A Rainy Day

Got my keys and headed out the house ..

I kept running and running .. waiting for an exist .. waiting for that feeling of relief to come ..

 

waiting for the raindrops to just wash away my pain, just like it washes everything else ..

I kept running , and this cold breeze was hitting my face .. I felt so alone .. and the wind and rain were my only company ..

 

my heart rate went up to a thousand .. and I ran out of breathe .. but I didn’t want to stop ..

 

I didn't want to stop and just see that flash of past just play itself right in front of me.. I felt so afraid .. like something was haunting me .. and running after me.. I looked back.. nothing ..

 

I felt this feeling inside of me .. this feeling that dragged me down , and kept pulling me down .. my heart ached and my eyes were filled with tears.. I felt this shiver running through my body .. there were people walking by .. and others enjoying the sound of the comforting rain drops hitting the ground..

 

but it was just me ,, running to release my pain .. I was all alone .. in a world filled  with strangers ..

 

I wanted to just lay down and cry .. I stopped running .. laid down on the grass .. and just looked into the beauty of the stars ..

 

I tried to forget about everything .. but it all came back and played the moments in my head ..

I was so close to breaking down .. and just bursting into tears .. but what's the use ?

What will I gain ?? Will I feel revealed ? No..

Should I tell anyone ? NO!

All I am getting out of people is nothing .. they never seem to help .. So ill just get rid of it alone ..

And throw it behind me and try to let it go.. Try to just let all these moments that cause me pain ..get out of my head ,, out of my system .. And just move on

 

I just feel so numb..

I cant seem to feel a thing ..

Cant feel Love nor Hatred ..

All I feel is ..

N O T H I N G ..

and this feeling is whats making me feel so lost ..

I feel so dead .. I cant feel the "Life" I had in me ..

I feel that its gone .. that its hidden under layers and layers ... and covered with the dust of the past..

that i cant seem to get rid of ..

I feel like I am standing in one place and not being able to move...

its like I am paralyzed ..

i keep trying to make baby steps ..

but I fail ..

 

 

I am not perfect..

no one is ..

and as much as there is pain inside of me ..

I believe that I have the strength to get back up and walk again..

I also know that my heart needs help from me to heal ..

and I will do all I can..

I always try to listen to that inner voice i have inside of me ..

get back up ..

and gather your strenght together ..

and start walking again ..

try to have faith , have hope , you wont fall .. no matter what ..

 

I will hold on ..

I will look for the strenght inside of me ..

cause what doesn't kill me makes me stronger .. right ?

 

I will have faith .. and hope ..

that one day ..

on a specific time and date ..

you will walk into my life ..

and just erase everything ..

and make my life a story worth telling ..

I don't know you  ..

nor I know who you are or what your name is ..

your a stranger to me ..

a stranger ..

that one day ..

will make my Rainy days special ..

and make a feeling of comfort in the rain, one that lovers only know...so we lay hand in hand while the water rose ..

 

I finally have to say ..that..

There's a lesson in the rain that change will always come ...

Reviews

[Ekai Stone]

"i didn't want to stop to see a flash of the past play itself in front of me.. i felt so afraid.. like something was haunting me.. running after (chasing) me.. yet i look back.. nothing.. ". How do you think that first line there flows compared to the original? i think this flows nicely.

[Sasha]

Pretty good :)

Thanks :)

[Sheila Kline]

It is all an interesting read, but the ending is particularly grabbing!! We must have hope!!

[Sasha]

Thank you ! Indeed ! :)

[MsJewel]

Heartfelt and sad, you have expressed emotions that aren't easily described and yet you painted a perfect picture, painful though it is. I really like the secnd part of the poem where hope is found. Great writing. I enjoyed this very much. :) Julie

[Sasha]

Thanks Julie! Appreciate it ! =)
Glad you liked it !

[Aethereal]

Every relationship is a two way street. This "stranger" who you don't know yet won't be attracted to you unless you provide a feeling of comfort in return. You must be as dynamic as the stranger whom you're attracting. You and this stranger must have the ability to produce a symbiotic relationship. You'll attract this stranger only if you're not lacking. You and the stranger must walk into each other's lives by way of a force of attraction. Why does a bee and a flower attract each other? A flower that's wilted cuz she's lonely won't attract a bee, but a smiling and confident flower will.

[Sami Khalil]

"I am not perfect..

no one is ..

and as much as there is pain inside of me ..

I believe that I have the strength to get back up and walk again..

I also know that my heart needs help from me to heal ..

and I will do all I can..

I always try to listen to that inner voice i have inside of me .."
A very nice poem. I like those lines the best...:)

[Sasha]

Thanks Sami ! =D

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)