Grey

Chapter 2: Grey

Maylin awoke to Rowan violently head banging. His wild brown hair whipped back and forth like fire.

“What on earth-“

“The music won’t leave! The music won’t leave!” Rowan cried.

“What music?!”

“You don’t hear it?!”

“No!!”

Suddenly Rowan stood up and danced. His fingers danced in the air to an imaginary guitar. His lips moved to lyrics she could not hear. All Maylin could hear was the gentle wind and the chirping of some birds.

Maylin giggled at him. “I wish I could hear what you hear!” She slumped. “No fair.”

“Yeah, be jealous, May!” Rowan said, then yelled in his best german accent, “Alles ist Silber wie ein ziemlich Mond, tauchen sie in das Universum…”

They shared a moment of laughter.

All of a sudden, everything was grey in Maylin’s eyes. The grass was grey. The horses and cows were grey. Fencer, grey. Maylin grew frightened. She stood up, desperately looking for a hint of color. The grey grass swayed in the breeze where she stood, but she could not feel the wind herself. Everything felt dead.

When she attempted to say something, nothing came out of her mouth. She tried again and again to scream, but everything was silent. Her heart pounded in fear.

Fencer ran up to her, his grey tail wagging and his grey tongue flapping out of his mouth. He looked like he was smiling at her, almost laughing at her.

Rowan danced his way toward her. He didn’t seem to notice what was happening to her. He was still lip syncing and head banging to the music she could not hear.

Just for a second, there was a crack of noise.

“Quahhhh!”

Upon hearing the weird sound, Maylin ran. She did not know where it had come from, but it had to have been the scariest sound she had ever heard. It sounded almost like a screaming duck with its eyes being ripped out. At that moment, she did not dare look at the duck pond.

She ran towards her house to the east, leaving Rowan dancing near the willow tree. She thought perhaps it was just a relapse and despite these hallucinations she and Rowan were still laying down together. And yet, everything felt so real and terrifying. She did not feel any cold wind on her face as she ran.

All of a sudden there was a color. A blue arch above the eastern hill; it looked like it was drawn with a crayon. A blue rainbow. Somehow it actually made sense. That was it - everything else was still grey.

She was almost at her house now. She ran and ran through the endless fields of grass in the dreaded silence that overcame her. She was so scared of hearing that sound again.

What she saw when she got closer to her house was surprising. Her house was not her house, but instead a cave. She wondered where her house went. She was worried it was gone forever. She thought maybe if she ventured into the cave, there would be clues to its whereabouts. Just like the blue rainbow, things were beginning to make a little sense.

Maylin went inside the cave.

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

Great follow-up to the first chapter- loved the different experiences of the two characters,mso vividly described I could see each detail. I'm interested to see what's in the cave. I love the image of everything turning grey- you captured this experience wonderfully, along with the fright that followed. . . Need to read on now . . .

[cbritto6]

I liked this chapter a lot. The imagery and how it went from fun and upbeat to eerie and off putting.

The one part I think needs an adjustment, which isn't much, is "What she saw when she got closer to her house was surprising." It's an example of telling not showing. You could probably lose the sentence all together, and the paragraph would start with a weird image and have a greater effect.

Nice job!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very interesting chapter. You are create strange situation and a new place. I liked her thoughts above the cave. Her want to know more. Thank you Taylor for sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote