Obey

under the command of someone or something

Those eyes,

They paralyze,

They hypnotize,

Or tranquilize.

They threaten

Every law I’ve ever known.

Oh, I can’t help myself.

I’ve fallen for

The trap that you prepare

Your snare,

A smile.

And your whip,

The subtle twinkle

Of your eyes.

 

Your eyes, they pierce into me,

Summoning the slave

At your will, I will react.

I won’t fight the call.

You’ve hypnotized,

You’ve tranquilized,

The animal inside,

I’m on a leash.

And I’ll follow you,

Heel, sit and stay

For your command

No matter what you say.

I’ve lost all sense,

Your voice is order.

Yes, I am under your command.

 

Your eyes they paralyze,

They hypnotize,

Or tranquilize.

Like a keeper at the zoo,

Your voice commands my motions.

Faster, harder, slower

I will obey the call, the whistle, yet

Your eyes yell the loudest orders,

And I know I cannot falter.

I won’t disappoint.

I am an animal,

A pet, a protector

Tell me master,

And I will obey.

 

Author's Note

written on a whim, does it flow?

Reviews

[Truman S. Booth]

Excellent flow. I love repetition in poems, when it is done correctly, and the organization of this felt professional. Returning to the "eyes," and the image that they are louder than the voice, was an especially stirring concept. Very well done.

[Andromeda]

yup, it flows great. kinda creepy. i like!

[justink :):)]

i think it flows very well and i like it


justintime


aka justin

[Carlee]

I think it flows very well! You keep writing unusual things Miss Fantabulous, I'm so proud of you~! -giggles- anyway--There are innuendos in here that I KNOW are visible to others than just myself. Did you intend them? Anyway, it's definitely one of those that can be interperted it many ways, and my mind conjured up several different scenarios.

May I ask what inspired this?

[Brenda Sue]

This holds the very idea of submission. Very well written. Only one thing you wrote "Heal, sit and stay" should it be "Heel, sit and stay"? Don't mean to be nit-picky. This piece is wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Shadows of Sight]

I think it flows very well. I think this is what a dog must feel for his master! Great Write!
I think you hit every fibre of the essence of submission
Great Job! :)