Beautiful Eyes

Romantic...may be...

Those sparkling blue eyes,
intoxicating like wine.
I can stare at them all day,
they are my holy shrine...
Every time I see you around,
my fate starts to shine.
I'm not joking my dear,
I want to make you mine...

Eyes blue as an ocean,
so beautiful and so deep.
let me be lost forever in it,
I'd never ever let you weep...
I'll take care of everything,
even when life gets steep.
Every night I will kiss your lips,
before you go to sleep...
 
Your eyes are so deceptive,
they trick me every time.
I wanna be with you forever,
but maybe it's just not my time...
Falling for your eyes,
was my only crime.
How naive of me?
You will never be mine...

Author's Note

Your opinion please, help me improve it...:)

Reviews

[Penny]

The beauty of eyes lies in the emotion they reflect, very beautiful and heart touching piece. The story you described here is indeed very common and infact a part of everyone's life, which brings us closer to our hearts on a different level. The treatement, again of this poem's subject is perfect.. starting from the rhyming scheme to the length and language. Very well done.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Penny...:)

[Penny]

My pleasure as always.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Very beautiful eyes indeed. I can believe that someone falls in love because of his or hers beautiful blue eyes. You have described this very well in you poem. The third stanza changes the feelings in the poem. Hope is lost and also love. But I know for sure there is a soulmate for every one of us. That should be the fourth stanza. Very well done. I think this is a good but sad love poem. :)
Rudi

[Sanjh]

That's true Rudi, there's a soul mate for everyone of us. thank you so much...:)

[stars are far]

oh that was so sad, and well written , i love the rhyme there, it was smart and well done, keep it coming :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you Suhad...:)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem.
"Your eyes are so deceptive,
they trick me every time.
I wanna be with you forever,
but maybe it's just not my time... "
The eyes can lead us to hope and dreams. I believe you gave enough description. Allowed the reader to feel the want in the words. Love can be trickery. What we need isn't what we truly need. Somethings like the ocean. Cannot be owned or controlled. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much for the kind words Koyote...:)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Luna Zerimar]

Aw, such a sad ending. I would've like to see the opposite.

I can truly see the beauty of the eyes of the individual. It's so beautiful.

Amazing write.

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Jessica...:)

[krystle]

very beautiful, i enjoyed reading this

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[SoulWriter]

Really beautiful!
I also have blue eyes so it's even nicer to read this.
"Eyes blue as an ocean,
so beautiful and so deep." This I liked the most

[Sanjh]

hi, I'm glad you liked it. And

"I didn't know anyone with blue eyes
to dedicate this poem to.
I'm glad I found one.
So I dedicate it to you..."

Thank you so much for reading...:)

[SoulWriter]

Your welcome!

[Ruth]

Eyes...sure are the luring quality to some people...some eyes hold a thousand stories untold and a million more ready to drown us should we seek them...sigh, lovely piece xo

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much ruth, I'm glad you liked it...:)

[Khyati]

AWWW.... The thing I love best about it is that even I used to get compliment about my eyes before I cried every night for 3 years for my ex.. LOL... Now that I don't cry, let's see if I revive the compliments ;)

[Sanjh]

Okay miss beautiful eyes. I'm sure your eyes are as beautiful as they used to be.
thanks for reading...:)

[Khyati]

LOL ;) Cool! Thanks..

[Laura Lynn]

This woman's eyes in the picture are truly captivating.
There is no improving a feeling of rapture. When we feel enraptured, there is no improvement until the heightened emotions subside into something more subdued, or not subdued yet still in elation but when the spirit enters into an unkind phase. I do not believe that you love every woman's eyes, nor could be so captivated by the color; but one woman's eyes, I could believe, I don't know because what I am going through right now emotionally and wanting so badly to understand my feelings and make them improve me and myself and I. Through this forum we are not entirely selfish by sharing and perhaps it is proximity that makes love the merrier.

[Sanjh]

You are right Laura. We cannot fall for anyone, but finding the special one is the greatest riddle.
And this forum sure is providing a platform, for some it's a place to express themselves, some are trying to find themselves, trying to know about self and so many other reasons.
Thank you for reading, take care...:)

[Arshia]

A beautiful poem..utterly romantic and soulful! Great job :)

[Sanjh]

Thank you so much Arshia...:)