Tomorrow morning

Tomorrow morning

A Poem by sasha



Tomorrow morning you’ll enjoy the quiet 

The sun will rise and gently shine on you 

The leaves will shade into orange and violet 

The grass will wait for you to collect the dew 


Tomorrow morning you will find a bowl 

Just on the front porch outside your door 

A little part of someone's loving soul 

The small dish full of rose petals nothing more

© 2013 sasha


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There is a small error of omission in the line "The grass will wait for you collect the dew" I believe you forgot the word, 'to' after "you". The only other small, critique I have is the repetitive use of "The" in the first part. It doesn't take away from the wonderful imagery that you display, or the overall message of the piece. I realize, you may have done this on purpose, I only bring it up, because visually, it just seems odd. If this was written to me as a letter, from a secret admirer, I would definitely be intrigued and expectant.

Posted 11 Years Ago


TLK, Raven, thank you very much..

Tomorrow I will be here..



Posted 11 Years Ago


With my twisted mind for some reason I suspected there to be a heart in the bowl or something, haha.
Anyways very nice, pleasant, gentle, I enjoyed this.
Good imagery.

Posted 11 Years Ago


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TLK
Quiet, gently, shade, wait... these words set up a seasonal lull for a person to dip into, like the centre of a hammock. On its own, this would be beautiful, but what you follow it up with is a sensation of anonymous devotion -- a real gift that would make you feel like rolling around in the shaded leaves with happiness.

A splendid example of a moment which any reader should be able to wish was theirs. I like this so much I'm inviting my friends to read it -- I hope you get some good comments out of this.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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447 Views
14 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on May 12, 2013
Last Updated on May 13, 2013

Author

sasha
sasha

Munich, city centre, Germany



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