kenopsia

The haunting emotional aftermath.

n. the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that’s usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet"a school hallway in the evening, an unlit office on a weekend, vacant fairgrounds"an emotional afterimage that makes it seem not just empty but hyper-empty, with a total population in the negative, who are so conspicuously absent they glow like neon signs.

         My heart seems to slow whenever I walk those streets, as if my heart has to compensate for the loss it has gained. It seems as though my body has to calm itself, become passive to allow your memories to take full effect.  Words still linger within the corners of the streets; they take shelter in the wood of the bench we once sat upon. If I listen close enough, I can hear your voice trickle throughout the silence. Your laugh seems to haunt me, always catching me off guard when my heart isn’t prepared to relish in the memories. I can feel your breath tickle my chilled skin as I walk through the dew painted grass. Every year, the fair returns and the booths and rides cover up our existence, quieting our words of adoration. Though, night eventually beckons, the rides are closed for the night, and our memories unfold as if we were formerly experiencing them just we did that night. It’s as though our footsteps fall in sync and our words begin to fall out of our mouths, dripping from our lips as if we can’t talk fast enough before our time is up.  If I stand in that now-empty spot while the sun rises, I can feel your arms enclose around my body once again. I can feel your reassurance seeping into my body, warming me more than the sun rise could ever accomplish. As quick as your memory can fulfill me, a voice of a person still drunk of slumber awakens the grounds, and your peaceful presence is hushed. You’re gone, but you’ll always be here.

Reviews

[Bill]

I tend to avoid pieces like this. I've got enough pain and tragedy to deal with, the last thing I need is somebody else bringing me down! But, I saw your intriguing title, which I clicked on, and your piece was so short I had to read it. As expected, yep, it brought me down. ; ) But it's sooo good. Really good. Now, capture this incredible emotion, use your obvious gift for language, and write a full-blown story!

[Saranda]

Ah, thank you so much! I appreciate it very much. I'm trying to develop a story somewhere within my mind, but I'm having troubles with it. I have been working on character development prompts. Though, if you ever have any advice on how to initiate a story and develop the plot, let me know! I

[Bill]

I'm a fiction snob. It's really, really hard to write a story. I think that's why most people write poetry... it's so much easier just to spew vague metaphors and and emotions and imagery onto a page, without having to worry about making them cohere, without creating a larger framework beyond the theme. I'm sure this would be a HUGELY unpopular opinion for most people on this site, but I'll take the heat! After all, just because I believe that, doesn't mean I don't still respect poets and poetry. I just respect fiction writers more. ; ) Hehehe.

I'm not sure it's possible to suggest how to initiate a story and develop a plot! It requires one tiny kernel of inspiration that requires no effort at all, and then a whole lot of effort thereafter. But here's the most basic advice I can give you, in two parts:

Part 1: this comes from a screenwriting book, called "Save the Cat." I never read it, but the basic point is this: a story begins with a PROBLEM: a cat is stuck in a tree. Your job as a storyteller is to find a creative way to get the cat down from the tree. This problem doesn't have to be action-related. It can be an emotional problem, and in fact the most powerful fiction obviously involves emotional problems. So, you need to have a character who has a problem. The rest of the story details how that problem gets solved, or how and why it doesn't get solved. In a movie, you have to get that cat down from the tree! In a short story, the cat can stay stuck at the end.

Part 2: You obviously have strong personal experiences to draw on. Use them! I suggest starting off with a character that is very similar to you, but not quite you. Put that character into a situation that is very similar to a situation you have experienced, but not quite the same. This way, you don't have to imagine some totally original plot taking place in some imaginary fairyland. You've already got most of your plot in your own life experience.

Once you get comfortable with characters that you relate to and plots that are similar to things you've experienced, you will find that you can start creating plausible characters that you don't relate to, and you'll find that you can start imagining situations that you've never experienced.

Anyhoo... good luck!

[Saranda]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This actually helped a ton. :) Thanks for taking time to reply!