I Said Goodbye to the Sun

I said goodbye to the sun,  

To save her from the night,  

The kind that lurked within my mind,  

To stop me from blacking that light, 

  I watched the sun sink over the horizon,  

Let it leave me in the lonely sky,  

My fingers are freezing from the cold,  

And my heart feels only ice,   

It's just me and this empty space,   

I set the sun free to protect it, 

Better alone than bring her down,  

I had no choice but to neglect it,   

It's funny when you see the sunset,  

You really start feeling alone,  

Let the pitch black swallow you whole,  

Let the pain turn you to stone,   

Like Chaos, like Ouranos, like Atlas, like Hades,  

It hurts; but it's best for the sun to hate me,  

Like Nyx, like Thanatos, like Styx, like Ahklys,  

It's better to die than bring her down with me,   

  

Author's Note

Love, ha.

Reviews

[Perdition]

Hmmm...well I like it but your Author's Note deserves more attention. Most poets, I would argue are insomniacs..that is simply a fact. The muse pushes us pretty hard and when we get to the wall all we can do is wait for the morning to come with its harsh laugh. Early morning dinosaurs tossing around the bins to let us know that we've been up all night! Been years since I've had more than two hours a night. Just the way it works. Or ..you can always read the greats..I hear Bukowski had a good way of dealing..lol .Pretty wonderful verse here and yes I am aware the price of Poe-ism is death since you are a talented poet all I can do is wait and see :) The lonely nights only get colder,
Without that warmth to melt the pain,
Soon my breaths are visible in the air,
And I'm staring to go insane,...etc" Sounds pretty standard for seasonal depression when it meets the grip of our poetic calling. But i do like the way you've expressed it out. You've most definitely earned a voice at a pretty young age..don't waste it!! It's a sincere talent that others would kill to have. Happy Wednesday poet~ Thanks!

[LazerRays]

Thanks! That means a lot to me . Haha- the authors note... Eh. It's just writing a note. Bit thank you for your time and review! Happy wednesday to you too!

[Perdition]

It's Wednesday? How did I know that? I must have gone into a Hump Day Trance or something.Anyway, You're welcome...good words and no one died...what's up with that?? laters!

[LazerRays]

You're right! No one died!!!!! :O

[Perdition]

Well someone somewhere did...sure it wasn't you? a "thinking" emoji cause I can't be bothered :P
read moreWell someone somewhere did...sure it wasn't you? a "thinking" emoji cause I can't be bothered :P

[LazerRays]

hmmmmm.... nope. i think im still alive.... i think.... wait....

[Perdition]

I'll go looking and report back later...you are new to my world of demons and angels I'm sure. May might be a poor little ole poem of mine out there somewhere that needs mouth to mouth exoskeletal wise. Put down the broom and get back to your studies :p

[LazerRays]

hahaha ok :P

[Perdition]

Alright so I went and must report that you are indeed alive..what up there? This poem is on that actually breaks through my surface...that is one hell of a task so congrats. Read it again and got a sense that I was not doing enough or digging deep where the good pain lied..thanks for the inspiration. Now get back to death..somewhere a sun still shines. :p

[Perdition]

*one *lies..that's it..keyboard fired!!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

There is something very unique about this poem. It is the female personification of the sun which is almost always portrayed as masculine! I love it and give you 101 poetic points for your stunning originality and creativity here, in spite of the darkness that covers you at the moment.

You may be gripped by an all consuming pain and the rigours of a biting cold cutting through your body and soul but you done a great job of documenting it vividly and imaginatively. These are hallmarks of a winner Sarah!

[LazerRays]

Thank you for that lovely review dhara! Yeah, I did portray the sun as female haha- it was a bit different for me. And I'm glad that dark tone seeped in because that's what I was going for. I'm so glad you read and appreciate. Thanks again so much!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Since you said it’s autobiographical, I wish you a speedy recovery from the chills. A warm bowl of chicken soup and a soft pillow always helps the soul. Many loving meows! 😺

[LazerRays]

hahahaha. thanks you very much. im actaully in the mood for chicken soup. wanna make me some? ;)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Coming up right away! 😺

[John the Baptist]

The sense of loss hangs heavily over this one. The sun here seems to be symbolic, representing something or someone now lost, the memory of which causes the speaker ongoing pain. There is also a feeling of self loathing, the belief that the speaker's grief will somehow overwhelm the sun. It sounds like clinical depression, in which the individual feels both worthless and hopeless. The last verse convey is especially desolate. I hope this is not autobiographical.

[LazerRays]

Thanks John... Yeah. You could say I lost someone :(
but... It was my fault. Anyways; I wish this wasn't autobiographical... But it is. :( thanks for the review Again