Broken Shadows

its was written for an October writng contest on another site, and I just wanted to get a little feedback. Hope you like it :)

This story was inspired by the song Haunted, by evanescence

           

Broken Shadows

My heart quivered, pounding inside me. It’s frantic beating bruised my chest as it fought to escape. Fear pulsed through my veins and consumed my soul until it was all I could do to keep from losing my sense of self completely. I waited, scarcely daring to breathe, as the seconds passed by with agonizing slowness. 
            My overwhelming panic gradually turned to anxiety, and then restlessness. The night was silent; the only sound was my labored, suppressed breath. 
            Maybe I hadn’t seen…a trick of the light, perhaps? I extended my pale finger tips forward, cautiously peering around the wall behind which I hid.  Hope fluttered briefly , only to be vanquished by soul-tearing horror.

He was here, inside my house, standing in my living room; my Bête Noire, my nightmare. The one that always plagued my footsteps in the sleeping world till my screams freed me, only to fall captive to memory in the waking one. I restrained the scream that fought desperately to escape my lips and sank to the ground, my terror pushing me to sudden exhaustion, but I did not run.  I couldn’t. I was trapped, plagued by my indomitable fear.

But it was more than that. There was a part of me that was intrigued, as though I were captivated by some ancient power that had won out against all my reason.

Assuming my reason hadn’t forsaken me long before. I watched him, mesmerized, though shaking so hard I though for sure the ground beneath me trembled.

Upon first glance he would seem to be human, though he was taller than I would have thought possible. But then there was something... different about him, though I couldn’t place my finger on it. 
            Then he turned, and I saw that his form was contorted, distorted by shadow. What I had at first taken to be a long cape now appeared to be…darkness. Darkness that moved with him, that was part of him. The tendrils of mist wrapped around his towering, and slightly hunched form. The darkness had a disturbing effect, but its absence revealed something much worse. The mist parted, just for a second, but it was enough time to see the gruesome imitation of a human chest. He was emaciated, with charred fragments of bone sticking out at odd angles, entangled with fragments of gray, rotting flesh.  It seemed death had ripped his sword viciously through his frame, leaving only a perverted imitation of life in its wake.

Revulsion and intrigued swept through me, and I felt lost in the already chaotic haze of emotions. My fingernails clenched against the palm of my hand, so tightly I felt they must rip through my flesh entirely. My shoulders clenched, withering under the immense load they carried.

Yet still, I watched.

He examined my room; my china, my T.V., my bookshelf, my pictures, as though trying to recreate my life through fragmented pieces. As he moved closer I could hear him breathing. Rasping, labored breath. Breath that seamed to hint it was anguish to take in, and agony to let out again.  It rattled eerily against his empty core.

His path had taken him to the southwest corner of the room, exactly across from where I hid. If he turned, he would see me, but he was not looking for me. He was staring at the pictures, the ones that I couldn't bare to look at, but would die before I removed from the wall. He traced the pictures with his, well, what I assumed were his hands; but they were so laden with black mist that they may not have existed at all, and the shadows that were swirling around the frames were there of their own accord

Then suddenly he seized one of my photos. He brought it closer, till it was barely an inch away from his face. He let out a moan. Soft, agonizing, and more terrifying than anything I had ever heard before. Its unearthly tone sent shivers down my spine.

I found myself straining to see what part of my life could have aroused that in him. Eventually he lowered it, so it was facing me, and I let out an involuntary gasp of recognition. 
           He whirled around, snarling, darkness flailing out behind him. The picture flew from his grip and crashed into the wall, shattering the glass, but he took no notice.
            It was first time, even in the dreams, that he had ever faced me. I don’t know what I saw under that hood of shadow, but it was gave my fear the power the rip my heart out threw my throat, finally breaking the barriers of my sanity.
            My scream won. It ripped through me as I flung myself backwards, trying desperately to flee, but having nowhere to go, and no way of getting there in time. My arms swung over me as I curled in a ball, waiting for pain or death to descend upon me. 

