An education in sighing

Dearest lover, some things you should know.....

I am always inside my head
I pick apart all that you say
and will knee-jerk gravitate towards
what I believe is the negative
sure that you are leaving me bread crumbs
to follow the path
of leaving me in the dust.

I loathe walking around in only socks
and if I fall asleep in them
you will find in the morning
they have left my feet
because I prefer the feel of a bare foot
prefer an exposed soul
in comparison to suffocation.

I have a wealth of love in me
overflowing beautiful
spilling out on to
your unexpected heart
that is mixed with a rage
fed to me in my growing years
that still has yet to dissipate
at the rate that I want
leaving me feeling stained.

I from time to time,
often
will look in the mirror to search
what it is you might see in me
looking at all my imperfections
my ever so flawed beauty
that could fill a book
of short stories
where I am lacking
or comic book series
for the days I choose to laugh at my humanity.

I will have days
more than you will care to endure
more than you will be comfortable with
more than I want
where I cannot breathe right
where
your touch
your smile
your voice
you
will not be able to fix this
(me).

I think I am the most fascinating creature ever
that all my thoughts
utterances, groanings and epiphanies
are profound
and I expect you to find me
just as enthralling
as I secretly know I am not
but I still want you to be
and show me that you are
captivated inside my heart.


Dearest lover, what I really want you to know is....


I am not at all, nor never will be...
perfect.

And even though I know this to my core, I also know this...
 
I am worth it.