Judas

Do you like it when I cut?

 I turned the knife on me as well,

 My wrists; they spell profanity, 

But you chained them in your cell,

 Do you like it when I scream?

 I tore my vocal cords to shreds, 

Calling out for God in tears, 

Swallowing each bullet that you fed, 

Did you like it darling, when I hurt? 

Did my back hurt your knife? 

Did it feel good deep inside, 

When you heard I took my life? 

Because I screamed at you, 

And bled for you, 

And tore my soul out all from you, 

 

How could you? 

 You made me hate me,

 Begging for you to save me.... 

 And my fire- is dying....

Reviews

[HadesRising]

Very dark, and I love you're style.

[LazerRays]

Thank you :)))))

[The Immortal Phoenix]

Creepy poem, creepy song. Im sorry now, holy crap this is dark, sorry I'm listening to the song now. It seems to speak to me.

[LazerRays]

thank you so much

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This is a brutal piece where she blames him for her demise as she cuts her way to relief and freedom and revenge it seems.

[LazerRays]

yes yes, true true, thank you for your words here, John :)

[Onlyme]

The brutality and the harsh reality of a relationship gone wrong. But both don't walk away or give up on it. But seem to relish in the darkness and drawing of blood. Like those, it's one-upmanship. Tit for tat game. Mental games like this destroy lives. The destruction that is controlling and sick. But seem to also be a drug they both need and want. A twisted world for twisted people. Trapped in their own twisted minds.

[LazerRays]

yes yes thats exactly that! im glad you could see that Dawn, thank you so much for the review :D

[Einstein Noodle]

wow..blistering caustic relationships ... pain and attraction ,, affliction of ... the remission for .. all there in straight forward words ... V 1 L3 & 4 to me are especially hard hitting ... the image of her willing to give everything ..."wrists" offered then pulled by him into his own cell and chained is such a graphic image ..i can see it ..smell the dank of it ... its an illness ... bred from somewhere i do no know ... closing is poignant as that dim flicker of soul nears being extinguished ... your poem drew me in .. too many people, i imagine, are hooked on this kind of destruction :(((
E.

[LazerRays]

thank you so much Einstein for reading :D

[Paul Bell]

Like the two way script of this, and the bloody ending asking the question.
Are you going to save me or not.
The fire is out, question answered.

[LazerRays]

Thank you paul, I'm glad you noticed that :) it's always a horror to go through betrayal. Thanks for your review and for stopping by :D

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I hope you'll forgive me for mentioning this but I can't resist - this piece reminded me of that song 'Wolves' by Selena Gomez :x
The 'you' here seems like a heartless person, or like you once said, someone who gets pleasure out of hurting or seeing the ones they love get hurt. And I still have trouble accepting someone can be that way. There's got to be a conscience in everyone, right?... or idk, if they like it when you hurt, they don't really love you...
I'm reading too much into this but I'm touched, as always.

[LazerRays]

Interesting, I don't see wolves in this at all.... That's cool how you see it that way :)
And it just means that it was a traumatizing betrayal and leaving a person behind, broken to pieces. If you listen to black dahlia you'll hear the exact tone of this poem. Thank you yumna!

[AllenS]

I like the pointed question. It personalizes the exchanges driving them deep, just in case the perpetrator is to dull or blind to ramifications.

[LazerRays]

Thank you! Ah, I'm sad that your first impression of me was my not good poem X((((((( ah well thank you for stopping by with that lovely review! :D thanks!

[John the Baptist]

You might say this one is something other than Pollyanna. It seems to refer to self mutilation, murder, suicide, blame and self loathing. As if that weren't enough, the author's note states the work was inspired by a song called "Black Dahlia," a legendary Hollywood mutilation and murder story. How Jack the Ripper got left out of this one I cannot say, but I hope the poet will give the old boy some consideration in the future. On the other hand, it was both well rhymed and gripping.

[LazerRays]

Hahahahaha I wl take that into consideration ;)

Yes!!!!! I'm glad you remembered Elizabeth Shorts murder! The song is named for her. Tsk tsk, the case is intriguing! Thank you for stopping by and perhaps I will include jack ;)

[John the Baptist]

Do consider Jack, especially his sense of humor. The boy was a real cutup.

[LazerRays]

Ok will do! :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

so so dark...a voice from beyond to haunt the subject of this poem's venom.
powerful attack on the conscience.
j.

[LazerRays]

Thank you Jacob :) i'm glad you saw it like that