Neither did. 
            When I finally opened my eyes, the room was empty. Everything was as it had been before he had come. Except the photo, the one he had grabbed was missing.
            I slowly sat up, glancing at the corner, all hopes that it had all been my imagination fading, and then dying completely upon seeing its broken remains in the corner.
            I half crawled; half dragged my self to the spot where it lay, I gingerly picked it up, hands trembling. It was an old photo, ten years at least. It was of me; a more hopeful, and much less empty version of me. It was of me and my first boyfriend, the one that had stolen my heart and then ripped it to shreds, then patched it up just so he could do it again, and I had let him. It had been him that had almost led me to my death all those years ago. I’d kept his picture but I had never been able to let go of the first person I’d ever truly cared about, and the only one I though had ever cared about me. I was still in love with him, though I hated myself for it, it was irrevocably and undeniably true.

After the painful moments of anger and reminisces had passed, I tried to answer the questions that were burning in my head.
Who, or what, was he? Why was it my steps he was plaguing, and why was it this photo that had stirred so a strong emotion in him? 
I raked my brain, but no answer presented itself. I sat there a moment longer, but exhaustion eventually overtook my turmoil. 
            I was much to tired to stand up, but I could not bear to remain here, with all that I couldn’t understand. Somehow, I managed to crawl to my bedside, and heave myself into its promising warmth. Though a thousand thoughts burn through my head, the moment my head hit the pillow I was asleep.

            If I thought rest would bring me solace, I was sorely mistaken. The dreaming world was his kingdom, and now I was its captive. It seamed the photos had reawakened the deeply buried memories of my past. My mother’s murder, my fathers drunken rage, and when Chris, the only person in the world who I had trusted, had stolen every bit of life left in me. But now, in this version my shade was present. Comforting me as I scream in the dark, shielding me from my father’s blows, pulling me up when I had no reason to stand. 
Once my nightmare, now my savior.
            I woke up, my face beading with sweat, though it was unbearably cold. I didn’t look to see what time it was, though it was still dark outside. I just had to leave, to get away from the confusion, from the dreams, from everything. I grabbed a jacket, but no shoes, and scampered out against the bitter cold into the only slightly warmer comforts of my car. Numb, I fumbled with the keys several times before finally starting the ignition.
            I didn’t know where I was going, nor did I care, I just drove. I became lost in my thoughts. I didn’t notice that I’d turned onto a dirt road, didn’t notice as I wove my way into the country, deeper and deeper. I almost didn’t notice the large boulders that signaled the end of the path until I was barely a hearts beat from crashing into them. I slammed my foot on the breaks, roughly jerking myself back into the moment. 
            I wasn’t ready to go home. Nor did I feel any desire to turn and go back the way I had come. 
            I gingerly stepped out the car, leaving my jacket behind. The cold, merciless October wind bit at my bare arms, but I didn’t retreat into enticing protection of my car’s interior. I walked numbly forward.  My surroundings seemed oddly familiar, though it was not until I had stepped around the boulders that I realized I was at the viewpoint. I stopped dead, the bitter pang of heartache seeping into my chest. It seemed that though years had rolled by, my subconscious had never forgotten the way to the place that had once been my refuge, before revealing itself as my prison cell and torture chamber. It had been here that Chris revealed his true character, and in the most demeaning way possible he had told me that it had all been a lie, that he had never loved me; and then proceeded to utterly destroy the fire I had struggled in vain to build, to lighten my darkened soul. I knew I could not stay, not when it had been this very place which I had come to escape, I turned to leave, but found someone standing in my way.

It was Chris.

            He looked almost exactly as I remembered him, except the wild, almost feral look that now hung about him. Upon seeing me, his mouth spread into a wide, manic grin.
            “I thought I might find you here.” His voice was nonchalant, as though he was merely making pleasant conversation, but there something about the way he sauntered toward me that made me feel like mouse about to be ravaged by a hawk.

“Chris” I breathed.  I seemed cruel to mean that in of everything he’d done, his name still evoked a sense of desperate longing within me.

“I figured it out,” he continued in that same casual tone, slowly walking forward, the irrational gleam in his eyes becoming more prominent with every step. I took a step back, knowing every step would bring me closer to the edge of the viewpoint, and the sea hundreds of feet below.
            “You see, He’s connected to you, his life force is bound to your very existence, so if you die,” his already sadistic grin turned malicious “well, so will he.”

And then he lunged.

