Eyes Spiraling Lies

My drug addiction story

I'm ashamed mom, I'm ashamed

 I can't look in the mirror again, 

If only you knew where my body has been, 

Where has it been 

Are you uncomfortable now? 

Do you shiver when my arm reaches out 

  "Mother I, Mother I"-

  I can't even spit out goodbye

This face hasn't been touched lovingly In so long

  I forget what kindness feels against my skin 

So warm I feel like I could crawl inside and cry 

And cry While I heal inside 

 But these visions fade my mind 

  I wake up every time. 

 

F**k it. I didn't die. Not this time. 

Either ketamine or coke

 I put it straight in my brain 

Again again

 

I said do it again. 

Till I'm bleeding, till I'm lame 

Until my nostrils burn in pain 

 Look at me, feeling pity, 

 Well I'm the reason I feel this s****y 

Full of electricity, 

bouncing off the f*****g ceiling 

Tweaking, i'm geeking,

 Throwing up methamphetamine. 

  Why all this commotion? 

 You took the f*****g potion, 

You're the swimmer in your ocean 

Said the prayer to your devotion, 

  You're dirty and rotting 

Hammering nails into coffins 

So pale and so exhausted 

Show up to work and forgot to clock in 

They sent you home because you lost it 

 Mother, 

 Every time I reach out to the light 

Turns it's back on me in spite 

 Mom it's 8'oclock at night 

your child is overdosing-

 

Sleep tight.

Author's Note

2 months sober off meth, cocaine, and crack

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

these are words that many fear to write...either because of the possible reactions or perhaps because they are too difficult to write.
At any rate, this poem is reminiscent of the letters that Sylvia Plath used to write to her mother.
Glad you are back around Sarah...
j.

[LazerRays]

Thank you for those kind words. I'm around here and there. How have you been lately