Ruined

These f*****g thoughts circle around in my head.

Why did you do that to me?

You were supposed to protect me.

That's what brothers do.

How could you do that?

Stripped me of my damn innocence.

I wish to God you would f*****g die.

You don't deserve the air in your lungs.

No, not the beating of your heart.

What heart?

You made me vulnerable.

I was never meant to be this way.

Worthless.

Scared to death.

All because of you.

Son of a b***h, I can't even think straight.

You made me numb to the touch.

My blade soothes me.

Makes me feel alive again.

Cutting deeper and deeper into my skin.

If I was insane enough, I'd do it.

I'd go through with it.

Because it hurts me more to see your face everyday.

And your hands.

The ones that touched me.

You're sick in the head,

And now I'm even more damaged.

The f*****g nerve you have to look me in the eye.

I will never be able to feel hands on me again.

Not without the thought of you.

I'm ruined.

Reviews

[Ashwin Shanker]

This poetry came awfully close to the furst one I would have shared.

However, When I started reading it, it came like a slap on the face, followed by shouting with tears flowing down the face.

My blade soothes me.
Makes me feel alive again.
Cutting deeper and deeper into my skin.

This lines really had me wowed. I mean, I hate it when women/men hurt themselves physically to compensate for their emotional turmoil. True that emotions can at times be unbearable, but then again the mind is like the sky, It is clouded sometimes, sometimes it is sunny too.

Damn expressive, impactful.

[Sarah]

Thank you so much for the review. Glad you enjoyed the words!

[Troy Henson]

Powerful, chilling and motivated by the wrong doings of someone close, someone that should have been trusted. This made my hair stand on end, I felt every line.

[Chip Murison]

Wow. Really powerful stuff Sarah. Excellent poem. Totally knocked me off my feet.

[Nonalisa]

This is a great piece, Sarah. The details, imagery, and the way you wrote it, all allowed for the emotions that you've described to come to life in my mind. I also appreciate that this piece is genuine.

Thanks a lot for sharing it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard, direct and powerful thoughts. I liked the anger and the feel of true life in the poetry. Mistreatment and lies can turn us colder. Thank you Sarah for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Wow just wow that's all I could think while reading this.
Wow because if this is about your brother and he did what I think he did that's fucked up.
Wow because of how much of a brilliant talented writer you are.
Another wow because well I couldn't believe some of the things I was reading.
If you need anyone to talk to ever I am just a message away.
This poem is really deep and filled with tons of emotion.
This really is so personal, You are really strong to be so honest and real and just put everything your feeling on here for everyone to see. I admire that. I to am extremely honest and open, I write from my heart as well.
I love your poetry you really are quite talented

[Sarah]

Thank you so much. Writing from the heart is the easiest to write about for me. Always been that way.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your welcome.
I understand its the way i write as well.

[Stretched_Strings]

I am amazed by the build of the raw emotion you entangle here. The way you seem to start off bewildered and continue on to hurt and anger you seem to be shouting from a closed room. The only confusion I have is the beat, the piece seems more of a monolog, is this how you intended it?

[Sarah]

Sort of. These "poems" were really just little writings I wrote down when I was feeling upset. They weren't intended to be poems at all, but I just broke them up in that format.

[Wolf_Lord]

They say "That which does not kill us makes us stonger." Bullshit... It may be true in the long run if... if we are able to change our perspective. When you have been a victim, it is not an easy journey... It starts with a single step... This poem is that step... Now, mind you, I am assuming that this has a base in reality. If not your own, then that of a friend or companion. If it is a totally fictional piece however, then I must compliment you on your empathy and perception... Either way, to put yourself in another persons shoes and pull off their point of view is the mark of a great author. Kudos either way... Keep it up.
Wolf ,'', ^@@^ ,'',

[Sarah]

This is a personal piece, and I want to thank you for reading my work! Much appreciated!

[Stephen LaPrad]

Wow, that's some really powerful writing. You can feel the negative energy flowing out of the words. I personally can't relate, but wow you can just feel the pain.

[Chris]

Words are often the ONLY voice a person has - a way to deal... if this was "Memorex" ...you're really good at pinning down the emotional overload and awareness of "cutting". I look forward to more of your ...voice and thoughts.

[William A. Wilson]

I apologize for saying this one word, but "Umm..."
I love the poem but also not. The "not" part of it would be due to the fact that this poem was solely created because of the brother who is such a (pick up a random dictionary and a thesaurus and call him every foul name that one could be called from within those two books). I'm not even sure what to say, I love the poem, hate the brother, like the writing, despise the brother some more, not sure if this was a real life event and if it is, then I want to say kind words though nothing could express how strong I feel for you. However, if it is not real, then those words are unchanged. I cannot think of them (a little bit deprived of sleep tonight due to traveling) but I guess I could say: move away. Not all men are like that. He is every foul word in existence. Stay strong. Keep moving forward no matter what. In addition, for the love of god... keep writing. 100/100 for this. Sorry for kind of going a bit too far with this, I am just a passionate person who likes to type, write, and care.

[Sarah]

I really appreciate your words, and yes this is true. I have struggled with depression over the years, but I can say that I'm getting better each day and moving on.