Mystified

just when I thought that hope found its way back to me ..

just when I thought that its finally time to move on and look ahead ..

just when I thought that my prayers were answered ..

and I no longer have to feel alone anymore ..

that my dark nights are over ..

those sleepless nights when I just wait for you to show up ..

when I hear a voice in my head that says .. your pain will heal one special day ..

I started to get my strength back again ..

and as you came along ..I wasn't sure if I was happy or numb ..

I felt a small amount of joy .. but my heart didn't feel a thing ..

your presence brought me happiness ..

I wanted to tell my heart to open itself and start to feel something .. something called emotion ..

but nothing ..

nothing at all ..

You came along , and I wanted to convince myself to let go of the past ..

and just focus on the fact that you are here .. right in front of me ..

you looked into my eyes ..and for a second I felt something ..

as if you looked into my soul ..

we sat that day .. and talked for hours , laughed and talked about everything ..

how I opened up to you ..

as If I knew you for ages ..

I don't know how I felt , but it was a good feeling ..

but I wasn't dancing with that brown skirt I wore for you ..

I went home .. took it off and looked into the mirror ..

whats wrong with me?? why don't I feel a thing ??

I thought that after I see you ..

I would want to run away with you ..

and leave everything behind ..

but no ..

I didn't feel a thing ..

you didn't call after that ..

or even send a text ..

you left me with nothing at all ..how could you ?!!? 

and now .. I feel so lost ..

I feel that I lost you ..

but how can I lose something that I never had ?

I feel that I am never going to see you again ..

did I push you away ??

did I say something wrong ??

I don't know what on earth  happened ..cause I am sure I didn't do a thing !

but every time I enter my car and put a song on ..

tears come to my eyes ..

but they don't come down ..

as if they don't know if they should cry from sadness ..

or just tolerate the pain ..

you cant just walk away and leave me with nothing !
you cant just leave me hanging waiting for your call ..
that's so unfair ..
I gave you all my trust .. and this is what you do ?
I am so thankful that my heart didn't feel a thing for you !

I sit here on my couch ..

imagining how things would have been if I was with you now..

but ..

I need to stop ..

and move on ..

its what my heart is getting used to now ..

getting hurt , healing , moving on ..

until that time comes ..when I meet that special someone ..

my heart will feel nothing at all ..

cover itself with layers ..

Until that someone comes along ..and it will reveal everything..

and take off every single layer ..

and hold them inside ..

forever ..

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

There are a lot of really great lines in this piece...you have a good handle on clever wordplay and your phrasing is nicely done. I think that if I were to suggest anything it would be to cut things down a bit--you tend to get a little wordy in terms of line length and the overall length of the piece. Also, a little more tangible imagery would ramp up the overall emotion. In the end, you have a piece with strong bones, just needs a little molding. Keep it up!

[Sasha]

Thanks Sarah ! I will work on that :)