            He slammed into me, and I felt my back slam into the earth with bone shattering force. I was pinned beneath him. His lips an inch away from mine.
            “Finally it will be ended,” he snarled, his mocking demeanor now overcome with uncontrollable hatred. He was beastlike in his rage, his fury.
            “The torture, the never ending torment. Now I will be free.” I didn't know what he was talking about, but I could sense the madness, the unstableness, and I knew I was in danger. You couldn’t reason with a  monster. I struggled, but that only made him stronger. 
            I gave up, and resignedly waited for the fate I knew I could not escape.

And then, unexpectedly, his weight was gone. I looked up as Chris let out a violent scream of rage.
            He was here, my shadow, my rescuer. I was saved. I hardly dared breath  hope, hardly dared believe this was real, that  he had come.

But there he was, my attacker locked firmly in his grip. 
            He looked up at me, and this time I didn’t look away. There was something…like the imprint of a face, no; an echo, long since lost to shadow.
            “Alina.” he whispered my name in a low, rasping voice, and I realized it was the first I’d heard him speak. 
            Chris snarled loathingly and wrenched himself free, He turned and in one fluid motion he had my protector stumbling into the dirt. As my shadow fell he thrust out his darkness, bringing Chris down with him. They writhed and wrestled a snarling mass of human and supernatural. 
I was terrified, but not for me, for my shadow, my dark angel..

On they fought, though whether it was few seconds or an hour, I couldn't tell. Then it seemed my shadow had won. He had encircled Chris with his dark mist, which turned into binding cords before my eyes.
            But even as I felt the thrill of victory the captor reached into his pocket and flung a white, crystallized substance at the champion.

My savior let out a shriek of agony darkness swirling violently around him, before he collapsed into broken mass at his prisoner’s feet. I soft, surprised scream escaped my lips as I ran toward him, his pain my only thought.
            But I had forgotten Chris, Kicking my crippled hero aside like a rag doll he strode toward me, and grasping my throat he ran, dragging me toward the edge.
            I tried to yell, but my lungs were already screaming for air. I tried to fight back, but it seamed that at the very moment when I had needed it most, my strength had failed me.
            We had reached the edge. His hand tightened around my neck. My lungs were on fire. My mind was slowly being eating away by the unconquerable dark. I’m fading, and soon I will cease to exist. I can hear Chris laughing, just like the last time he beat me, only this time he will have destroyed my forever. 
            Rage such as I have never felt now coursed through me, suddenly overwhelming the defeated girl who had cringed at the hands of her tormentors her entire life. I thrust out my foot, catching his ankle and yanking it out from under him. His laughter quickly fades in shock as he falls, into me. We crashed, rolling uncontrollably…

Over the edge.

 

I remembered the wind, and the roaring waters. I remembered the thrill as I rushed through the air. Though I knew my life was about to end, I felt free, liberated. I had finally conquered fear, in death. My screams were those of overwhelming joy, not of terror.

But now, now all I know is pain. In my head, my back, my arms, but most of all in my legs. A thousand tiny needles have punctured my leg just below my ankle. At first the pain was dull, but as I slowly regained consciousness, it became clearer, until the excruciating ness of it was unbearable. I wanted it to stop. I need it to end, to be over. I need for the darkness to take me. Please take me, release me, make me free.

 

Then I heard it. A noise.  So quiet at first I  thought I must have imagined it, a distraction from my state, but it persisted. It grew louder and louder, until finally, I realized what it was. Chris. Chris was in danger.

I didn’t hesitate. I spun around so I was lying on my stomach, ignoring the wave of agony and haziness that threatened to in me.

Chris had landed beside me on the ledge as well, but whereas I had landed near the center, he had landed on the edge. All I could see was his hands, but I could hear him. He was screaming now, his voice laced with fear and desperation. I crawled, slowly, toward him.

He was struggling, legs flailing as he vainly tried to pull himself up.

"Grab my hand!" I shouted over the roar, extending one arm toward him. Chris’s eyes flashed with hatred, but he reached his arm up towards mine. He wrapped his hand around my rest.

I relaxed my tense shoulders.

But then he gripped my wrist tighter, yanking me down toward him, toward a fate that would spell both our deaths. I felt shock cascading through me like I’d been doused in ice cold water.

