The Silence

Let it speak for itself if I am to be understood. This was the first poem I ever wrote.

The Silence

The silent voice you wanted dead
Has started to resound in my head
The thoughts and feelings you’ve let go
I just have no idea how to show
Many methods I have tried
To take away the pain inside
How does love turn so cold
and rust and burn when it should be gold?

We shared our faith, we played a game
But when the time of telling came
We turned our backs on our God
We shut him out in blinded shame
When we should have called upon his name

I talked to you and let you in
And all it did was caused sin
The bond of love was not so tight
When we let go of the thread of light
In the darkness we became
And would never again be the same

My poison rooted deep within
No antidote to cleanse my skin
No freedom for me to share
No solace when I laid myself bare
The tears I cried so many times
Could never tell you of the crimes

We sung and praised the God of love
But behind our doors we gave Him a shove
The prayers were gone and distant now
But somehow we tried to cling onto our vows
Our love was faulty; although real
We had broken the heavenly seal

Oh Lord of life, to you I now pour
My feelings out in a sort of roar
I couldn’t see then what I see now
But still, I don’t want to let go of that vow
Is it too late, Lord, to let you in?
Was it too long before I saw my sin.

The blade became a friend of mine
But you, oh Lord, are the vine
I watched the blood, I felt the release
But I should have been seeking the Prince of Peace
We didn’t hear you talking Lord
We shut it out and pretended we were bored
Ourselves we seeked and got it wrong
For in our weakness you are strong

I thought the bond of love was still there
I clung onto hope that there were moments still to share
I didn’t see so clearly then
The choice I made again and again
In my frightened misunderstood state
I thought that I could tempt my fate

Such pain and grief I could have saved
If I just talked to my God and prayed
Instead I fought to save what was around
And I didn’t listen to the distant sound
My Lord I shut out of my life
And I tried to concentrate on being a wife

We played the parts
And tried to mend our hearts
But broken were we, in so many ways
and witnessed many desperate days
Torn so far apart by grief and shame
Alone we had no way of ever wining the game