‘He’ showed me up,
to ‘his’ ceiling-
The majestic bunch light
hanging dead!
I smiled, mockingly
and said “why don't you allow-in
the brilliance of
millions of fireflies"
I'm not entirely sure about this poem, but somehow I get the feeling it's about shunning the materialistic nature of love and instead embracing the God given beauty. Just my thought, but it is definitely an intriguing write and well expressed. Maybe I should read the other comments in case you have explained it, but I think I'd prefer you views...very interesting write!!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Sid,
Every one is gifted with their own way of perceiving things. So you did. If I say-Red, it.. read moreSid,
Every one is gifted with their own way of perceiving things. So you did. If I say-Red, it might be a color for some, violence for some other and a rose for few. So is my poem. I appreciate that you some how caught hold of the theme. I was frustrated viewing the World around me- what matters to them- is 'material'...They find beauty in discounts and sales. You go and smile to a stranger- he will give a damn! We have almost forgotten that we are His creation...
At the end of the poem, I have mentioned what He and I in this poem connotes...
Thank you for going through my fantasy...
11 Years Ago
Yeah, but you can't deny that materialistic desires are relevant in this world though I agree it can.. read moreYeah, but you can't deny that materialistic desires are relevant in this world though I agree it can be a pain when all people think about is "material", we should take some time to look at real beauty. And your fantasy was worth dwelling into, so you are welcome!
I'm not entirely sure about this poem, but somehow I get the feeling it's about shunning the materialistic nature of love and instead embracing the God given beauty. Just my thought, but it is definitely an intriguing write and well expressed. Maybe I should read the other comments in case you have explained it, but I think I'd prefer you views...very interesting write!!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Sid,
Every one is gifted with their own way of perceiving things. So you did. If I say-Red, it.. read moreSid,
Every one is gifted with their own way of perceiving things. So you did. If I say-Red, it might be a color for some, violence for some other and a rose for few. So is my poem. I appreciate that you some how caught hold of the theme. I was frustrated viewing the World around me- what matters to them- is 'material'...They find beauty in discounts and sales. You go and smile to a stranger- he will give a damn! We have almost forgotten that we are His creation...
At the end of the poem, I have mentioned what He and I in this poem connotes...
Thank you for going through my fantasy...
11 Years Ago
Yeah, but you can't deny that materialistic desires are relevant in this world though I agree it can.. read moreYeah, but you can't deny that materialistic desires are relevant in this world though I agree it can be a pain when all people think about is "material", we should take some time to look at real beauty. And your fantasy was worth dwelling into, so you are welcome!
I'm going to be honest and say I don't really get this poem. Like Tate Morgan said, I have a vague sense that you are speaking about some deity. I also get some vague sense of what you are saying to him, but I have less sense about what you are saying these things in response to.
What I do get very clearly is the frustration and incredulity you seem to have just reached, at the inception of this poem. I'm going to rate this poem a 60, because of my difficulty understanding it, but you won points for building a dialogue and narrative which travel considerably and convey mood effectively over the span of so few words.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Nathan,
I am glad for the review and the rate I got. Thank you. I agree on your point o.. read moreNathan,
I am glad for the review and the rate I got. Thank you. I agree on your point of you not getting the core theme. Since, this poem entirely talks about
the materialistic world where reside a thought which hate every efforts of materialism...Yeah, the word 'frustration' actually fits the jigsaw-puzzle.
Any way, my regards to you for you meandered on my perplexing-thoughts...
Gracias.
12 Years Ago
No problem, and I should mention, less critically, I did enjoy the puzzle. The poem evoked vague, bu.. read moreNo problem, and I should mention, less critically, I did enjoy the puzzle. The poem evoked vague, but strong sensations. Feel free to send me a read request next time you revisit this theme.
A very interesting journey you took me on. Sometime hard to see beauty with eyes of sadness and disappointment. The poem open the door to thoughts and questions. I like the complete poem. A strong ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
I find your review inspiring for you always seek inspirations from them. Thank you.
Quite often we create the realization of what a person is in our lives by relating that to our need for companionship. What he may bring, took or show is an exercise of that companionship. But I guess you know that by now.
This is poignant , the need for something more than the material , the spiritual transcends . You conveyed this so well cutting in a way but most effective.
"When words are stiff and hard to evoke out; they shape themselves as a poem [that last forever] " -Sanjeeta Sharma Pokharel "Hridayaninadini"
http://sanjeetapokharel.blogspot.in/
When I see the.. more..