The Price of Sin

The Price of Sin

A Poem by LazerRays
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A suicide poem

"
I wish I had jumped then...
So at least I would’ve-
If I had the courage
To raise a knife
And not a bottle
In the end I forget who I am
I guess that’s the price to pay
-For my sins

© 2020 LazerRays


Author's Note

LazerRays
Depression and the longing of death. Looking back on suicide attempts, wishing I had that courage to finish it.

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Reviews

This is very self deprecating and masochistic, but I'm glad that you can release these emotions too. It is way better than acting on them.

Posted 4 Years Ago


LazerRays

4 Years Ago

Masochism is one of my best qualities hahaha 😁😁😂 thanks for stopping by!
light and ashes

4 Years Ago

Lol you're welcome
I like that you can release these emotions
keeping things bottled inside is no solution
I think everyone, at one time or other, thinks about suicide but more so the dreamer, who I consider being those more inclined toward the arts
I know of only one heart-broken friend that tried, came close, but couldn't quite pull it of.
Today he is a very happily married guy with a good life
In spite of the varying difficulties we all fact, life is good, so hang on to it because it is a one time only wonderful gift
J the B offers good advise

Posted 4 Years Ago


LazerRays

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind review, sir. It means a lot. We certainly can learn from our attempts
Very interesting poem. It is hard to forgive others sometimes.

Posted 4 Years Ago


LazerRays

4 Years Ago

Even harder to forgive ourselves. Thank you for your review
NotUsinganymore

4 Years Ago

You're welcome! please read one of my newest poems!
before we can be forgiven by others, I think we have to forgive ourselves.
then maybe we won't need the knife or the bottle.
powerful write, Sarah.
j.

Posted 4 Years Ago


LazerRays

4 Years Ago

Thank you Jacob, perhaps I’ll find that way haha.
A lot of darkness in this one. The poem implies alcohol abuse, the note, depression. The two often go together. The last two lines of the poem are disturbing. There is the suggestion that the situation is the price for sins. In my experience in working with depressed people, part of the disease is distorted thinking, wherein all of one's past mistakes are viewed as grave moral failings. This is most often not the case, but the illness makes it seem so. If you are having these feelings, please get help.

Posted 4 Years Ago


LazerRays

4 Years Ago

Yes, I do like my dark poems. I have learned to live with these thoughts all the time so I’m used .. read more

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280 Views
15 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 13, 2020
Last Updated on April 14, 2020
Tags: Regret, suicide, depression

Author

LazerRays
LazerRays

Spit truth, bleed emotion, fight for love, hold to your morals



About
Old username: Sarah_Allen_Poe am a former stimulant addict who has found new life and meaning through psychedelics. I enjoy late night longboarding, cooking, astronomy, DDR, retro video .. more..

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