Walk

 

I was walking arm in arm 

with you 

in my dreams that night 

The darkness stretched 

before us 

As nightfall in winter 

Comes with a lonely star 

And we heard the silver waves 

Rippling through the arches 

of the broken bridge 

And we felt like lives 

Left us behind long ago 

Rippled by 

so quickly

Reviews

[Chris]

Such a soft and melancholy dream...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this reminds me of my first love...high school sweetheart...we were so young then...too young i guess....there are mostly just good memories...but we both moved on in different directions...saw her a few years ago...some of the feelings remain on both sides i believe...

but we crossed that bridge, it broke, and we can never cross back.

i like the concise writing style you have...and how there is enough abstractness that the reader can relate on his or her own terms with what you pen.

[Criss ;)]

A poem comes from your heart, comes from reality..........you know what, this's really a nice write, i liked your this piece....here you've dropped i think your heart, what you were feeling last night, what you were dreamin' about someone last night in your dreams you just dig that......

nice write, you know what i liked this stanza
nightfall in winter
Comes with a lonely star
And we heard the silver waves
Rippling through the arches
of the broken bridge ......nice write, it's great thought, great n deep words b yyou....

have a nice writin',
great write,
have this 96.9/100 :)
take care....!!

[TLK]

This is a very evocative series of pearls -- walking, darkness, sound of the waves, feeling of reminiscence.

The only lines that stick out for me are "As nightfall in winter / Comes with a lonely star" -- I can't make sense of it as a sentence on its own (seems like an incomplete fragment) or as linked in with the sentences before or after.

However, apart from that slight confusion, the whole rippled for me as smoothly as the dream, the walk, and the water itself in your poem. Mirroring the way time glides past, too important to talk to us.