Broken

I had been broken

Like an antique vase that had crashed to the floor

I was unresponsive

Like a heart that refused to spark a beat

The problem was that I desired to feel something so desperately

Yet when it came down to it I felt nothing

 

Until you came along

With your unforgettable laughter and endearing smile

Your gentle green eyes captivating my very soul

The way you gently held the pieces of my heart in your hands

The warmth I felt when you held me close putting me back together again

The feeling of electricity when we made love

You had captured my heart

An impossible task for many who had tried

 

For once I felt as if I were human again

You had restored my passion and gained my dedication

Our love was like a fire burning with an intensity that I never imagined

And for once I could feel again and I worshiped you

 

But as quickly as you came you were gone

Agony once again filled my soul

Tears rolled down and burn my cheeks

The pain; nearly comforting

You had so savagely thrown the pieces of my heart in my face

Emptiness flooded my very being

I once again felt nothing

 

My heart still longs for what we had and depression floods my mind

You were once the lover of my soul

So flawless so alluring

You destroyed me 

I refuse to pick up the pieces

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The facets of a relationship...each in its own make-up...its when you release it and find it again is harder to fathom...yet its the errors for which we learn -- make us stronger --- when the next one avails us the opportunity...finding the one is the hardest chapter...the rest -- we accept and take as a challenge that its not what was in store of us...but we walk with all our pieces --- down the road of life and accept we will find the one...giving in..then we truly fall apart for good...

[Sarah]

I completely agree. I think that we try so hard to find the one, that we end up hurting ourselves. Thank you for your beautiful words!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

you're welcome...

[Steve L.]

Really powerful and heart wrenching...sometimes I just want to live like a hermit in a remote cabin in Montana...

[DJ]

Above all,the heart is a muscle,unused it atrophies;when overused,it becomes tough and hard.
thanks for sharing this eloquent piece.

[Jamie R. Robillard Sr.]

I can certainly relate to this poem. It is very emotional to me.

I would review it for scansion issues though. Though it is possible to write with no form at all. I do not think that was what you intended? And I am not saying it lacks any form I am just saying the scansion needs attention.

I hope this has been useful and that it was received in the way it was written. I do love this poem though, thanks for sharing.

[Sarah]

Your feedback is extremely helpful. I am so glad that you can relate, and am very happy that you liked it. Thank you!

[Trace]

Very powerful write of the pleasures and pains of a relationship.

One of the many things I have learned in my life is:
No matter how good you thought it was...
It wasn't as good as it gets.

When you find the one that loves you as much as you love them.
Your joy will multiply ten fold.

Enjoyed the passion expressed.

Trace

[Sarah]

Thank you. I truly hope i do find someone who loves me as much as i do them.

[Trace]

Remember this:
A relationship is not 50/50
It must be 100/100...... you give 100 percent
And your partner must give 100 percent.

Then it is give and give.... not give and take.

Then you both are complete at all times together.

If you give 100 % and you only get 50% pretty soon you are empty and can give no more
And the person not giving an equal amount has taken everything you had.

Then they go looking for someone else to take from.

Find someone that wants to give as much as you do.

[Sarah]

Perfect, thank you!!!

[Enayet1999]

Great poem, well done! i LOVED IT!

[Sarah]

I'm so happy that you enjoyed the read, thank you for the feedback! (:

[Enayet1999]

it's ok;) No worrirs

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

I've been dealing with depression or a few years, and it isn't easy. This piece really captures what you love, what you want to seek, and all of that is taken away in matter of seconds. You really capture your emotions well in your poems.

[Sarah]

Thank you very much! I definitely try to instill my true emotions when I write. I feel that sometimes exposing your demons can bring a kind of healing. Thank you!