Sapphire

I can do it

Gracielyn’s funeral is tomorrow. I don’t think I can go without losing focus and ruining the family secret. “You’ll do fine.” Robyn assures me as she sits on my bed. “You’re showing signs of a submissive pack member. Besides, your self-control is down pat.”

   I smile. My sister is so loving just like my mother. She kisses my cheek and skips off. My cell buzzes on the dresser; it’s an unknown number. “Hello?” I answer. The person on the other line asks for me. “This is he.”

            “Kieron, this is the county Coroner, Dr. Powell. I was running some more tests on the fur we found on Gracielyn’s body.”

            “Yes, yes.” I urgently say.

            “I got the results of the animal. However, the results are also picking up some of your DNA off the fur.”

   I scowl. “What are you implying? I was asleep the whole night, the guests confirmed it.” I growl.

            “I know. The only way your DNA can mix with the wolf’s is if you’re a werewolf, which is highly irrational.” We both laugh.

            “So, it was a wolf?”

            “Yes.”

            “Did you find the animal?” reports have shown how if any hunter can find the black wolf who killed Gracielyn would get a prize.

            “No, sadly.”

            “Well, Dr. Powell, you have no idea what this means for my family and Gracielyn’s.” I say. “Thank you.”

   I hang up, sighing as I land back on my bed. A wolf…me…I killed her and that fact pains me the most. I had to phase on the most important night of my life. If I would’ve known, I could’ve been more cautious around her. The sad part about it, no one knows when the phase occurs; no specific age or date.

   I yawn, followed by a small whimper. I guess I can take a nap.

   A couple hours later, I’m gazing at the ceiling. I watch the blades of the ceiling fan rotate. I haven’t gotten an ounce of sleep. I’m constantly getting distracted by her voice whispering my name, “Sapphire”. It’s a piercing and chilling experience to hear her voice constantly like that.

   I grab my scrapbook and a mechanical pencil. I turn on the lamp on my night stand. I find a fresh page to draw a memorial for Gracie; a tattoo I want to draw on my heart.

   After an hour, I look over my memorial tattoo. It’s a wolf paw scratching into the skin opening four flesh wounds, revealing behind it a sapphire wolf eye. Each blood drop has a letter of Sapphire, her last words that are keeping me up at night. I start filling in the blood drops with a dark shade of red, almost black. The eye I color sapphire, the flesh wound I color in a black.

   I take my picture down to the Tattoo Parlor. I meet the very artist I wanted and he seems very interested in the story behind the tat. He and I share common interests and I showed him some of my sketches once he finished my tattoo. I pay him and I leave.

   I need to ride by Alister’s shop and see about the business. When I was younger, my grandfather, Alister, taught me everything I needed to know about cars. He told me my skill will be handy when I got older, and it is. I see him working on a black 1972 Dodge Charger.

   I park my car and I walk to the car, rubbing the paint. “Who does this belong to?” I ask as he closes the hood.

            “Andrew Morris.” he answers. I scowl. “Yeah, you probably don’t remember him. He and Scarlet used to belong to the pack when you were younger.”

            “Scarlet I remember.”

            “Who cannot? She had every male in a hundred mile radius crave her, even Prince and Ashton.” he answers. “Anyway, some idiot went drag racing yesterday and messed up his whole braking system. Tomorrow, I want you to come in and fix it.”

            “About to tomorrow, Alister.” I sigh. He looks up at me. “I have to attend Gracie’s funeral tomorrow. Can I come in afterwards?”

            “Sure, son.” I turn to walk away. “Kieron, sono davvero dispiaciuto per la tua perdita, Nipote.”

   I nod. I sit back in my car and I slowly drive home. Halfway there, I pull over to the side. The heavy, hot tears have obscured my vision. I hit the steering wheel, barking in anger. I have no confidence right now; I won’t be able to see her lying in the coffin. Non posso farlo.

