Space

Space

 

The

 

 

space,

 

the lonely

space,

 

between me

 

and

them

 

causes my heart

 

to

ache

 

 

and bre ak.

Reviews

[Hamkar]

I agree completely with Devons

[Devons]

I like the way you play with words and play with the appearance of words... It's far more meaningful and effective than many publishers and some readers believe... I don't think it is always a trick to persuade the reader unfairly in favour of the work... Tricks can be superficial, but if the words themselves are effective and meaningful too then it is not an empty trick...!!
Rather like this poem, which is a good example...

[Augustus]

Oh my word! This is a work of genius. So startlingly simple and yet so moving.... Moreover, I have never come across a poem, a celebration of words, in which white spaces dictated the impact. The "bre ak" at the end was astoundingly poignant and vivid.... No adjective in the English language could elucidate a heart break better than this precisely placed white space of yours... Phenomenal!

[--]

I love it! This is so simple and concise, but it conveys so much emotion in those few words. Your syntax and line breaks are fantastic also, they really reflect the tone and meaning of the poem.

[Antonio Valentino]

That space between two souls separtated by fate, is as big as grain and small, as forever.

As always, love your writing.
Antonio xx

[just rose.]

I love when you play with structure and take words apart and put them back together again. ee cummings would be proud - this is brilliance.

[Angel Veselinov]

Nice and simple great work :) Thanks for sharing i like the line space lonely space

[Alysha]

This peice has power and impact. The spaces, while in other poems would be annoying, add more to it, they give our eyes the feeling of what you are conveying and add another dimension to your writing. Very well done. Keep Writing

[faryn wolff]

The use of literal space in this poem is a brilliant artistic expression. Combined with the loneliness of the words, the emotions of this poem are clearly felt. Wonderful and stirring. I hope the lonesome space fills with love :)

[J.M. Barrett]

I forget what this technique is called, but I love the way you use it!
The way you use words not just to articulate what you are feeling, but also to give a literal imagery.

I also like the picture and the "[ ]". It's a neat package and every element contributes to the poem in an artistic manner.