Orange

Chapter 3: Orange

The loud melodic music began to fade, as did Rowan’s wild dancing. The dancing had tired him out a good deal. He wiped off some sweat from his forehead and collapsed onto the ground. A wisp of willow tree leaves tickled his head. He let out a giggle for a brief moment and adjusted his head out of the way.

His eyelids drooped.

The green meadow looked blurry. Fencer panted beside him.

Then he noticed something.

“Uhhh… May?” he called.

Fencer stared at him wide-eyed.

“Maylin??”

No answer. Her glistening black hair was nowhere in sight.

“Oh no.” Fear rushed through his nerves. How could he have let his best friend disappear?

He thought perhaps she went to her house, though he couldn’t figure out why.

“Oh well, I don’t know where else she could be,” he muttered to himself. “Come on, Minty. Let’s go find your girl.” Minty whinnied, Fencer barked, and they both followed his lead.

His pace was fast. His ragged jeans brushed against the tall grass and yellow gorse bush. A multitude of honeybees parted to make way for his urgent presence.

Ten minutes had past and he was almost to her house when he noticed his younger brother, Hawthorn, playing with his white shaggy goat, Tremor.

“Hey Thorn, did you see Maylin going this way just now?” Rowan asked.

“Yeah, she was running in the direction of her house,” Hawthorn said. “She looked really scared.” He paused. “But when I asked what was wrong, she didn’t say anything. I thought maybe you were playing hide n’ seek or something.” He shrugged his shoulders, his red-orange hair swaying in the light coastal breeze.

Hawthorn was only fourteen- three years younger than him- but he was smart and intuitive. Rowan could tell by the worried look in his crystal blue eyes that Maylin’s terror had seemed serious.

He sighed. “Come with me, Thorn. We need to find her.” He looked on towards the east. “Something’s not right.”

Hawthorn nodded and said bye to Tremor before meeting up with his brother.

Along the grassy meadow, they picked up their pace. Minty and Fencer trotted along, happily oblivious. Rowan quietly buried himself in frantic thoughts.

“Don’t worry, Rowan. You know girls. They can be… complicated.” Hawthorn said. “Especially Maylin.”

Rowan smiled a little. “Yeah.” He looked down. “I kind of forgot that she was tripping on those orange mushrooms again. And I…” he paused, ashamed.

Hawthorn looked at Rowan in shock. “Your music came back??”

“Yeah,” Rowan muttered. “I don’t know why! You know I can’t control it,” he stammered defensively. His voice grew sad. “This was the first time she had seen it happen.”

“Maybe that’s what scared her,” Hawthorn said.

“Perhaps,” Rowan said. “This time it was german rock.”

Hawthorn let out a big hearty laugh. “Ha! At least it was good music this time! Not-“

Rowan quickly put a hand over his brother’s mouth. “Someone might be listening!"

“Who would be listening, the animals?” Hawthorn said, mumbling through Rowan’s hand. They laughed.

Rowan sighed. “She probably just had a really bad trip and needed to be home.”

Hawthorn looked at the ground, his sunset hair falling on his face.

“Yeah.”

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

You did a good job transitioning to the inner experience of each character to the movement of the story, and introduction of a new character. Good job with the dialogue too, filling in a little more detail, building the characters and their relationships- good job!

[cbritto6]

This chapter was different, not as much imagery and more action. Which is good! A change of pace keeps the reader guessing.
This line here "His pace was fast" could be taken out. It's an example of telling not showing, and the paragraph would start quicker.
Also what's this word, "dumbie"?
But thats all nit picking haha good chapter!

[Coyote Poetry]

A short chapter. I liked her decision to move on. I like the use of music. Making the story have mystery and question. Thank you for sharing the excellent chapter Taylor.
Coyote