Butterflies

Butterflies,

They come and go;

No one sees them,

So no one knows.

When you're near, they start to flutter

And when they fly, my heart does sputter.

I love them enough to let them fly

But the day they leave, is the day I'll cry

And if I'd cried until today

Would they love me enough to stay?

I cannot say they will not leave, 

but if they do my heart will grieve

and if I grieve, will You stay? 

To wash this terrible grief away.

You did not stay, and so I cried

Today's the day,

I watched them die.

My butterflies?

They came and went.

Because of You,

My love is spent.

I thought our love was never ending,

but then you set them free. 

From now on, We'll be gone forever.

My butterflies

and Me.

Author's Note

Its kind of rough but I wrote it for a contest and never had the confidence to submit it. Let me know what you think, I'd love feedback.

Reviews

[Sujash I. Purna]

I don't see any reason why this piece of work you hid under the bush when this could be at least in the front row in a contest...this is a neat one...I liked the simpleness like a jolly tone singing a sad song...you don't cry your heart out in your work not at least in this poem and there is no somberness which is good for a reader who is happened to be just checking out new works by new ones...

[Laura Maidah]

It's aesthetically brilliant. I had issues with some of your capitalization, but that's a marginal error. You are no beginner.

[Enar]

i love the part...
"You did not stay, and so I cried
Today's the day,
I watched them die."
it was good,
yeah!

[Celestial Witch Child]

It's simple, but very emotional. I like it. I especially give you props for choosing a rhyme scheme- I know that gets quite difficult. Great piece. (:

[Wolf]

I don't see why you didn't had the confidence to submit it...It's very beautiful and I'm sure that it remembers everybody about the feeling they felt when they first fell in love...Well...at least it reminds me :)
Beautiful poem!
Keep up the great work!

[marytownsend]

Beautiful poem and imagery! There's a touch of sadness in the ending but it ties the story together well! keep writing!

[Mysteriousmaniac]

I don't know if this is the first poem you've ever written, but it is nice.
It is a little rough yes and it could use a little more flow, but I think that will come with simply writing more poems so keep up the good work. :)

[Btwixer]

This is wonderful, love the imagery

[Katrina Mckeown]

beautifully written...love your imagery...butterflies... Kudo's

Lovely the way you capture so much emotion in this piece of perfect poetry!

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Thats so sweet :)