“Chris!” I gasped, digging my knees into the knife-like rocks. Excruciating tremors shot up my right leg as a weakened scream escaped my lips. Chris pulled harder.

“Chris Stop!” I pleaded, trying to wrench my arm free, “you’re going to kill us both!”

“That’s the point.” He snarled, his grip around me was iron, his fingertips seeping into my skin, into me.

I looked at him then, really, looked at him. Those eyes that I had once found so mesmerizing, now so inhuman. A man I had once loved, so controlled fear and revenge he wouldn’t, couldn’t let go; even at the cost of his own life. He was lost.

I freed my arm, ripping it out of his grip with strength I know I don’t have. He growled and reached again. But my sudden movement had thrown him off balance.  His other hand was slipping. He realized what was happening a second too late. He clawed frantically, but it was no use.

He lost his grip, and fell away from the edge, away from me, forever.

I watched him fall, with an almost graceful slowness, until he was swallowed by the sea below.

I felt no grief at the death of the one who had once be my life, neither joy at the death of the man who I had every reason in the world to hate. I merely felt-- peace. It was over, I was free. I smiled, for perhaps the first time in ten years.  It only lasted for a moment, though, before reality wrenched through me. Gasping heavily, I cringed at the spasms of pain. It was then that I finally saw my leg.

It was drenched in blood, and it looked-- it looked like my foot was missing, torn-off, gone. I couldn’t move. I was literally trapped.  

How ironic, I mused, detachedly. I was ready to stand, really stand, for the first time in my life; and now I never would. Never like that. My freedom had merely led me from one prison to another.

And then I collapsed, darkness closing in on me.

Forever.

Almost.

Dark tendrils of mist swirled around me, gently wrapping around my limbs, cushioning my back. I felt my self rising, leaving the ledge. The mist carried me all the way, before softly setting me down on the ground.

The mist wasn't done, however. It gathered more thickly around my ravaged ankle, swirling around it like a cast. Gradually, I felt the pain lessen to a dull ache. I chanced a look over my shoulder, and there was another foot, my foot. I was whole.

"Finis." I heard the rasping voice whisper, and slowly the mist faded away.

I sat up, carefully at first, then rapidly turning around.

It was the closest I had ever been to him. Up close, he didn’t look unnatural or peculiar. He just looked different, like the one that didn’t belong. He didn’t seem gruesome anymore either, just--different.

I gently reached a hand forward.  He cringed away from my touch, but I pressed forward anyway, gently stroking his chest. I was surprised and how solid, how firm it felt. Something else was off too.  The way this movement felt--familiar, soothing.

Then I saw it, the burning hole where Chris's substance, salt, had hit him. It was still smoldering, eating away at his essence. Tears burned under my eyelids. I choked back the sobs and looked up to his face. His eyes met mine, and I felt my sorrow dry up, briefly.

The he shuddered violently, before he crumpled into the grass.

"No!" I screamed, He couldn't, not now. I lifted him up, cradling his head to my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to heal him the way he’d healed me. I couldn't let this happen. He wouldn't die because he had expended the strength he should have used to heal himself to save me.

"No," I said again, softly, tears streaming down my face, "don’t leave me."

"Don’t...cry," he rasped, "don't cry...Alina...I done...go...now."

"You can't," I whispered, my soul breaking. I hugged him tighter, as if by doing so I would some how be able to protect him, to save from the inevitable. "Please, it’s my turn to save you."

"No," he rasped, and despite his frail state he sounded firm, resolute. "I was my turn to save you."

I shook my head, numbed by grief. I had never felt so weak, ever. But I reveled at the sound of his voice, wishing we could talk like this forever. "I don't know what you mean."

"Yes," He countered "you do." Then he lifted one shadowed limb to my cheek. I gasped as memories flooded through my mind. A small quiet boy, sitting alone on the swings. Then another of him crying, surrounded by a jeering crowd; and then me, shielding him from the mob. Leading him through the tangled brambles that led to the field behind the school. Lifting him up when he stumbled, his frail legs struggling to reach that field, our secret place. Laughing as he tickled my neck. Smiling at him, my cheek resting on his shoulder as he struggled to put his thoughts into words.

