Sometimes

Sometimes wanting isn't enough

Sometimes I dont feel good enough

And when I think about how many wounds I have,

i just dont care.

Amd when i decide it wouldn't matter anyway,

I realize that I am not a mess you want to clean

And I teach myself to know that the pain is real

I bring the emotional pain to the surface,

And learn again how to feel.

I watch myself fall slowly, and then there it is...

There is the proof of my existance

And everything and everyone I love falls apart from me

But during this time abusing myself; I say outloud; "This makes it all okay."

This makes it all okay for them to hurt you,

To walk away from you

I dont want to do this again, I dont have to feel this anymore.

And now I make myself stop hurting,

I smother the pain with pills and alcohol,

And pray that if it's not my time to say goodbye to this earth,

Then when I wake up, someone will find me in my eyes

Because I dont know where I am anymore.

Reviews

[Miss Carmine]

Wow- emotion is really one of your strong points. It shows through in all your pieces and makes me feel for you.

Sincerely,
Miss Carmine

[MagicHearted Knight]

You have captured human emotion in its most raw unyielding state. You are gifted beyond words and I am in awe of your talent and creativity.