The pit of death

Another sad poetry on life and death...

I've been waiting,
Inside this dark deadly pit,
For the reaper to take me,
From this life, I want to quit...

No one has been here in ages,
No, not even the light.
It's dark as the burned corpses,
A life long, never ending night...

I shouted many times,
Till my throat got choked.
But no one ever heard my voice,
Just opposite of what I hoped...

I tried to climb up the pit,
Every once in a while.
But I never made it out,
The walls made so vile...

I want to see the sunshine,
Want to feel it's warmth...
All I see here is death,
And it's evil wraith...

Waiting for my judgement day,
I want to feel alive.
I've been here forever,
But there's no hope to survive...

Author's Note

Your views please...

Reviews

[Shitsune Hyuuga]

Sadness and pain, it breaks the heart. I feel the persona's very pessimistic though sometimes this really shouldn't be our view but many of the people around always are like this. We can't help it all around us there's the symptoms of the "mean-world-syndrome"

[Sanjh]

Yes there are people like this or just the state of mind. Thank you so much for reading Shisune..:)

[Sindu]

A sad heartfelt piece.. a quiet lament.. Good work.
Nicely put emotions into something so drastic and painful.. hoping for the pain to end in an ultimate way.

[Sanjh]

Thank you for the nice words Sindu...:)

[Sindu]

sure.. anytime.. :)

[Simran Kewlani]

It's a wonderful poem. But I think you can frame the last stanza like this:
"Waiting for my judgment day,
I want to feel alive,
I've been here for a while,
But there's no hope to survive."
Just a suggestion. Go through it. Hope it helps. :)

[Sanjh]

Hi Simran, thanks for the suggestion, a nice one...
Thank you for reading...:)

[Simran Kewlani]

My pleasure. :)

[hardeep sabharwal]

As for as this as a poem is good but not fits to my thinking, as I took every aspect of life in a positive light, and thinking of death or any suicidal thought is an act of cowered in my view,
coming back to the poem, word choice and narrations are apt and make it an interesting read
thankyou for sharing

[Coyote Poetry]

I learn from reading Dante Inferno. Death will come when he decide. The poem is seeking places and questions we will know one day anyway. I like the feel of need and desperation for death. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Coyote...:)

[Khyati]

Oh! I really like this one! Sometimes we all feel that way. I really can feel what all you are trying to say. But, I have a demand to make. Try to write something funny for beautiful eyes, please :)

[Sanjh]

Hehehe, ok Miss Beautiful Eyes, I'll try my best...:)

[Khyati]

Thank you ^_^

[Laura Lynn]

Get out of there man, open a curtain or may God send you your rescue, you need to see the light of day and not feel so cold for too long of you might really 'throw in the towel', sorry for the mixed metaphor

[Sanjh]

Thank you Laura. You are right. I'm not gonna give up so easily.
Thank you so much for the kind words...:)

[Laura Lynn]

I'm so glad you wrote back, I was worried I might have said something too harsh

[Sanjh]

Everything you wrote is correct Laura, thank you...:)

[R Smith]

a sad poem Sanjh almost to the point of hopelessness, its in a dark place like you have seen hell and its vile existence, may we all be saved from it :)

[Sanjh]

True Sir, no one should be destined for such a fate. God bless us all.
Thank you for reading...:)

[M.A.Rathore]

A nice poem about the depth of pangs expressing the the inner soul about to free from all the bondage in simple diction that it never goes beyond the subject..
Keep it up!

[Sanjh]

thank you so much for reading Sir...:)

[M.A.Rathore]

Yes ..sure but it should be in providing reviews in exchange...

[Sanjh]

yes, sure sir...:)

[M.A.Rathore]

Thanks ..It balances the balance...

[MomzillaNC]

Dark and anguished poem of torment and hopelessness.

NOTES: maybe: "The walls made [so] vile..."

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much for the correction, I'll update it right away...:)

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. Glad my suggestion helped.

[Surya pradha]

a dark poem, different from your other ones but equally impressive. like it a lot!

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much for appreciating Surya...:)