On Suicide and Meds

I once wanted to die

There was a time 

 Where I wanted nothing more 

 Than to die 

 Like twin towers hit the ground 

 Scream but don't make a sound 

 Blame me, degrade me,

 Trapped in the chains and caged me, 

Suicide pact a sin 

Could you shame me? 

I was born a villain- 

 No need to name me 

 But once you're up high 

 Smoking life all surprised 

 Doctor says somethings not right 

 Now I'm weighed and betrayed 

 By my mind, now I'm slayed 

 The inside goes calm 

At the pill in your palm 

 On suicide and meds I wish I were dead

Author's Note

Recently got medications for my head and I learned there's no shame in needing them. I used to feel like taking them would admit that I needed help. But I can see a whole difference now. I feel more alive. Theres no want to die :)

Reviews

[Relic]

If they're helping than all the better to take them. I had a friend that killed himself. It wasn't good for his family or friends. It's not good for anyone.

[John the Baptist]

Having worked for 27 years in the mental health field, I find these lines familiar. The speaker comes across as one who suffers from severe depression, the result of which has been a suicide attempt. Verse two seems to speak of a hospitalization and a feeling of persecution and possibly of shame. Low self esteem is hinted at in the following verse, as well as a history of substance abuse of some sort. The last verses indicate an acknowledgement of the illness and the effectiveness of the medication. The last line tells us, though, that the depression, while controlled, is still there.

[LazerRays]

Good observation, thanks for the review.

[John the Baptist]

Peace, then?

[LazerRays]

Ofcourse. I was never mad

[Paul Bell]

Glad you're still here to write the story, gives you the chance to help others.
Nothing wrong with being vulnerable makes you human.

[LazerRays]

Thank you so much :)))

[light and ashes]

This is awesome. I am so glad you are feeling better. :) Nice to see you again.

[LazerRays]

Thank you for your review nice to see you around!

[light and ashes]

Thanks!!!!

[Debbie]

Thanks for being vulnerable and showing your strength! We can all learn a lot from you!

[LazerRays]

Thank you very much :)

[barleygirl]

This is an excellent reveal which shows how brutal self-honesty leads to the most compelling writing. Here you've tackled a point (especially your author's note) which I have NEVER seen anyone write about in my 6 years at the cafe, despite reading hundreds of black spills. It's a community service to show people how this looks & feels (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[LazerRays]

Thank you Margie, I'm glad I have something different. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing

[Connie L. Kuntz]

Wow! Powerful poem... I like how you poetically described exactly what i have been feeling inside for YEARS...Keep inspiring others with your truth, it truly inspired me today!

[LazerRays]

Oh I'm glad, thank you for your review. I hope things get Better for you

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Admitting we don't want to die is a good thing. Some say having therapy is something we don't talk about, don't admit because it is too embarrassing...I have had more therapists than I can count...sometimes we just do what we need to do to survive.
j.

[LazerRays]

Very much so, thank you for the review