 

   The next morning arrives and I awaken to a somber morning. I shower and I grab a new suit Robyn and Iris bought me. Since my phase, I have outgrown most of my clothes.

   Gracie’s mother had asked me personally to play at least one song, our song; “Everything” by Lifehouse. We met to that song at their concert in ninth grade. I decide to bring the blue one with her name etched on the frets. I drive to the Rosewood Chapel. Already, the church is filled up; the whole town came to pay their respects.

   I walk up to the second row, behind her parents; my eyes never leave the black, open casket. My breathing starts accelerating as I glance upon her face. My eyes start to blur and I can feel my blood boil, trying to find some way to make me transform so I can be at ease. I start to lightly tremble, but I know if I do not morph now, the trembling will get stronger.

   Then, Robyn grabs my hand as she sits next to me. I look up at her, easing my breathing. She slightly smiles as she squeezes my hand. I am nervous and scared. She rests her head on my shoulder, nuzzling me. Finally, my fast breathing comes to a normal pace.

            “Everything will be okay, Kieron. You’ll do fine.” she whispers against my neck.

   When it’s my turn to perform, I rise and walk towards the casket.

   I stand over Gracielyn’s body. She looks so peaceful, graceful. I smile, leaning down; I kiss her cold cheek, which warms once my lips touch it. I turn to face the on-looking crowd. I begin playing the song, our song, all the way to the end. But as I end the song, I can feel my bottled emotions swelling in my throat. I try to swallow them, but if I apply anymore force, it’ll rip through my throat.

   I rush from the stage and up to the bell tower. Silently sobbing, I hit the wall, sliding down to my knees. I drop the guitar, crying harder. I have no thoughts as to what I saw or how I feel…this is indescribable pain.

   After a couple minutes, I hear a pair of heels clonking up the stairs of the bell tower, inching closer to me. I shield my face in my hands, the guitar lying at my feet watching me in disgust.

   Each clonk is a cry of anger thrown at me. I’m hiding in this dark corner like a coward…un codardo…

   Then, it grows silent and I look up. Emery stands before me in a black, strapless dress. She looks down on me. I growl, shielding my face again. She sits next to me. “Why can’t I just disappear? Why am I brought here to suffer? You should see how peaceful she looks in that box. Death mocks me with her smile.” I complain. “I want to be in a peaceful state where I have to suffer no longer.”

            “Death isn’t the only solution.”

            “No, but it is a profitable one.”

            “And who will profit from it besides your selfish soul?”

   I scowl. I touch my chest. “Selfish? My soul only knew condolence.” I shake my head. “What’s left of this soul now that’s she’s gone?”

   She shakes her head. “Your heart is selfish. Gracie wasn’t the only most important person in your life.”

            “I know I have a compassionate mother and valiant father. But which one of them will love me like she did? What future awaits me without her?” I ask. I shake my head. I look in her eyes with all traces of seriousness. She seems captivated by my eyes. “There’s isn’t one.”

   She looks away, sighing. “Kieron, love is not all that exists in this world. And Gracielyn's love definitely wasn’t the only love ever. Love, hate, tenderness, anger; they’re all new once you feel it from someone different.” she explains.

   Her words are true; love is never the same with a different person. I heavily sigh. “I have to move on; is that what you’re saying?”

   She nods. “Try new things. Reach for something different.” we sit silently in the bell tower, listening to the pastor below us. Soon, we join the rest of the church.

   After another sermon, I grab the coffin along with some other close men. We place it in the hurst outside. We drive to the cemetery. The pastor blesses her

and then, he prays. Everyone drops a few flowers in as she’s lowered down in the ground. People start to clear away. But I stay, looking over her coffin.

   I hold in my hand a stow of blue roses I dyed last night. As she lowered farther from me, I kiss the roses and I drop them on her coffin. 

Author's Note

Sono davvero dispiaciuto per la tua perdita, Nipote - I am truly sorry for your loss, Grandson
Non posso farlo – I can’t do it
un codardo - a coward