Tainted

School paper I did a while back

 

An intoxicating level of brilliance and a high development of maturity, may as well describe me.  I have an IQ of 198 and I really despise the childish displacement of my fellow peers at my domain.  I figure that you must use your mind before expressing influenza of remarks full of stupidity.  If you were to approach me, you would probably view me as a dark displacement; or as the usual freak.  Though I don’t see why; I see myself as a human being- just like you- with a beating heart- just like yours. So what would you be the extreme difference you present me with?

            Putting the negatives aside, my name is Damien Elijah Richardson. I can honestly say- unlike most people- I like the name my birth parents presented me with.  In actuality my last name from them is Sanchez. (No I am not of the Latino origin).  I can not say that I remember my birth parents very much. See, when I was about three years old, my mother was murdered by my father. I was sleeping through the tragic event but often I have the horrifying thought of screams from my mother as she was being stabbed to death by my father.  Although they are very faint, I still can hear them.  Like they echo through my mind; like if you trap someone in a closed room with no windows or cracks, and they scream,  with the scream echoing to a mere stop for a conclusion.

As I was saying, my birth father was placed in prison on death row.  I was put in foster care and later adopted by my parents, Jenna and Carol Richardson.  I would like to someday be as generous, noble, and kind to them as they have been towards me.  I do put forth my effort, trying to make it up to them. Like doing as many chores as possible, doing well in school and such like that.  Yet and still, I have always deprived myself as the failure.

In case you were wondering, no I have not visited my birth father in prison.  It would indeed pain me to do so.   Even if, over the thirteen years of our separation, that he has sent me letters- though I wonder how that was possible… how did he find out where I lived… - most in which stating things like, ‘hey kiddo, miss ya so much.  How bout visiting your ol man anytime soon?’ And it would always enclose with, ‘sorry for everything’ and then his initials.

I’ve tried with every core in my being to forgive and forget, but how could I?  I mean, even if he is my natural father that I am supposed to respect, he is also my natural father that killed my natural mother.

Ah… my beautiful natural mother…

I do have pictures of her; salvaged by authorities and some sent to me from my father.  I would have to say she was the most beautiful human being on this planet.  She had steal blue eyes, brown hair, and a soft smile with sweet dimples indenting in that smile.  I’m happy to say that I’d taken after her.  I have the same steal blue eyes, and I used to have brown hair but, well, I’d experimented with different colors so now it’s black with brilliant red highlights.

And her smile, I know that I can never –neither can anyone else- imitate her smile.  She had the childishly seductive, yet soft, variability of a smile.  It is illustrated to me in my favorite picture of her.  Where she is holding me –I was about one or two years old- and it was where she was rocking me to sleep, her arms cradling me, until interrupted by an awe attempt to capture the beautiful moment.

Now, as you can tell, I do love my birth mother.  And I always will.  Nothing will ever change that.  Not even the consistency of letters from my belligerent father or, hell, not even the constant wave of guilt and remorse I feel occasionally.

She is still my mother.  And as I drift to sleep tonight I wish she will appear in my dreams.  Like a nightly angel of some sort.  Not that I alone am religious… I do not have a faith.  But still, I know she is there.

“Rest in peace, mom,” I whisper, closing my eyes and drifting into a calm sleep.

 

Reviews

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

Courtney, I'm not sure why I felt so drawn to this piece. I have a feeling that somehow we share a common ground in some way. I was captivated by this story. Not because it was well written, which it is. More by the content of the story. It felt very framiliar in some way. This is a powerful story one I won't soon forget. You seem to be blessed with caring foster and then adoptive parents. I know many people who where not. Rest assured that she is smiling down on you and watching every stride you make with pride and love.
Debby

[Raef C. Boylan]

An absorbing piece. I hope you got a good grade for it?
I'm wondering what the assignment was: portrayal of a genius or something like that?
Nice attention to details and writing style [flaunting of his extensive vocabulary].

Thanks for sharing this.


I've been picky with typos, to help you support his claim of a 198 IQ:

"use your mind before expressing influenza of remarks" [an influenza?]

"So what would you be the extreme difference" [don't get this sentence - should it be "what would be"?]

"is Sanchez. (No I am not of the Latino origin)." [parenthesis should be included within the sentence:
is Sanchez (no I am not of the Latino origin).]

"In case you were wondering, no I have not visited my birth father in prison. It would indeed pain me to do so. Even if, over the thirteen years of our separation, that he has sent me letters- though I wonder how that was possible� how did he find out where I lived� - most in which stating things like, 'hey kiddo, miss ya so much. How bout visiting your ol man anytime soon?' And it would always enclose with, 'sorry for everything' and then his initials." [I like the content of this passage, but the way it's written is a little confusing; I advise you to consider re-wording it a little. If it was mine, I'd go for layout like this:

"Even if, over the thirteen years of our separation, during which he has sent me letters - though I wonder how that was possible� how did he find out where I lived - containing statements like, 'hey kiddo, miss ya so much. How bout visiting your ol man anytime soon?' Each letter would always conclude with, 'sorry for everything' and then his initials."

"steal blue eyes" [like a metallic blue? I think this should be spelt "steel"]

"I'm happy to say that I'd taken after her" [I'm = present tense, so should "I'd" = I've?]

"until interrupted by an awe attempt" [doesn't quite make grammatical sense...'awe-inspiring' maybe?]

[Greg the Bard]

Very alluring story. Very well writen and holds my attention.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A very good story, thank you for sharing. debileah

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Wow. What an amazing, seemingly honest story. I feel so drawn to it for some reason. I'm sure you'll get a good grade for this. GREAT WRITE

[Valentine]

Courtney..boy did you surprise me with this one kiddo..This is terrific. I was told about it by someone else and they thought it was your life story..Now I see it is for class..I loved it and will be waiting patiently for more..Love and God bless you sweetie..valentine