Speechless

Speechless 

I felt...

My emotions aren't there anymore...

I guess my heart went into a frozen phase...  or it actually stopped beating...

No words...  

It's like my mouth was paralyzed and couldn't bear to say a word...

I was tired physically and mentally...                 

My legs couldn’t even carry me anymore...

I could barely get up in the morning, get in the shower to erase some pain away, but nothing was gone...

It was all glued to my body and buried under my skin...

Wear any pair of jeans and a shirt and just head out of the house...

Get in my car, turn on the radio, and there goes my heart telling me to stop...

That it cannot tolerate any kind of pain or disappointments...

 

My tears started to fall down...

What's happening??

Why am I on this road alone??

My heart started to beat slowly and I could barely breathe...

I pulled over, looked at my shirt...

There it was... blood all over my shirt...

My heart was crying from the pain...

I pressed upon my chest to stop the bleeding...but no use...

I put my head on the steering wheel and started to scream your name...

Where are you??? Where are you to save my heart from bleeding???

 

 

I waited and waited... I was losing my voice, my blood and control

I stepped out of the car...

Started to walk, and blood was dripping behind me leaving a path...

A path of pain, of losing hope...

The sound of the wind crashes through my ears...

I started to run...

And look around me...

For a shadow of you...

For the sound of your voice...

For a memory...

For footsteps to follow...

My body was losing too much blood...

I started to slow down...

Laid down on the ground...

I didn't know what to do or where to go, or who to turn to...

I was all alone in this dark lonely place...

You promised me you will come back...

The fact that my heart was holding on to that all this time killed it...

 

It was like a bullet to my head...

To my heart...

I lay down...

Couldn’t move a single muscle...

Started to cry...

Where are you??

Where have you been all this time??

I need you...

Need your name to carve on my body...

And your smell to nourish me...

And your hands to fill in the spaces between my fingers...

The sound of you calling my name to nurture my ears...

I need all of you and nothing but you...

 

 

I thought I could survive...

I thought that I can make it...

But I was mistaken all this time...

I need you...

I ask for you in every single prayer...

I pray for you every single night...

And I want to wake up one day...

And just find you here... by my side...

 

I stayed there on the ground...

Lying down...

Smoked my last cigarette...

Closed my eyes...

And slept...

Hoping some of my pain will heal when I wake up

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

A beautiful, dark, melancholy music flows through your brilliant words... that longing to find the one to bring the sunlight once more to your soul... I can relate too well to that yearning...

[Sasha]

Thanks Craig !