Temperature

writing prompt: waiting

She sat beside the bathtub

With her hand occasionally thrust into the water:

Cold.

She watched the clock and thought about the waiter.

He had spilt her drink across the table,

And just like the water now, it had been

Cold.

Splashing up against the dress she had bought

Just for their special night.

Another minute called for another test:

Room temperature.

The way her date had looked at her from across the table

Had felt like a grandma’s hug, had felt

Room temperature.

Another minute called for another test:

Warm.

She thought back to the car ride home

With the music low and the heater on,

But just low enough to where she couldn’t quite get

Warm.

Another minute called for another test:

Hot.

At last she thought about the front porch,

Where he took her hand and tried to kiss her,

But she pulled away and the friction

Between their hands was

Hot.

A long day called for another rest.

She slid deep into the tub, after all this waiting,

And decided to forget about that night.

It was like, the only temperature she hadn’t felt

Was the one that was

Just right.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

2nd posting, hurray for restoration!

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

This was cool. Akin to the story of three little bears and goldie locks testing of the porrage.
How often, we go through life waiting for just the right moment. Sometimes, the only place we find it, is in our own self, while relaxing.
Great Write!

[Lydia Shutter]

I loved the Goldilocks and the three bears metaphor you employed here, Sara. Very romantic write. Unique and wonderful. Lydia

[Murphy]

you definitely have something here... formatting can always be adjusted. you have brought many thoughts together into one cohesive piece; i find this very impressive. i have read this through a few times and would have to say that my favorite part is the transition from warm to hot. warm, but not warm enough... then hot, but like the heat of an awkward (maybe even a bit annoying) moment, missing the temp that was 'just right'. almost in frustration, she decides to just put the whole night out of her mind. anyhow, i'm not sure if this was your intent, but that's how i took it. what i find impressive is how you have taken something as simple as waiting for the bathwater to warm up and expounded upon it, comparing it to the earlier events of the evening. the reader can feel things heating up, from the cold water that was spilled across the table to the room temperature glance across the table to the almost, but not quite warmth of the car ride home to the awkward friction between their hands. i enjoyed dissecting this one... lol... maybe i'm just overtired, but i like the premise... i hear the hot tub calling my name... (murph repeats in a trancelike state), "i must obey... i must obey.."...

[Andromeda]

maybe you should indent the italicized words instead of italicizing them...that might work, idk. i like it, especially the just right part; baths are amazing. =)