rhyming as also use of language and words r so appropriate. Magnificient scenario u described.... Luvd it

[Najam Us Saher]

Very beautiful imagery. I could imagine the scenario such was your description. I liked it a lot.