saw myself die

poem.

 

I feel myself disintegrate

Can’t remember the last time I ate

I’m wondering the streets

With burning feet

Voices in my head

Will not be dead

 

I am not someone you know

I will not put on a show

 

Sometimes I cry

When no ones around

Sometimes I pry

My way to reality

But not break through

I’m stuck in insanity

Don’t think I’ll ever

Break free from the pain

I’m just a person

Trapped in a cage

I’m just an animal

That needs to be tamed

 

I’ve never been

Really alive

Never reconsidered

My thoughts to die

I once asked

For some kind of savior

But now I realize

It was just dumbfounded behavior

 

And yes I cried

When I saw myself die

With bloodshot eyes

And a broken spine

A broken heart and mind

Knowing that I was out of time

Never had a chance

Taking a glance

At my crumbled body

I knew I was nothing to be found

 

I am lost in a secluded world

Not a word that I’ve told

Is worth an open-minded soul.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Such a powerful expression, rising like a song with its lyric quality. Your words are so beautifully bittersweet and bring me back to the years I wandered in depression and isolation. You capture the image so vividly... Amazing piece...

Craig

[Valentine]

Courtney..I see you are back into writing the black poems again..This one is a bit better than most..You just hang in there for me..love and God bless you sweetie..Valentine

[Sarah]

I really enjoyed this! Usually poems about depression tend to be a bit cliche, but this wasn't. You captured the loneliness and insanity of being trapped in your own world, unable to escape into reality no matter how hard you try. I think this is an accurate representation of depression that so many people attempt to write about, and yet few people can do well. So great job!!! :)