Then me, alone, waiting for him by our swing. Worry etched in my features. Tearing through the neighborhood with a frantic desperation, Calling his name, day after day. Tears streaming down my cheeks as I pleaded for my only friend, my lost angel.

"Alan," I whispered softly, surely.

"Yes," he said, sighing at the sound of his name from my lips "yes."

"Oh Alan," I breathed, pulling him closer and resting my cheek on his forehead "I missed you." I inhaled deeply,  wishing for the soft fragrance of lavender I’d always known would be there after he’d stumbled into the bushes behind my house, which he’d done everyday.

"Alina," he croaked, "I L..."

Then he went limb in my arms.

            My heart stopped. As he slackened beneath me I fell with him, a few gasping sobs pulling their way out as I lay my head on his chest. Holding him to me one, last time. I whispered his name softly, longingly.

I would never leave. I would stay here, with Alan in my arms, for eternity. A silver tear slid down my face and tumbled off my cheek, landing on Alan.

 

The ground shook. I pulled away, trembling, as the world rippled.

Then I felt it, the ground was tearing, right beneath us. I flung myself away with a small shriek. My hands darted out from under me, reaching for Alan, trying to pull him away as the earth opened it’s wide, hungry jaws.

But the ground wouldn’t let go. Thick mossy tendrils wrapped around him. I watched mutely as he sank back into the darkness, back to where he belonged.

I watched, as my long lost friend sank into the earth, finally disappearing into shadows.

I didn't have any idea what to do, but then, somehow, I did. I stood up and got to work. I grabbed every flower I could see. When I had as many as I could carry, I came back. I worked right until dawn, gently placing each flower until; at last, it was complete.

It wasn’t an intricately ordered pattern with complex shapes and corresponding colors; it was erratic, spontaneous, different. Perfect.

I pulled out a notebook, and scribbled” Here lies Alan, my friend to the end." I gently placed it with the flowers.

I stayed there, with him, until the sun had long since risen into the sky. I knew it was time. So with one, final glance, at the place that had changed my life forever, I left.

I never did find out what happened to Alan, why he disappeared all those years ago. All I do know is he never left, not really, not even now.  The girl I had been with Alan lived on in me, and gradually I felt her return. The healing process was slow, but every day I grew stronger, like a flower after winter releases its grip.

Beauty once lost can be returned.

Alina Solum, Alina renatus

Reviews

[Meg Craft]

I love this! Your descriptions are magical, the ending was amazing, and love the Evanescence influence! Keep up the amazing work!

-R.E. Imfeld

[Josh121]

Firstly: OMG Evanescence!!!!!!!!

Seccondly: OMG this story!!!!!!!!

Great job. I couldnt stop reading it and i could deffinately see how the song influenced this story. Keep up the good work.

[A. L. Allen]

This story took my breath away. I was completely riveted throughout, and your superb and ethereal descriptions really drew me in.

I actually love the bitter-sweet ending. It is true that she lost a great friend- someone who could never be replaced -but then again, that loss gave her a sense of perspective on her life and got her moving forwards. Now, if she had curled up into a ball and just withered away from misery, I would have had a problem. XD But, she didn't, so it's all good. ;D

I also like how she tried to save Chris, that shows that she really does have a kind and forgiving side. I also really like how she didn't rejoice over his death; I think that if she did, that would have marred her image as a true heroine.

Stunning job!!! Keep up the great work! :D

[Nicole Monet']

I couldn't stop reading it. I had to know the ending, it grabbed me from the beginning. I love the word usage also.

[Jasmine Thousand]

Held me mezmorized till the end.
~Jasmine Thousand~

[oops sorry (not really)]

i was hoping it would end happily :( but it was good xD

[PyroKitty24]

Beautifully written~ I was so amazed by it. i was captivated throughout the whole thing! I'm sad that we didn't get to learn more about Alan, though, but hey. it made for a mysterious ending~

[light and ashes]

WOW! OH WOW! Exciting, thrilling, it is so easy to get intangled in the plot of this story. I could not stop reading for nothing! So unique! This is SO AMAZING!!!

[TheElfPrincess]

This is such a beautiful story. I was really captivated and mesmerized. Well written and well done.