The eternal quest for brotherly love

i have been working on this story for five years and i am finally revising it and perfecting it. this is just a little snippet and i want to know if it's good enough to finish. please rate and review.

Many cars pass by on the street, hypnotizing the mind of Rose. She patiently lies outside for her fried to exit the gas station. Tristen loves his sprite. He never keeps any in the house.

 

    He never tells anyone why he doesn’t keep his favorite drink in the house. He likes to walk to the corner store at four in the morning. But Rose knows why. She sits up late at night, watching Tristen violently shake in his bed. He never gets an adequate amount of sleep these days. And to be frank, she doesn’t either.

 

    Rose shakes her head. Then, she focuses her eyes on a black BMW pulling up on the other side of the street. Two guys step out the car, dressed in black suits, not the usual attire she sees on this block. She growls as they inch closer to the gas station, looking around as if trying to avoid any unnecessary attention.

 

    Tristen walks outside, sipping on his sprite. He pets Rose’s head. She purrs against his leg. Tristen doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that two, nicely dressed Caucasian males are approaching him. Tristen and Rose continue their walk. Rose ends up between Tristen and the two mysterious men. She growls, her ears pulled back on her head. Her white teeth are brightening against her black fur.

 

            “Are you Tristen Marshall?” one of the suited men asks.

 

   Tristen and Rose keep walking. “Maybe,” he darkly answers.

 

            “Maybe as in an ex Creed 13 assassin? Maybe as in Joshua harp’s best friend?” the first guy asks, making both Tristen and Rose freeze in their tracks.

 

     Tristen lowers his head, his black bangs falling over his lavender eyes. “Who are you and what do you want?”

 

            “Keith Jacobs from Creed 13.” The second man identifies himself. “We need you to come with us to discuss an urgent matter.”

 

    Tristen smiles, Rose sneers. “Yeah, uh, I’m a retired assassin. Creed 13 and I don’t work together anymore.”

 

            “Thirty-three seems to be an awful young age to retire.” Keith says as Tristen gulps his sprite.

 

     Keith walks closer to Tristen. Rose snarls. He slowly back away. “She’s a little territorial.”

 

    Keith’s friend c***s his gun. Tristen finishes his sprite before throwing it on the ground. There’s a reason why Tristen was Creed 13’s best assassin. Slowly, Tristen tightens his fist. Two long jagged blades easily slide out of his forearms.

 

            “Listen, boys; the last time someone pointed a gun at me lost his hands. And I know from experience, in Creed 13, you’ll need those essential pieces.” he warns. “Rose and I will go with you. But if I see the barrel of a gun, you’ll be sitting on Santa’s lap asking for prosthetic hands for Christmas.”

...

“Sir,” Keith class after his general as they make their way to the room where Tristen is, “he has a very territorial panther that talks!”

 

     General Harris smiles. “Animals from Cyduxadi aren’t like the animals on earth, Keith. Tristen rescued Rose and her sister, Tishami from Cyduxadi. They don’t act that way unless Tristen says to.”

 

            “So, he knew we were coming?”

 

            “Yep.” he answers walking inside to join the interrogators. Rose notices General Harris. She happily runs up to him, rubbing her face along his leg. He pets her head. “Hi, Rose. How are ya’?”

 

            “Good, General. And you?”

 

            “I’m making it.”

 

     Tristen studies the General. Age has taken its toll on his features, but he’s still has the same muscular frame, the horse voice. “Ah, Tristen,” he says looking at his old friend. But that’s all he can say. He shakes his head.

 

            “What do you want, Timothy?” Tristen hoarsely asks.

 

    General has to cautiously approach him about such a serious matter. He can feel the stinging of his dew on his forehead. He removes a napkin from his pocket. Quickly, he wipes the napkin across his forehead. Tristen watches in disgust.

 

            “I’d hate to ask you this, Tristen, but the government captured an informer from Cyduxadi. He’s become a liability. He escaped to Cyduxadi six hours ago.” he begins. He’s surprised that it all rolled off his tongue so easily. “And we need you to kill him.”

 

            “Why can’t you get another Creed member to do it? Why me?”

 

            “Because if we put an earthling on that god-forsaken breeding ground, he’ll be wiped out in a matter of minutes.”

 

    There’s another reason why Tristen was best at his job; he’s a Cyduxadian, although he was raised on earth. He never developed a love for that planet. Everything about that planet gave him a bad vibe. He’s seen his closest comrades being sucked into its dark abyss, never returning.

            “I promised that I’ll never return to that place again. I will not do it.”

 

            “We thought you’d say that. So, we had this come in as a bribe.” Keith hands him a holographic device. He presses the middle button and a screen of Joshua appears in mid-air. Tristen and rose gasp. There, Joshua is, chained to a wall in the crucifixion position.

 

            “Who sent you this?” Rose growls. Tristen is speechless; his long lost comrade, no, his brother, chained like some test dummy.

 

            “His name is Anthraxes. He’s now ruling over more than sixty percent of Cyduxadi. He is very powerful and deceiving.”

 

            “Why does he have Joshua?” she continues.

 

    The general sighs. “Joshua was running some under ground business with some of the villages in Cyduxadi. Joshua was trying to blend in with the villagers so he could get to know more about Anthraxes. He was staying in Cyduxadi to assassinate Anthraxes, but the night he was going to kill him, Anthraxes got a hold of him first.”

    Tristen sits in his chair, staring at Joshua’s holographic misery. He misses his brother and this isn't how he was supposed to die. They made a promise when they were younger that together, they’d die. When Tristen got married and started a family, that promise was broken. Joshua never wanted to speak to him again. Joshua did everything to ruin Tristen’s new life; but he had nothing to do with the killing of his wife. That’s why Tristen left Creed 13. He needed to raise his family and protect them.  He promised never to go back at any cost.

 

    Rose, who is enabled to read his thoughts when granted, looks at him. Tristen, he needs you. I know in your heart you love him; we all do. And no matter the hurt he inflicted upon you, you’ll only be hurt even more if you let him die like that.

 

            What about my daughter and sister?

           

            They will be safe. she promises.

 

    That’s was what was assured to him the week his wife was murdered. He was never the type to leave his family unwatched, even under the protection of Creed 13. when he went in for an assassination in Cyduxadi, she was murdered.

Author's Note

well, here's my little snippet. i'd hate to start a project that i am afraid of not finishing because i feel as if it isn't enough for my readers. so please, let me know if it's good enough or not. Thanks.